The slate of shows for the new channel, whose development has been overseen by Spike Jonze, includes new titles like Gaycation with Ellen Page and Portraits with Marc Maron, as well as titles it already hosts on YouTube like Weediquette and Fuck That's Delicious

This is an Onion article, right?

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They actually want the channel to be successful.

He was the old host of gaycation before they picked up Ellen page

"Fuck That's Delicious" - I imagine that's a cooking show for edgy characters that don't give a fuck, MAAAN.

its actually some fat tub of lard, wannabe rapper who goes around stuffing his gullet talking incoherently.

Your description was spot on. I knew it would be Action Bronson.

Action Bronson? Douche chills all over that name.

Who is literally doing a Ghostface Killah impression at all times of the day.

Sherrod?

I can't wait to see uninteresting lesbians try to shoehorn their sexual preference into ziplining and do their best impersonations of men.

their best impersonations of men.

Speaking of Gavin

Gavin really seems to have adopted alcoholism late in life.

No, Vice has been hipster shit for a while now. Gaycation with Ellen Page sounds about right. And of course something about weed, duuuuude.

It was always hipster. Now it's SJW queer.

It would actually make a semi-good movie.

2 college buddies, Gavin and Suroosh, start a government subsidised counter-culture magazine in Canada. Going on this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n8Vn5fJglsE , Suroosh is a sensible, level-headed man with a young family and dreams of maximising the potential profit of said magazine once they move it to NYC. Gavin is a weird, shy, quiet, sensitive little fruit who likes to ride a BMX indoors while dressed in a cravat tie and wellington boots. He will soon bring this self conscious quasi ostentation to the streets of NYC and will become known as the "godfather of hipsterdom."

Along the way, in the magazine's earlier years in Canada, Gavin hired a guy he knew and looked up to as a kid, called Shane, to sell ad space for them. Shane was the kind of guy Gavin always wanted to be when he was younger. He was glamorously working class compared to Gavin's comfortably beige middle class upbringing. He used to sell coke, bang anything that moved and beat the shit out of anyone who fucked with him. Basically just a thug with a silver tongue, Shane found that selling advertising wasn't a whole lot different than selling blow, and that he had a talent for it.

Flash forward 10 years, Shane has wrestled control of and become the face of what is now a multi media organisation. Suroosh has kept mostly behind the scenes, not stepped on any toes and is due to also become a very rich man. Gavin has been payed a handsome chunk of change to fuck off, after his attention seeking became less wistful and more "let me say what I'm sure will shock you." His future lies on a paid internet podcast network. While for his former partners, the sky is the limit.

Wow, I didn't think it was possible but Gavin was an even bigger faggot back then than he is now.

Shane was the kind of guy Gavin always wanted to be when he was younger. He was glamorously working class compared to Gavin's comfortably beige middle class upbringing.

And that's exactly why I don't fuck with the guy, he just comes off extremely transparent, nothing about him comes off as authentic which is even sadder that the dude is pushing mid 40's.

Nice find with the video.

It's like The Social Network but instead of billionaires its 50 year old hipsters in their friend's basements.

Kind of, except Gavin is the only one who isn't a billionaire and hes the only one working in ants basement.

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Fuck I'd love to have as much free time as you have, sexy.

You've made as many posts on reddit in the last 24 hours as I have in the last 16 days. I suspect you have plenty of free time on your hands, sweet cheeks.

I just wish my posts were of substance as are yours.

It's good to have goals.

I like Gavin. Vice sucks now. They take sides.

Yes they do Whereas Gavin is perfectly fair and balanced.

Gavin doesn't profess to be a journalistic source of merit you falsely equivalating shitheel.

The onions videos making fun of vice are perfect

i know, i was kind of late to the party. i hear how it used to be and it sounded badass. i look at it now and i don't really see much of a difference from anything else.

Serious question: I'm struggling getting blood stains off my concrete basement floor. I've tried the standard bleach/mop even scrubbed it with a wire brush. Should I attempt a more aggressive chemical next?

Sometimes the stain can get engrained in the fibers of the concrete. When that happens, the best thing you can do is sledgehammer the section, remove it, and then replace it. It may seem a tad excessive, but you know how those pesky kids can be :)

If you leave it alone for a year, it yellows and degrades, and looks like any boiler water stain.

This is why you should always murder people next to your boiler. (Duh.)

Could a powerwasher do? If the pressure is high enough, that is. I know ice cold water helps with those type of stains on fabric, especially if they're fresh, never had to remove them from concrete though.

A power washer's good If ya don't mind slackin off. We don't use those down at the job site I'll tell ya that much. Get me a container of coffee and a good ol' fashioned hose and I'm happy.

Nothin a little elbow-grease can't fix. These kids want it all spoon-fed to them like mommy used to do, welcome to the real world pal!

Yeah you go ahead and use your power washer, that's you. I'll be over here puttin' some real work in on the job site. That's what I do.

What are you some kind of barbarian? Haven't you ever heard of pressure washer?

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--'we outta quick lime man' --'we got vacants on both sides, he'll stink is all'

I see you've got the DeWalt cordless...

coca-cola, the acid eats up the blood. they use it in los angeles county when someone gets murdered on the corner, and they don't want a puddle of blood for the ppl to see the next day.. try it.

you can use hydrogen peroxide, it gets blood out of pretty much anything, itll fizz up when you put it on

Vice is so shit now. This is going to be a financial disaster. Young people are moving away from the rabid sjw crap, and nobody wants preachy hipsters in skinny jeans giving them news about ISIS and weed.

I fucking hate Vice.

Yeah a few years ago I used to binge watch their documentaries. Then once the HBO series got going it seemed to dry up. I will give them credit where credit's due. Vice reporters have some balls. No fucking way you are going to see Anderson Cooper in a Columbian sewer hiding from a death squad. I hope that they will at least ramp up their news dept for the cable launch. Doubtful though.

Most of the big media news these days is about the unbundling of cable television into pieces you can pay to access with just an internet connection. But Vice Media, which started as a government-subsidized paper-and-ink magazine and has since become a surging player in the digital media space, is making a move into traditional linear television.

It doesn't sound smart, even in the opening paragraph. So they're gonna be the ones to get Millennials to become cable subscribers again?

This is going to bomb as hard as the VICE deal with HBO did. There's just no way to pump out quality content at broadcast speeds. I remember in 08 when VICE was doing shit like going to the shit-beaches of Liberia and tracking down blood drinking generals of child soldiers. Now it's just going to KKK rallies with 4 members and pot dispensaries in CO.

Mark my words: this 'channel' will be a bomb.

I honestly don't think Gavin would want to be apart of what Vice has become

Successful

And lame

vice honestly sucks ass, they peaked at their documentaries on netflix everything after that liberia documentary is meh.

I blame that fat weasel for everything wrong with Brooklyn.

VICE should hire Gavin and put his show on the network. That would be hilarious. Although Gavin would never agree to it, and they would never offer.

I'm sure as co-founder he's getting some money out of this.

They've been talking about having a cable network for almost 3 years now. I'm sure he is well aware of it by now.

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"I ask millenials to quit porn, and their answer is 'fuck you'"

Who can listen to that fuck?

Rat, specifically. He is right that it's not the best thing for a man especially a younger one.

what happened with gavin and vice? i must be very out of the loop

crying all the way to the bank

No way man, he made that company what it is, and it's garbagee without him... He's super rich because of it, and even though he can easy afford his own platform he does a weekly show on a really small network behind a paywall because fuck the world. Vice is just frauds, no way they have any money/fans.

People believe that.

lol meanwhile Gavin is stuck doing shows on the TACs network. A network to which the general public has no idea it exists. Way to go Gavin.

At least he can still enjoy going for a drive after 7 beers maaaaaaaan

"Video games are lame and for children"

"Drunk driving is awesome! It's just like playing a video game!"

He's a fucking tool.

Hopefully a tree sneaks up on him while driving.

Who are you again, oh yeah that's right a REAL NOBODY

You're a bore.

You're a bore.