I can't get a girlfriend because I have a shit personality but I'm going to jerk off to your story.

ctrl+f --> "peckah", got a false positive

aids

You will never do any better than her.

But is she hot? And more importantly, if she's hot, post some pictures.

So she's single now?

I had a 17 year old who claimed she'd had a abortion of our kid once but she made it all up.

But i was 17 too so it's not as sleazy as Ants life.

She's dead now.

one time me and my friend fucked this real classy broad on the same night, and about four years later he was hitting on her again via text and she told him that one of us got her pregnant and she had an abortion. I was the only one that busted inside her (told me she couldn't get pregnant because of medical condition) so it almost certainly had to be me. brings my total to 3. they call me the baby-killin keeeeid.

2 more and you level up.

damn this is a hard fucking game. been running the gauntlet just to get 3 :(

Pro tip: When you get to 10 you need to throw your pregnant gf down these stairs with enough force that she reaches the bottom in one throw. IGNORE the escalator - it is a ruse. I can confirm that this is the only way to beat the boss level.

hahaha. wish I had something clever to say. some funny shit

Nice - glad I got you to laugh. That's the fun part of this place for me, though of course most jokes fall flat.

cough I mean go fuck yourself.

haha same to you sir

You'll have a tiny cute army ...in hell.

I don't think aborted fetuses have ever been described as "cute", probably more like a tiny and horrifically depressing army. but "eye of the beholder" etc etc

One here bruh

And I eat them all! :)

I had an ex say the exact same thing. I don't know what her endgame was.

She's dead now.

That escalated quite quickly...

So did her car. OHHHHHHHHHHH SHIT

Guess the only thing you can do is end it, and hope she doesn’t take it out on your car.

Or accuse you of something else that's unprovable but you'll otherwise take the heat for.

did a video of you smacking her go viral too?

TL;DR: PECKAHS

[deleted]

I’m sure you peckas have your own crazy girlfriend stories.

Yeah totally got loads of stories about that sort of thing.

I was the sad-sack loser that helped some chick move cross-country because I wanted to get some of that magical vagina. I drove the truck for her, loaded it up, I even wrote the check for the deposit when she (surprise) "couldn't find her checkbook."

She was treating the movers like shit, and I called her out on it. She calmly walked over to the phone, after the movers had left, and called 911 on me. She tried to have me arrested for hitting her, when I hadn't touched her at all. (In hindsight, I guess it's good that we didn't have sex, she could have played that card.)

This was in CA, and amazingly enough, nothing happened to me. I think it helped that the movers backed me up, and were prepared to confirm my story. I think it also helped that she was shitting all over the cops, and I was cool and collected.

One thing I should mention, this wasn't an abusive relationship in any way. She just had no moral compass and she lied to the cops. She's literally the wealthiest person I know, and a big part of how she got there was by lying and cheating her way. She's quite successful in her career actually!

you've been fired, get drunk, and get into arguments with your white trash girlfriend?

[deleted]