Working on follow-up Schumer video, need feedback DO NOT RE-POST ANY VIDEOS

23  2016-01-25 by [deleted]

[deleted]

83 comments

Suggestions:

  1. Shorten the Opie & Jimmy clips. Especially the first one: You can cut the "I'm here to clean my bit intro" by Schumer.

  2. I would personally omit the Patrice bit. It's clearly based on old jokes and most people won't take the video seriously. If you really want, I would only end with it.

  3. The Maron commentary on Schumer isn't needed. His joke is enough.

  4. That Asian dude's web show is damning. I would probably open with that. He has more to say about her in his youtube video. I would probably expand based on his video. And maybe even open with that.

  5. In all, shortening the video would help. 11 minutes is too long for something to go viral. Shrink it.

But good work from a fellow hater of the Fat Pig.

Jumping on your post because I mostly agree with everything but:

  • The Opie and Jimmy audio is pretty much all dead-weight.

  • I think the Amy/Patrice bits are still effective if tightly edited together to show it's the same 2 sex acts (much like the slap chef and sleep gym, that was perfect). I'd suggest also throwing in a very short clip of Patrice talking about it being the ultimate crime to steal another comic's jokes.

  • The magician bit is what Opie would describe as "brewwdal". It's our atomic bomb. I would suggest though again, tightly editing it so the flow is similar.

  • Lose the panty gunk bit, there are no lines in it close enough to be deemed "stolen".

  • The video should include screenshots of tweets accusing her, preferably anything from a verified account.

All in all, keep up the great work and holy fuck make sure the audio levels are consistent or feel the wrath of r/Videos.

  • PigsArePunished: To clarify, are you saying that most (if not all) of Jimmy's advice show material should be removed?

  • I agree with PigsArePunished to keep the Patrice bits. Especially since not everyone (in the public) has seen them, since the video was pulled amidst the flurry. I think they're pretty damning when shown side-by-side. My vote (at this time) is to keep them in.

  • PigsArePunished: We'll tighten the magician bit. KingTutsstache: We'll open with it. Thanks for the advice.

  • PigsArePunished: I (sadly) agree that the Slate panty bit isn't damning enough for most dumb people to grasp.

  • PigsArePunished: Where to add tweet screenshots? A few people have suggested this, but have also said to cut it down. If we want to tighten this video, we can't make this into a documentary.

I'd suggest also throwing in a very short clip of Patrice talking about it being the ultimate crime to steal another comic's jokes.

OOOOO can you find that for us?

Ahhh fuck, he was speaking about Mencia and every sentence says the word "Carlos", it doesn't really apply to joke theft in general, but there are a few very short phrases that might be useful:

https://youtu.be/Ieikx25D3wg?t=724

Damn, this makes me miss Patrice....

[deleted]

Can't really lose anything at this point. She just took Marc Maron's premise, if you start nit-picking which bit is best or worst, you lose it.

I disagree, and agree with PigsArePunished. Ever watch a documentary with an agenda? The ones that don't convince me of their agenda are the ones that present lack luster evidence, even amidst good evidence. It takes the wind out of their sails, and makes me start considering the agenda of the documentary maker. At worst, it makes me dismiss all other arguments that documentary made.

You don't want stupid people watching our video and saying "Ehhh, some of those examples were convincing, but others weren't, so I dunno. I mean, what does it mean to 'steal' jokes? blahblahblah"

Better is "Wow. Those were all spot on. Holy shit, she stole those."

[deleted]

I think what he means as that the slate bit is all premise "notice my panties is whack", etc. The Maron bit is very similar but it has the advantage of being pretty quick and with a more famous comic than Jenny Slate

[deleted]

Under 10 minutes is more palatable I think. There's more than enough without it

The examples in that video were most definitely not spot on. Some were, but the ones that weren't severely detracted from your video's point. Way too much material, and premises were being compared loosely. I tapped out around 2:30, tapped back in, then completely closed the video around 5:00.

I read some of the comments. Yes, there are idiots that don't understand comedy. But there were some that I could understand. This is exactly what I'm trying to avoid: a discussion about "what does it mean to steal a bit?" It derails the conversation completely away from "Amy Schumer steals."

You just illustrated exactly what I mean.

This is exactly what I'm trying to avoid: a discussion about "what does it mean to steal a bit?

It's unavoidable.

Gray-area content is derailing the conversation. It's avoidable. We just need the right content.

Docuh-menTREe

In all, shortening the video would help. 11 minutes is too long for something to go viral. Shrink it.

The Rogan/Mencia video is 10:25.

Still too long for most people. It's sticker shock: "10 minutes?! yeah, I'll get to that later." And later never happens.

[deleted]

Let's keep the Slate bit on the back burner. I also like it, although it doesn't have nearly the same impact as the others. We can always add it back in if need be.

I think what would be optimal is if we found another super obvious example of bit stealing. Just ONE extra example would be amazing. Right now, I feel like we're trying to hang onto the Slate bit because we want more ammo against her (not necessarily better). If we get another bit like Mulaney or the magician, I think we'd feel better parting ways with Slate.

How about we set our sub people out to hunt for bits? And the best one(s) will have the opportunity of being in the next viral spiral. We can afford to take a few days before releasing the video. It might serve us well.

[deleted]

She also had a bit where she did crowd work where she calls out to the audience for people in their 40's, 30's, then 20's to cheer. She ends on 20's people and comments "That's what hope sounds like".

I know I've heard another comedian do that before.

I actually thought about this before as well. The only thing that bit reminded me of was Louis' Oh My God show, and it was for the 'age' part (see below).

But I know someone must have done the 'hope' part before. This has been bugging me for a few days. The only thing I can think of is Louis' Hilarious bit on 'optimism is stupid', but that's not right.

Amy Schumer -- Live at the Apollo (2015)

https://upload.ag/d8ufoyrfocgu.html [00:35:18] (need to scroll to timestamp)

Who here's in their 40s?

What about 30s?

20s?

(crowd: Whoooo!)

Do you hear that? Hope? Remember?

Do you remember 20s hope? Do you?

I kinda do.

You know, you're just walking around.

"Everything's gonna work out"

"Everyone's always gonna wanna fuck me."

And then you're like, "Oh, cool. Cellulite on my hands and feet."

Louis CK -- Oh My God (2013)

https://youtu.be/lluY8RAZ6Qk?t=1m11s [00:01:11]

How many people here, by applause, are 40 or younger?

(crowd: Whoooo!)

That's every time. "Whoo! Whoo!" every time.

[deleted]

This may be a stolen premise, but the skit elaborated big time on it. The similarity here is that both characters said "I'm cool with it", as well as the general idea of a girl obnoxiously going to a strip club with male coworkers. I don't think it's enough for a viral video.

[deleted]

So you want to wait incase another parallel joke comes out?

We just discovered the magician bit yesterday. And it's one of our best examples. So yes, we poke around intensely for the next day or so. The video isn't even ready to go yet as it is.

I'd put the video out

Which one? I didn't think we had one ready.

[deleted]

Right now, I'm just talking editing. Split screen, cutting unnecessary bulk, adding in constant dates. I'm not talking about removing bits.

What should I drop then?

I might drop the Jenny Slate example, other than that, then we're getting into other examples/Amy Schumer audio.

We might be at a crossroads here.

This is easily the most genuine relationship I've ever seen here

I initially thought the stuff from patrice, wendy etc wouldn't be part of a new vid. I think you have enough to go on with the mulaney, jenny slate and the magician bits. Good work though.

[deleted]

Most definitely needs the Asian/Magician bit.

And I actually think the split-screen-paused format is awesome for this vid! It keeps both people in mind while one talks, so that you're anticipating the rebuttal. I hope you keep that format.

Awesome! I'm glad you like it. I also put Amy on the right to subconsciously tell people that the bit on the left is "before", and Amy's is "after".

Directionality, thats brilliant

Definitely needs the magician bit..... It's the worst one so far.

Good video though. Agree the split screen is spot on.

I'm watching the vimeo version now, but I think the underpants one in the first video is not a good example to leave in. Look at /r/TwoXChromosomes - women talking about gunk in their underpants all day.

Vimeo version has too much of Schumer's lying on Jim's show. You don't need all of that. Better to just show all the clips, then end with the clip of her saying you could do it with any other comedian, and then maybe a challenge to do it.

First version is much better. Vimeo version has too much junk

I like the way MischiefMakers weaved his lines in there, but I think it might lengthen and detract from the purpose of the video.

And I like your ending idea. Can you timestamp the clip where she says you could do it with any other comedian, and link below?

[deleted]

Shit, you're the actual MischeifMaker? Shit man, no joke. Your work is awesome. Big fan

After watching both I have concluded that you both were sent here from a higher power. Secondly I think, during the portions of the vid that you are showing the comedians side by side with Miss Piggy, you should leave the date on screen during the whole bit. Seems more damning when it shows the year on screen for both Amy's plagiarized bit and the original comedian. When you have the dates side by side on screen for the duration of them talking it makes it easier for dumb people(Opie) to realize that the original Bit happened before Amy's bit. Let's be real here if we want this thing to take off you kinda have to keep it simple so that internet bafoons understand it and are outraged. I like how Maron is depicted. At first I thought showing clips of him back to back flip flopping on the subject would be nice. The way it is it features him as a guy who is almost mad about joke theft and disregards his Deion Sanders like backpedaling which he has since broadcasted. I like how we ignored Maron in this instance. He deserves more of that. Also, Peckas.

YES. I agree with the date comment. People are stupid, we need to help them out as best we can.

Great job with side by side of the Kathleen stuff. It really drives home the point that she got two ideas from the same minute of that stand up special. Lets see wormy-boy defend that without looking like a complete jackass.

I think the ones from video one should maybe be towards the end if at all - at this point those who care have seen those bits and made a judgement, or not.

These new clips are more fuel to the fire and should lead the way.

Also, screenshots of the accusatory tweets could work well

Second this. If you're watching this video it's probably because you've already seen the first one. If you want to leave the old stuff move it to the end and tighten it up. We've already tilled that ground.

Opie's a cunt.

I don't really care about this, except for the fact that there's obvious issues with the video.

Put the new videos at the start. You put the videos that have already made the rounds too early. I stopped watching because I've seen those examples. It needs to start with new evidence and end with a recap of everything that's already been exposed.

Remove Maron's video because he's already come out in support.

Include the audio of her saying that she stole $100,000 of clothing with her tweet saying that she would never ever steal.

Some people say lose the panty joke, I'd put that second. It is pretty close and the film won a bunch of awards. Very likely that she/her writer saw it.

Remove Maron's video because he's already come out in support.

I (personally) don't care what he thinks. Two bits exist, and they're very similar. Whether or not he feels offended by this reality is moot.

Include the audio of her saying that she stole $100,000 of clothing with her tweet saying that she would never ever steal.

PLEASE LINK THIS. Please! This is a great idea.

@amyschumer

2016-01-20 21:44 UTC

On my life, I have never and would never steal a joke.


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You're perfection, thank you!

Take out the old clips tbh fam.

Also it could be a good idea to include pics or video of /u/nicnacattack's tits in this- just a suggestion.

Take out the old clips tbh fam.

Much of the public didn't see the first video before it was taken down. We're leaning toward pushing the old clips to the back.

Also it could be a good idea to include pics or video of /u/nicnacattack 's tits in this- just a suggestion.

True, BUT we want this video to get mainstream acceptance. :'(

We're leaning toward pushing the old clips to the back.

Good compromise if they have to be included- make sure people don't click off if they see old clips. Maybe even include the original tweets with the old clips or with new material just as it is?

True, BUT we want this video to get mainstream acceptance. :'(

Another grand artistic choice bowlderized by the demands of a bourgeois marketplace.

I would also include the tweets of the three comics on screen during their bit and Schumer's

Thanks for the compliment in the other comment.

I was trying to find the tweets the other day, but I can't. They got deleted and I don't think anybody took screen grabs from them.

Thanks for the feedback.

Dude, I found a couple of the tweets. I'll send them to you by PM.

And where to add them? And why add them? I don't see the value here.

Maybe overlayed with the Tammy interview. It reinforces that there are other comics with similar claims

Edit: I think it would be helpful to show that it was female comics who got this ball rolling

Can't. Reading while simultaneously listening to spoken word uses the same cognitive resources. As such, neither the reading nor the spoken word is transferred to working memory well, and therefore neither material is retained well (see dual-task interference if you want to know more).

You'll be asking waaaay too much from people.

Maybe if all three tweets thrown at the very beginning. Five seconds of silence with the tweets. I don't know shit about video editing

That's an idea. We'll fiddle around with it. It seems like a few people want the tweets in.

baldopie zepplin makes me laugh. Please tell me there's 10 seconds for that!?

You're a good egg.

You guys are doing great. I have nothing to add except it needs baldopie and zepplin at the end as a tag

The panties joke isn't similar enough, it takes away from your argument. Maybe put little titles (whitetext on black screen) between the clips of who the artists are and open with a title. Are the shots reversed on purpose? The cropping is a bit funky, for me the slap chef one should really be full frame.(mayeb shrink it to full frame but half the size of the screen?

I'll work on the cropping, thanks.

Also, it sounds like we need to scrape the Jenny Slate (panties) joke.

Edit: "scrap" not "scrape". Ew.

Like maybe a 'previously on' Schumer's steals: and then a super quick, 30 sec - 1 min chop up of really tight edits of the stuff from video one.

Hmmmm, there's an idea. But I want to open with the new stuff.. How would that look, then?

Add Tammy mentioning Amy has the same management team as Madonna. I believe it was Madonna or someone very famous.

If you need bumper music (even though Led Zeppelin is a nice touch), I suggest 'Bittersweet Symphony' by the Verve. It's a pretty famous example of a plagiarism/legal battle in music, and a lot of people that hear it associate it with plagiarism.

Zapruder-style breakdown trimming/adding suggestions:

At the beginning, I suggest cutting the stuff about the polygraph 0:13-26. Start it back in with '. . .I had never'.

Cut 0:39-0:46.

Potentially add in a side-by-side replay of both of them doing the hair-throw hand motion. Maybe in slow motion for effect. 0:38 for Patrice, 0:54 for Amy. Drills in that she even stole the physical aspect of the joke. Maybe do the same thing for the waving. 1:20-ish for Patrice, 1:45 for Amy. Might be a silly idea, though.

Cut the 'I didn't happen to catch her 2006 comedy special' 1:50-2:10.

Cut 'None of us had ever. . .' 2:31-2:44.

Move the Wendy audio before the clip. Move 4:21-4:25 to before the joke, cut 4:25-5:08.

Move the snarky part where Amy says 'Tammy is trying to get something going' (around 2:00, I don't care to go back) to just before Tammy speaking at 5:08.

That's all I have the energy for right now. Definitely toss in Bald Opie at the end, possibly the O&J logo or just an @OpieRadio.

EDIT: I definitely agree with others in reshuffling. Move the Magician to the front, followed by Mulaney and then Maron. Move Patrice and Kathleen to the back.

I'll definitely try these out. I appreciate the specific feedback. This is what I've been looking for.

Thanks again.

I'll skip the Bald Opie though, I want to avoid fueling any accusations of this just being troll bullshit.

Could you just do 1 frame bald opie?

Fair enough w/ the BaldOpie.

If I feel like it later, I'll go through the rest. Even just the minor cuts I suggested trim about 90 seconds off, and it's in line with what everyone else is suggesting. I like the angle of her stealing from women and denigrating Tammy. Maybe there's a better way to drive that home.

Potentially add in a side-by-side replay of both of them doing the hair-throw hand motion. Maybe in slow motion for effect. 0:38 for Patrice, 0:54 for Amy. Drills in that she even stole the physical aspect of the joke. Maybe do the same thing for the waving. 1:20-ish for Patrice, 1:45 for Amy. Might be a silly idea, though.

Not a silly idea. I actually tried cropping the videos so their end gesture (e.g. Patrice's wave for the Poltergeist) were the last image for the clips. I'll look into how I can merge them together.

In a second look, I would cut out some parts of the Opie and Jimmy interview. Makes her sound more appealing than she deserves.

Maybe in between bits add the clips of her in "republican character" from old shows just for more character assassination. If a lot of people hear it, they might not believe it was just a character.

No, we need to keep this short, snappy, and to the point. And no misleading the viewers. People don't want to believe that their hero (Amy) is stealing jokes. We don't want to give them any ammo to believe what we're saying isn't true or taken out of context.

Yes perfect. Hispanic rape, and black stuff.

We can make an "Amy is a hypocrite" video later.

Good work, but why three Ls in parallel?

Typo.

So how'd that polygraph go?

Just watched the whole Chappelle doc u did. Man that was great dude! All the Neal and Chapelle shit is a shame and bummer.Really good job putting it together, gonna watch the Patrice one next

Hey man, thanks. I appreciate that.

Thank you, just killed 2 hours of my boring life. Amazing how you told the story so well just from all those clips. What other longer length videos like that do you have?

Just the Patrice thing, only it's not as long.

This video actually changed my mind. I thought she did steal but now I think she only stole the pay for sex joke. The rest are not stolen, merely the same subject/premise.

/u/MischiefMakersProd Ok, so I've been listening to random sets of other comedians, and nothing damning so far. I say we go with your plan to move forward and start editing the final draft now. Since this last round of editing will take about 24 hours (since we have lives) to do right, that will provide this sub / the public a bit more time to come up with an example.

What are your thoughts on making a "you have 24 hours to come up with an example" post?

Also, what are you using to edit?

[deleted]

Yes, good idea.

Good luck team.

[deleted]

[deleted]

How long is this video going to be?

Typo.

Gray-area content is derailing the conversation. It's avoidable. We just need the right content.