Amy Schumer LIVE on JIM NORTON ADVICE SHOW

54  2016-01-20 by PeteFo

188 comments

She really is delusional. "If Louie had that interaction with that kid, people wouldn't say anything." If Louie got offended and called a kid out for calling him fat/bald, people would absolutely jump on him.

she is using the mencia defence. Deny and "everybody else is wrong!"

That's also the Opie and Anthony defense.

Playing the 'tard card

She needs to check her privilege.

I hate arguments like this. "If Louie did this thing that he would never do - it would be different!" Maybe Louie fans like him cuz he's the type of person that doesn't do that bullshit?

Also, if Louie farted it wouldn't be on the front page of Huffington Post the next day about how it wasn't just a fart but an important moment in feminist history and women of all cultures

Louis also keeps his fat rolls in his shirt and doesn't assault my senses with them in a lazy and pathetic attempt to make a statement about nothing.

If he does take his shirt off on his show its cuz his body is a hilarious joke. It's not a statement on "thin priveledge" or whatever the fuck these people keep writing about

He's shown it many times as well as his ass and penis.

It was cold and scared of the camera.

No, you don't understand. When Amy was a little girl she was told to sit down be quiet and don't be funny, where as Louie was allowed to run rampant with his dick out screaming at the top of his lungs. Amy is a victim where as Louie is a truly free cis-gendered white male.

Cis-gendered spick male actually.

spick-gendered?

cis-gendered kike male to be accurate.

where as Louie was allowed to run rampant with his dick out screaming at the top of his lungs

date male privilege :D

seriously though i loved that sentence

I like how she is quoting the reddit thread about it. She is playing it off like she "joked back". She thought she was being called a whore and got salty. Then sicced her anti-slut-shaming team on the poor little gay kid.

Can't even believe she tried to go there.

Louie wouldn't get offended stupid

I just realized that you were probably speaking to her which would ironically make me the guy who misses the point

Guy who misses the point

Also she's not even close to being on the same level as Louis as a comedian. I truly hate this cunt.

Jimmy has no self-respect.

You would think if your friend got big and left you in the dust, stopped doing your show, cut you from her movie, and started pretending to be a completely different person you might tell them fuck them self when they show up for damage control.

Remember when someone asked about Club Soda Kenny on some talk show? She said that he was the guard of some guy she knew or something. Couldn't even use Jim's name on TV, but jawless Jim is latched firmly onto her fat ass anyways.

I never liked the "worm" nickname, but i get it now, I really do. Ugh, what a fucking tool he turned into.

I disagree. If one of the biggest (no pun intended) comics and new movie star wants to come over to your apartment to speak after shes been accused of all that... you say yes....

Yeah this is good content, can't call Jim a worm for having her on.

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you're mostly right. i just wish it was different.

he's comfortable applying hard truths to people when they aren't around.

but i can't think of a single example of him standing his ground when it means confronting a friend, someone he's attracted to, or someone with greater social stock.

it's just fatiguing to listen to now.

that said he's still the only person from O&A that is even re-motlee open minded and i hope he can do something new, and independent this fall.

What if they still contact eachother. Not everything should be recorded

jimmy sadly has very low self worth, he cucks himself at night

She says that our lives are sad, yet says that her average night consists of playing with her sisters dog and reading her phone. Truly a renaissance woman.

I thought her average night consisted of drinking and fucking multiple guys... oh wait, that's just a character.

Like Mistah Imus!

A REPUBLICAN character, those sexist and racist assholes.

Better than Colbert!

Yeah we go on a website to make each other laugh instead of reading @ mentions and getting offended. So sad.

was she talking about internet ppl in general or us

"These sad dudes live in their mother's basements and can't get laid. I hang out in my sister's living room and I can get random dick whenever I want and I won't die alone because I have my cats."

Nobody gets mad because a women is successful, just stop with this bullshit talking point already. People get mad that women are held to lower comedic standards and given praise for mediocre work because they're a woman.

I'm not angry with Sotomayor or Elizabeth Holmes. Schumer's a dishonest, hypocrite piecea gawwbidge.

I'm upset with Jane Goodall, the redcoat species-traitor cunt.

Love is love, you son of a bitch.

You gotta go full Ant and call her a race traitor!

That is a brilliant point.

J-Law name drop - Drink

No its not women, its morally superior bags of shit that people dont like.

You never met a woman?

Touche

She didn't try and pull that card, did she?

Does anyone on either side of the issue really give a fuck what she thinks about gun control? It's not like the guy committed the shooting because of his rage for her boundary-breaking, taking-it-BACK-for-feminism comedienne stylings, HE WAS FUCKING NUTS. He could've just as easily shot up Expendables 3 or some shit instead.

The audiences of both films would be equally deserving of a mass shooting.

She's going to take a polygraph on her show this season. This sub has forced its way onto comedy central.

Well be on A&E by March!

Talk to my agent first, fuckhead.

i hope one of the test questions is:

Are you overweight/obese?

"People are angry & afraid of womyn"..

Only thing I heard before I swiftly tabbed out & felt my blood pressure rise.

Why would I be afraid of a whole opposite sex that is inferior in so many ways?

She's promising to take a polygraph to verify she's never seen those bits. So far is laying it all on Tammy, and the writers.

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Oh, great now she's stealing the classic polygraph bit?!

How degrading and desperate to have to claim you'll take a polygraph to prove you're not a thief. Of course she'll never take that test because she's a thief.

No shit.... if her saying that isn't her low point, somebody better inform her that it is. Why can't women just shut the fuck up? I am one, but I hate to admit it. Also...I'm not funny

Polygraphs can suck my dick. Aren't they only 50something% accurate.

Not even that accurate if someone is sociopathic or fat from jizz.

Hahahahahahaha

I've passed two polygraphs that I shouldn't have.

Let's just say that there's another man sitting in prison right now having avery hard time because of that..

Is this an Opie quote?

fuck you too, shitbird

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How about next time you fuck up your grammar you fix it instead of dropping italics on it, you stupid fuck.

Go on, elaborate, you fat retard faggot

Even Brother Joe beat one.

Polygraphs arnt lie dectectors theyre nervousness detectors

Unless she takes a live polygraph test from someone hired by an outside party, I call bullshit on her test. If her people hire the operator then he'll be told what questions he can and can't ask. So she'll be able to have the test administered in such a way to steer the answer her way. Also if it's a taped segment they can do bait and switch editing to make her answers match up with results that go in her favor.

She opened for at least one of the women in question if not all 3 of them so how can she claim she never saw the bits? Did she leave the comedy club and never watch the people she opened for?

she's stolen jokes for her specials too. she gonna blame that on Tammy as well?

i do hate Tammy though. after what she did to bird person last season.

"everything you say carries weight" -- good one Jimmy

Fat shaming!

jimspirations

fucking so grody. ew

looool

Now she's trying to claim that Hilary Clinton and President Obama don't possibly have any agendas. She appealed to her "expertise" of meeting with Hilary and Obama. You heard it, she's an expert on politics now.

She's an insufferable cunt. Period.

Her extended family did breed both of them in a tank though.

So many celebrities become political experts when they meet a politician. Sean Penn, Susan Sarandon, Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt, George Clooney, Bono, etc. etc. all become "political activists" after just a quick word and a hand shake. Then they get on TV and spout their pseudo intellectual bullshit and the even more unintelligent masses eat it up and spout it back. That's how we have white guilt, white privilege, black lives matter, slut shaming and so many other terms. Our country is on the slippery slope to oblivion and Amy and her ilk are giving us all a push.

Ha she's doing a poo poo in jimmys house

Anyone have the stream?

1/20/16 the day of /u/HowsThatFeelFucker.

He really is our shining star. <3

I'd say it's actually the day of u/cardaderdention - I just took all the link karma. But either way, thanks peckah.

Damn it, you're using my flair. Well, I guess you deserve it, I'll change mine.

Very kind of you, but first is first. I am now assuming the role of a Jew.

Damn it, now your is better than mine. Fawkin cocksuckah!!!

thanks

So far she's taking the Jim Norton approach of "I don't watch other comedians"

She has opened for all of the comics that are accusing her. She needs a new excuse.

Even her excuses are plagiarised.

she asked for help from the pests to address this on her twitter because she needs to address it.

I have no eyes but i must cream

THIS JUST IN: Shootings make Amy sad, more at 11

Someone call in and say polygraphs are bullshit!

So jimmy is basically pleading for a movie role by inviting the nothing over his crib? Maybe she'll let him open for her one day and steal a joke or two

Undeniably a failure by you fags. I was able to spit out a question that was at least somewhat interesting. Where the hell were you guys .

Which one were you? I was the Eddie Pepitone guy- I plugged my username at the end.

I asked her about her closer for her Apollo special and how it could be considered hacky.

That was a good question- she liked it. I thought I got her when she said the line I asked about - the hockey fights line- was a Jon Glaser ad lib. I saw that line in the published screenplay. http://www.universalpicturesawards.com/site-content/uploads/2015/08/Trainwreck-Final-Script.pdf

The Opester must love this...

That's the best part about this!

Not to worry, we'll be done with the Schooms and resume the titster hate before long.

He usually just has to open his mouth

She sounds like she's going to cry. We're doing the Lord's work, fellas.

Denny be praised.

Ah-peckas.

Are these callers fake?? They are terrible.

Mine was real, and it was terrible. I should be shot.

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fuck off

Jimmy: "What prompted you to talk about guns?"

Fontaine is a huge queer

HOW DID THIS TURN INTO A LEGITIMATE Q&A WITH AMY SCHUMER???

Listen, we're real movers and shakers around here. Lords of industry. When we say "Amy stinks" people listen.

THIS HAS TAKEN A TURN.

Abject failure by this Sub on this one.

Is not my sorrow deep, having no bottom? Then be my passions bottomless with them. If there were reason for these miseries, then into limits could I bind my woes.

This is like when Rolling Stone gave El Chapo the forum to say whatever he wanted, unchallenged.

joke thief!

Man, shes floundering with her excuses...

LOL I was in when she was explaining her "stealing", kinda felt bad... now she's on gun control and dropping hillary and other names, holy shit, I did complete 180, uneducated moron spewing bullshit she doesn't understand, loophole != breaking the law, anyone can break a law, we don't need more laws to stop breaking existing laws, what a retarded argument she just made

By her own logic, creating more laws would just create more loopholes. lmfao

I actually shut off the free stream at that point and gave up, you can't argue with that logic & mentality

My theory is... She's a mediocre at best comic who suddenly found herself in the spotlight. She was in demand and needed to deliver more than she could handle. She got desperate and lifted some jokes.

And filled her hbo special with unneeded pauses and ums, repeating the same im garbage next to celebrities joke over and over. I get wanting to say yes to the opportunity of a special on hbo but if you arent ready for an hour, say so, doing a solid hour of personal material a year later is way better than the horseshit she put out

why is she speaking in pig latin?

I live in her hometown, there has been no media presence

I just fucking panicked. I was hiding in the washroom at work and asked the first time that came to mind. I should be killed.

Also I forgot to do my British accent.

At least you have a job

I was hiding in the washroom at work

Best summary of us I've ever seen.

Also I forgot to do my British accent.

Brit here. sometimes i forget too.

Jimmy, so spineless - literally gave his show to this thief? He doesn't even have a mic! Holy shit!

Fuck I accidentally hung up

You pussy, you just casually asked a question

I panicked. :(

She looks more like Greg The Hammer Valentine than Ronda Rousey

Well Tammy was definitely listening...

I heard she unveiled her new character, Chap Chapperson. Where does she get her ideas?

WHERE IS A STREAM I NEED A STREAM

Edit: Found it in the obvious place http://connectcast.tv/opieandanthony

She is pretty much keeps saying she will take a polygraph and keeps denying stealing jokes and that she would never do that. She saying she will fight back and not become like the other joke thief comedians.

The same polygraphs that are not held liable in a court of law? She is a fucking beat down and bloated Chelsea Handler.

jimmy is probably thinking this is gonna be his big break

poor little lad

As much as this is a whole mess of bullshit. I would love if her rebuttal went viral just to fuck over Opie.

This dude is actually asking for relationship advice...

Please RAMONE

Loves the Eddie Pepitone but never heard his CD.... sounds familiar

Yeah Amy, gunshows generally consist of people backing up semi-trucks

well at least she admits they're hacky jokes, especially for a closer - next call

Yeah, and taking a polygraph on her show is gonna make us all believe her dumbass? She can easily manipulate the test results cause it's on HER SHOW!!!! How stupid does she think we are? If she wants to take a polygraph, do it on someone else's show were we know they won't fuck with the results. She's the dumb fuck that brought up taking a polygraph test, she better fucking do it right and do it on someone else's show.

The callers are just as bad as Yimmy. All of you should have AIDS flung at you.

They're good little lapdogs. Get whatever treat you can find and throw it at them, you know damn well they'll lap that shit up.

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peckas?

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Someone call in and say polygraphs are bullshit!

and cite this

http://www.vox.com/2014/8/14/5999119/polygraphs-lie-detectors-do-they-work

"There's no unique physiological sign of deception. And there's no evidence whatsoever that the things the polygraph measures — heart rate, blood pressure, sweating, and breathing — are linked to whether you're telling the truth or not,"

and

Congress ended up leading to a nationwide ban on private employers giving polygraph tests to employees, and a 1998 Supreme Court decision ruled against the use of polygraphic evidence in some federal courts because "there is simply no consensus that polygraph evidence is reliable."

tl;dr: polygraphs are pseudoscience

Just Ramone her

Ask her if she lit a match after blowing up Norton's bathroom.

Ask her why she thinks Opie put out this video of her in a desperate attempt to go viral.

Half-retarded, half-genius....so average?

Right at the top, of the bell curve

Well at least she shit on Keith Robinson.

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I PROMISE YOU! PERIOD

Charlie in Philly better be illiterate and a joke caller for fucks sake

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"I think it's annoying and gross when celebrities get involved with politics." Just shut up.

I don't even give a shit about this dumb broad at this point. But I'm still laughing at the Bald Opie picture at the end of the video.

Peckahs

I get it, because she's a whore, right?

Shots fired at Keith Robinson.

We have now managed to get more time than Travis on an Opie/Anthony channel.

Fat Jimmy is shedding a single tear at the sight of this amorphous blob, molding into the form of a feminist sjw. He used that tear to jam his half hard peckah into the "pussy" of a transsexual.

I dont think Laurel and Hardy ever said "So then you pull out and your friend starts fucking her!"

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So is this white knights only?

Whats the number, is it over?

Yes :(

I am listening to a "replay" but she says why wait until now to release and do this. Well, sometimes it takes time to build a case and you need at least enough evidence and proof that you've been stealing. I didn't know about Louis and Dane until a case was built-up and was proven to be true and Louis calls Dane out on his own show. Same with Hicks and Leary. Anyway, I am here for the drama because my life is boring right now.

Thanks. I missed the whole thing live and didn't realise it was on Opie's channel.

Of course Opie uploads it after Double Guns. What an attention whore.

I feel bad for Amy having to feel bad for all of us and for the comediennes that are jealous of her. That's a huge amount of emotional weight to carry. So I feel bad for her. All that extra weight.

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This is great. Hope she somehow ends up doing hard time in a men's federal prison.

Every one of the friends Amy mentioned is a Jew

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Sharpen those pitchforks bbbbb-boysss

Jimmy would fit in any jar you put him in.

I thought her average night consisted of drinking and fucking multiple guys... oh wait, that's just a character.

I panicked. :(

was she talking about internet ppl in general or us

Yeah we go on a website to make each other laugh instead of reading @ mentions and getting offended. So sad.

Talk to my agent first, fuckhead.

"These sad dudes live in their mother's basements and can't get laid. I hang out in my sister's living room and I can get random dick whenever I want and I won't die alone because I have my cats."