Schumer used to be a hot, careless, slutty babe with a great sense of humor. As she gained weight, she lost her self-confidence and generally started being a SJW thundercunt.
I was waiting for her to extrapolate that into something that mattered but she is literally talking about how she has a hard time picking out clothes. The fact that the 'feminist movement' is focusing on women who eat so much that they have trouble putting on a fucking shirt is beyond pathetic. Fucking lose weight or buy larger clothes you useless cunt
She has a hard time picking out clothes because her waist has been growing at the same rate as her celebrity.
She has made an incredible heel turn. She started out as the dirty female comic that guys liked, and being fuckable sure didn't hurt. Now that she has found fame and lost self control she turns into this.
My advice to Amy: Invest is clothes with elastic waistbands, they will last you for at least 2 more binges.
Or just change her addiction to drugs for a while, like every other girl in Hollywood for fucks sake. It would be a few months of fun, she would lighten the fuck up, she might have a minor TMZ scandal where she loses some of her ivory-tower horseshit, it would be good for her.
It's not a hard equation to figure out Amy, you Leno-faced Snorlax.
The Jenny Crank diet would be more effective. She could drop 30 in a month. And hopefully lose some of that new self esteem that's making her unbearable.
What women will never understand is that, no matter how many hashtag campaigns they start and how much attention they bring to "body shaming," men are simply not as attracted to them. You can't rewire mens' brains with a social movement.
The equivalent for men would be bringing attention to the fact that millionaires that get more pussy than auto mechanics. It's just the way the world works, but if you point this out you're a sexist. Quit burning so many calories trying to raise awareness and go burn some actual fucking calories.
Also, not every woman can be attractive. That's not how genetics works. The progression of life in natural selection is that there is genetic variance, causing certain traits and physical attributes. These either persist over time through reproduction if determined to be desirable, or diminish.
If you were dealt a shitty hand and ended up with a 4/10 for a face and a not particularly stunning body, you know what you do? You fucking deal with it. Not everyone can have what they want. Grow the fuck up. There are MILLIONS of men that have a fucking ugly face and they will never once feel the love or feeling of attraction from anyone. You know what they do? They fucking learn a skill and live their life. You dont see them fucking complaining.
Next I'd like somebody to do a eugenics rant in the style of Bob Kelly. Duuuude, you got your genetic variance dude, ya got ya physical attributes, you're golden!
I know I'm not really attracted to 85 pound Somalian women with distended bellies like a beachball, but I don't want to offend the 23-year-old fashion bloggers in New York, so..
Okay, so here is where I was going to ironically put in one of the popular "AllWomenAreBeautiful" hashtags, but when I went googling for one this was the first article that turned up:
Featuring Amy fucking Schumer on item #2 sticking it to the patriarchy again with her wretched ent-face. If you have to think of your appearance as an offensive weapon that you can attach to a hashtag to give it weight, what does that really say about your appearance?
It's the poison dart frog theory. Because these broads look moderately shitty & guys aren't beating their doors down to fuck them to begin with - they can reclaim some sexual power by just going full hog in the looking terrible department. Now they can psychologically trick themselves into thinking "I'm controlling the fact that I look like a thing no one wants to be with". Guys know to stay away, the way you know to avoid a frog that looks like a Lite Brite. It's reverse peacocking...Peacunting.
[Insert name of any woman] might be a free-thinking empowered woman, but she's still a bag of soup and chemicals like the rest of us, and a straight woman's most imperative desire on earth is to have this do this to her.
When that ain't ever happening to her (despite being told shes a princess everyday of her childhood), the same stress hormones and nervous-system alarms start firing up inside of them that would also happen inside any other mammal put into similar circumstances. Like a captive whale that hasn't lived it's proper life outside of a tank and has been driven mad by it, the modern frumpy-woman-turned-feminist doubles-down on her unattractiveness to preserve a sense of personal pride visible only to themselves. Yet they all have to privately endure and struggle every day against the internal whirlwind of biological cues that every mammal is subject to; so their glorification of ugliness actually starts to make their mental-state worsen, they subsequently get angrier with themselves and with the world, until one day girls like Amy SNAP like Shamu and kill the man bringing them buckets of crab to gorge on.
Doesn't incel mean involuntarily celibate? I stay away from those fuckers but thought the whole thing was "I don't get laid and decided to blame the world instead of improving myself or accepting my situation and dating equally ugly people".
I skipped to a random spot in this video. Why is this interviewer talking so fucking slow? Does she really believe she's asking a powerful icon the most important question on the planet or is she just retarded?
Jesus. Christ. That was ROUGH. I'm nauseous with a headache, but I did it. I watched it wire to wire. I tried to convince myself that it was because I wanted to make sure it wasn't a parody and I was being trolled, but in my heart of hearts, I knew the truth. I knew early on it was real. I must be a masochist. I used to like her comedy, but now, nothing is certain... I want to like her, I do... And those obnoxious gerber baby facial expressions... Ughh. Why do so many things that once seemed good turn to shit?
I hope reincarnation is real and she is reborn as some African who gets her clit cut off and sold to a warlord shaman who wears it around his neck for sexual potency.
No no, I don't think Gavin McInnes would agree with your conclusions at all.
In fact, this video is just another crucial piece of evidence in his theory of why the Roman Catholic God exists and why Gavin must go dip his babies in Gods fetid bowl of stinkwater.
They're really not, though. The faces of Hollywood are still the attractive starlets just as it has always been. Your Jennifer Lawrences, Angelina Jolies, Kim Kardashians, Scarlett Johanssons, etc. They're the ones who matter. Always have, always will.
Just because obnoxious piggy girls like Amy Shumer and Lena Dunham are causing scenes and yelling at people to look at them doesn't make them the stars. They're the female equivalent of, say, the Jackass crew. Sure, those guys could go to some event and Steve-O could staple his balls to his asshole and Party Boy could grind on a celebrity, but the ones who still matter are George Clooney and Brad Pitt.
Fat piggies doing annoying shit and claiming its feminism will garner attention and people will say "You go girl!," sure, but the general American consciousness is still focused on the beautiful stars with the perfect faces and flawless bodies whom we all want to be. We're naturally attracted to beauty and we will always put that ahead of what a handful of people are saying is important.
I actually enjoyed the interview. Ain't nothing wrong about showing a vulnerable side to yourself. She's human just like the rest of us. I don't understand all the hate and backlash.
Turned it off after 20 seconds. Why is she bloviating about the "empowerment" of clothes? Everything she says now is so calculated and every word feels like it's been rehearsed for maximum pc points. She is acting so self-important, it's disgusting. Makes me wonder if she even wrote all of that old roast material herself.
It's the patriarchy's fault that men have been conditioned to not be attracted to fat ugly chicks. You see, they expect women to be "stick-figure" models, not "real" women like that Lumpy Dunham and Weigh-Me Schumer. So it's OUR fault that they can't control their impulses and hide their self-loathing by snarfing down tubs of Cool Whip right before bed.
88 comments
61 smelllikespleensyrup 2015-12-30
Amy may be the first time a woman has become less funny and uglier at the same time
20 RoadblockCharlie 2015-12-30
Social Justice. Not even once.
2 Hastilygrim 2015-12-30
I would fuck her.
1 Beavis_vs_theFeds 2015-12-30
Schumer used to be a hot, careless, slutty babe with a great sense of humor. As she gained weight, she lost her self-confidence and generally started being a SJW thundercunt.
All she's good for now is roasting on a spit.
37 CCRed95 2015-12-30
I was waiting for her to extrapolate that into something that mattered but she is literally talking about how she has a hard time picking out clothes. The fact that the 'feminist movement' is focusing on women who eat so much that they have trouble putting on a fucking shirt is beyond pathetic. Fucking lose weight or buy larger clothes you useless cunt
12 netryeder 2015-12-30
She has a hard time picking out clothes because her waist has been growing at the same rate as her celebrity.
She has made an incredible heel turn. She started out as the dirty female comic that guys liked, and being fuckable sure didn't hurt. Now that she has found fame and lost self control she turns into this.
My advice to Amy: Invest is clothes with elastic waistbands, they will last you for at least 2 more binges.
2 whydontUlovemeLyndsi 2015-12-30
Or just change her addiction to drugs for a while, like every other girl in Hollywood for fucks sake. It would be a few months of fun, she would lighten the fuck up, she might have a minor TMZ scandal where she loses some of her ivory-tower horseshit, it would be good for her.
It's not a hard equation to figure out Amy, you Leno-faced Snorlax.
2 JesusLesnar 2015-12-30
Just a lil heroin, just a lil bit
1 lightmeup8 2015-12-30
The Jenny Crank diet would be more effective. She could drop 30 in a month. And hopefully lose some of that new self esteem that's making her unbearable.
9 russelldalrymple 2015-12-30
What women will never understand is that, no matter how many hashtag campaigns they start and how much attention they bring to "body shaming," men are simply not as attracted to them. You can't rewire mens' brains with a social movement.
The equivalent for men would be bringing attention to the fact that millionaires that get more pussy than auto mechanics. It's just the way the world works, but if you point this out you're a sexist. Quit burning so many calories trying to raise awareness and go burn some actual fucking calories.
Or go be funny again.
11 CCRed95 2015-12-30
Also, not every woman can be attractive. That's not how genetics works. The progression of life in natural selection is that there is genetic variance, causing certain traits and physical attributes. These either persist over time through reproduction if determined to be desirable, or diminish.
If you were dealt a shitty hand and ended up with a 4/10 for a face and a not particularly stunning body, you know what you do? You fucking deal with it. Not everyone can have what they want. Grow the fuck up. There are MILLIONS of men that have a fucking ugly face and they will never once feel the love or feeling of attraction from anyone. You know what they do? They fucking learn a skill and live their life. You dont see them fucking complaining.
12 TheFans4Life 2015-12-30
Your last paragraph is some real Regular Joe type stuff.
16 CCRed95 2015-12-30
Another day, another dollar. You give me a container of coffee im workin'
8 whydontUlovemeLyndsi 2015-12-30
Ahhh, whaddayou know.. I call him/you Regular Dick Dawkins.
Next I'd like somebody to do a eugenics rant in the style of Bob Kelly. Duuuude, you got your genetic variance dude, ya got ya physical attributes, you're golden!
3 Flamgirlant 2015-12-30
https://youtu.be/aUgQPzq6ifc
4 CCRed95 2015-12-30
great clip, it really is true.
"awww"
"go fuck one of them then, solve the problem"
"...nahh"
5 Pterodiculous 2015-12-30
This is truly an important issue. I would ask women in Somalia or Iraq how they cope with ill fitting outfits. ILLUMINATI CONFIRMED.
3 TheFatMosque 2015-12-30
but I don't think those women in Somalia or Iraq need to cope with ill fitting outfits
2 whydontUlovemeLyndsi 2015-12-30
I know I'm not really attracted to 85 pound Somalian women with distended bellies like a beachball, but I don't want to offend the 23-year-old fashion bloggers in New York, so..
Okay, so here is where I was going to ironically put in one of the popular "AllWomenAreBeautiful" hashtags, but when I went googling for one this was the first article that turned up:
http://hellogiggles.com/9-hashtags-make-us-proud-women/
Featuring Amy fucking Schumer on item #2 sticking it to the patriarchy again with her wretched ent-face. If you have to think of your appearance as an offensive weapon that you can attach to a hashtag to give it weight, what does that really say about your appearance?
-2 Pterodiculous 2015-12-30
Oh shit... That's right.
23 Houghton91 2015-12-30
I've never understood what is so empowering about admittedly looking like shit.
22 TheAmazingPearl 2015-12-30
It's the poison dart frog theory. Because these broads look moderately shitty & guys aren't beating their doors down to fuck them to begin with - they can reclaim some sexual power by just going full hog in the looking terrible department. Now they can psychologically trick themselves into thinking "I'm controlling the fact that I look like a thing no one wants to be with". Guys know to stay away, the way you know to avoid a frog that looks like a Lite Brite. It's reverse peacocking...Peacunting.
3 whydontUlovemeLyndsi 2015-12-30
[Insert name of any woman] might be a free-thinking empowered woman, but she's still a bag of soup and chemicals like the rest of us, and a straight woman's most imperative desire on earth is to have this do this to her.
When that ain't ever happening to her (despite being told shes a princess everyday of her childhood), the same stress hormones and nervous-system alarms start firing up inside of them that would also happen inside any other mammal put into similar circumstances. Like a captive whale that hasn't lived it's proper life outside of a tank and has been driven mad by it, the modern frumpy-woman-turned-feminist doubles-down on her unattractiveness to preserve a sense of personal pride visible only to themselves. Yet they all have to privately endure and struggle every day against the internal whirlwind of biological cues that every mammal is subject to; so their glorification of ugliness actually starts to make their mental-state worsen, they subsequently get angrier with themselves and with the world, until one day girls like Amy SNAP like Shamu and kill the man bringing them buckets of crab to gorge on.
2 GayNiggerFag 2015-12-30
She really is the pioneer of Peacunting
1 youre_not_oppressed 2015-12-30
Ah. So it is denial like those incel fuckers. "I don't get laid because I choose not to get laid."
1 Abimor-BehindYou 2015-12-30
Doesn't incel mean involuntarily celibate? I stay away from those fuckers but thought the whole thing was "I don't get laid and decided to blame the world instead of improving myself or accepting my situation and dating equally ugly people".
21 [deleted] 2015-12-30
[deleted]
29 TotesMessenger 2015-12-30
I'm a bot, bleep, bloop. Someone has linked to this thread from another place on reddit:
If you follow any of the above links, please respect the rules of reddit and don't vote in the other threads. (Info / Contact)
7 buckleupbuck 2015-12-30
Everyone upvote this to the top...thanks to srs this deleted comment can live forever
4 imnotgood86 2015-12-30
shhh no one tell them that hes a 60 year old man that just recently beat up his 20 something girlfriend
2 BrainPainter 2015-12-30
Oh boy!
-4 TriangleDimes 2015-12-30
IT'S HAPPENING
-3 ESP_Eclipse 2015-12-30
1 more day!
-5 TriangleDimes 2015-12-30
MOST REACTIONARY SUB OF 2015
2 [deleted] 2015-12-30
[deleted]
2 XxEpicTacosxX 2015-12-30
Watch out, those dang SRS are gonna get you good!
-7 [deleted] 2015-12-30
[deleted]
-5 ABoxOfWine 2015-12-30
yes good job topkek on the world-class artisan rape joke, my fine gentlsir. tips fedora
-12 youre_not_oppressed 2015-12-30
Fat chicks put up a good fight, I tell you what.
-17 xXK4ND3NXx 2015-12-30
ah, a manchild baby, just like the people you sit and jerk off to.
-2 TokyoRoyalty 2015-12-30
In all possible sincerity that I can muster, kys.
-4 TriangleDimes 2015-12-30
Hey SRS, which gets you more erect, the man part or the child part?
-5 [deleted] 2015-12-30
No no you've got it all wrong. It's the using a website that makes them butthurt part.
1 [deleted] 2015-12-30
[deleted]
21 jataylorlfc 2015-12-30
She looks like a Halloween costume
1 breadmoccasin 2015-12-30
Haha I was just thinking she looked like the evil painting from Ghostbusters 2 when it possessed Dan Akroyd.
1 youre_not_oppressed 2015-12-30
She looks like she should be churning butter and washing floors.
18 Anarox 2015-12-30
wasen't this bitch all about making fun of this shit in "inside shumer" and all of her standup. FFS
18 DisappointedGiraffe 2015-12-30
Yeah but she didnt write any of it
7 Anarox 2015-12-30
oh really, that does make sense
11 Ant_Sucks 2015-12-30
Struggling with the "challenge" of how to dress yourself - this is why progressives are more like children than they're like adults.
Einstein kept 7 versions of the same suit in a warddrobe to solve exactly this problem. That's one of the reasons he was Einstein.
10 Binski13 2015-12-30
Strong,brave,beautiful, and above all else. Real.
8 onemancrimespree 2015-12-30
Check out all the upvoted comments at the bottom.
Women are faggots.
1 HonkeyDong 2015-12-30
A contemptuous, burdensome woman is an etymological slang for the word faggot. So you're right. Women are faggots.
7 sumant28 2015-12-30
She's just so brave and the fact that she has a cunt really engages me emotionally
-her fanbase probably
7 TheAmazingPearl 2015-12-30
I mean this quite literally; I turned it off after 4 seconds. Empowerment of women through fashion....YUCK!
2 bugbombs 2015-12-30
I closed the tab as soon as I read the title of the video in its entirety
6 KingTutsstache 2015-12-30
I've never heard any other stand-up play the victim like this sufferable, inbred, bovine CUNT.
6 Flamgirlant 2015-12-30
I skipped to a random spot in this video. Why is this interviewer talking so fucking slow? Does she really believe she's asking a powerful icon the most important question on the planet or is she just retarded?
8 FistSmasher 2015-12-30
She has no idea what she's trying to ask
1 TriangleDimes 2015-12-30
"Weight... feminism.... empowerment... opportunities?"
6 Pterodiculous 2015-12-30
Jesus. Christ. That was ROUGH. I'm nauseous with a headache, but I did it. I watched it wire to wire. I tried to convince myself that it was because I wanted to make sure it wasn't a parody and I was being trolled, but in my heart of hearts, I knew the truth. I knew early on it was real. I must be a masochist. I used to like her comedy, but now, nothing is certain... I want to like her, I do... And those obnoxious gerber baby facial expressions... Ughh. Why do so many things that once seemed good turn to shit?
5 BoardroomBimmy 2015-12-30
I hope reincarnation is real and she is reborn as some African who gets her clit cut off and sold to a warlord shaman who wears it around his neck for sexual potency.
4 whydontUlovemeLyndsi 2015-12-30
No no, I don't think Gavin McInnes would agree with your conclusions at all.
In fact, this video is just another crucial piece of evidence in his theory of why the Roman Catholic God exists and why Gavin must go dip his babies in Gods fetid bowl of stinkwater.
1 Phantas_Magorical 2015-12-30
shhhhhhhh this is about Amy, we hate Amy
6 whydontUlovemeLyndsi 2015-12-30
We hate pretty much everyone
5 BoardroomBimmy 2015-12-30
Not Collin
3 spacejamisraw 2015-12-30
ugh what a fucking frump
3 Leeham721 2015-12-30
If she was just legs I'd be a fan.
15 CCRed95 2015-12-30
Youd enjoy /r/AverageToSomewhatBelowAverageImagesOfLegs
3 dakkar1 2015-12-30
that fat fuck and lena dumham who is also is disgusting fucking slob are the new faces of hollywood? for fucks sake that is disgusting.
3 BoardroomBimmy 2015-12-30
They're really not, though. The faces of Hollywood are still the attractive starlets just as it has always been. Your Jennifer Lawrences, Angelina Jolies, Kim Kardashians, Scarlett Johanssons, etc. They're the ones who matter. Always have, always will.
Just because obnoxious piggy girls like Amy Shumer and Lena Dunham are causing scenes and yelling at people to look at them doesn't make them the stars. They're the female equivalent of, say, the Jackass crew. Sure, those guys could go to some event and Steve-O could staple his balls to his asshole and Party Boy could grind on a celebrity, but the ones who still matter are George Clooney and Brad Pitt.
Fat piggies doing annoying shit and claiming its feminism will garner attention and people will say "You go girl!," sure, but the general American consciousness is still focused on the beautiful stars with the perfect faces and flawless bodies whom we all want to be. We're naturally attracted to beauty and we will always put that ahead of what a handful of people are saying is important.
2 TakeMeXenu 2015-12-30
Obtain fire, kill.
2 acidicjazzhead 2015-12-30
I actually enjoyed the interview. Ain't nothing wrong about showing a vulnerable side to yourself. She's human just like the rest of us. I don't understand all the hate and backlash.
1 [deleted] 2015-12-30
[deleted]
1 BecauseWeHaveNukes88 2015-12-30
I hope your dick busts like a water ballon for posting this drivel!
1 Suarezteeth 2015-12-30
On the other hand, pigs do indeed exist.
1 [deleted] 2015-12-30
[deleted]
1 [deleted] 2015-12-30
[deleted]
1 mayomayomayomayomayo 2015-12-30
I'd like to spread mustard on those legs and enjoy them with some mashed potatoes and steamed baby carrots.
1 dudemarama 2015-12-30
Never thought she was that ugly but damn.
1 jfral 2015-12-30
The beautiful industry people are going to cast her out like the trollop she is once her profitability wanes.
0 justchippinyaaaa 2015-12-30
Jesus those legs weird me out. Look like a couple hams.
0 Yousirnames76534577 2015-12-30
The imaginary cab driver is now denying she jerked him off.
0 Z-Tay 2015-12-30
Turned it off after 20 seconds. Why is she bloviating about the "empowerment" of clothes? Everything she says now is so calculated and every word feels like it's been rehearsed for maximum pc points. She is acting so self-important, it's disgusting. Makes me wonder if she even wrote all of that old roast material herself.
0 BoardroomBimmy 2015-12-30
Well you see, when Ms. Shumer writes roast material she does it in a character.
0 TheMaddLib 2015-12-30
lipstick on a pig.
0 Stud_beaner_69 2015-12-30
Please, everyone give this drek a thumbs done
0 pickledpancreas 2015-12-30
It's the patriarchy's fault that men have been conditioned to not be attracted to fat ugly chicks. You see, they expect women to be "stick-figure" models, not "real" women like that Lumpy Dunham and Weigh-Me Schumer. So it's OUR fault that they can't control their impulses and hide their self-loathing by snarfing down tubs of Cool Whip right before bed.
0 mikestl1988 2015-12-30
Id rather have bamboo shoved under my fingernails than watch anymore than the 15 seconds I watched
0 danimalplanimal 2015-12-30
I'm sorry...I wanted to hate this so badly...but I literally couldn't make it past the first sentence and a half. I'm out.
-1 ApevonTarskin 2015-12-30
We should atop talking about Tit and start talking about Amy. She's an irresponsible celeb mindraping our innocent children.
-1 WeWuzKangz 2015-12-30
This is why we can't have nice things.
1 BoardroomBimmy 2015-12-30
Because Amy keeps eating all of them
-5 Clibanarius 2015-12-30
I love Amy and will defend her even if she does something unpopular.
2 bugbombs 2015-12-30
I closed the tab as soon as I read the title of the video in its entirety
-5 TriangleDimes 2015-12-30
MOST REACTIONARY SUB OF 2015