So there's a few legit lawyers in this sub, lets have an open and honest discussion about DV law

0  2015-12-20 by carribbeanjimmy

These charges are serious and aren't going anywhere for a while. We have a couple lawyers here who can correct me, but a common technique if there's evidence against you is to delay. "My client has stayed out of trouble for ___ amount of time, complied with all restrictions, completed a rehab program etc". So unless there's proof to exonerate him, why would you rush to trial or a plea? He makes several pre-trial "Good faith" gestures to weigh in his favor and wait until the heat dies down and the media forgets about him. Lawyers please correct me, i took a business law class once, and got arrested a few times, thats the extent of my knowledge of our confusing criminal justice system. I'd like to hear hypothetical strategies. I've never been in involved in a domestic, so how do you go about that?

20 comments

11  Spokker 2015-12-20

Lawyer here.

A lot of evidence in your past can be used against you when you commit a crime. For example, his radio bits in which he talked about domestic violence years ago can be used today to incriminate him. His DNA can be tested to look for violent Sicilian genes.

Further, a judge may check his privilege by inserting a probe into his asshole. If he has too much privilege, the verdict will be guilty. And if there's a double whammy decision, he could get the death penalty.

7  TobyTheRobot 2015-12-20

Lol I started reading this post by furrowing my brow and thinking "Wait a minute -- prior acts evidence is actually a fairly complex area with a lot of nuances."

A few sentences later I realized I'm a chode.

1  carribbeanjimmy 2015-12-20

Oh god, that sounds serious

1  CumiasTheBeesKnees 2015-12-20

Dis guy knows his peckas!!

0  silks322 2015-12-20

Peckahs

7  A_lad_insane_bowie 2015-12-20

Ant's gets sentenced to 3 years hard labor on a southern California ranch where he shoots guns, drinks beer, and loses his virginity to an older woman.

1  carribbeanjimmy 2015-12-20

So like, he has to fuck a 65 year old? He'd probably opt for prison

5  Patricki 2015-12-20

Law student here. This guy lays out the short and skinny of it here:

https://www.reddit.com/r/opieandanthony/comments/3xm136/im_an_attorney_in_nyc_lets_break_this_down/

Our Tunisian's knife fighting days are far from over.

1  carribbeanjimmy 2015-12-20

Yes, thank you sir, I didn't realize he had posted that. The answers i received here seem like they are from less than credible attorneys. The consumer guy is a good egg

3  Justincaseofshadowba 2015-12-20

Not a lawyer but spent quite a bit of time standing next to them in court.

1  carribbeanjimmy 2015-12-20

Same here, everyone says lawyers are assholes but they're really friendly when you pay them $5,000, I mean you're still gonna be guilty dude, and that sucks bro, but I tried my best man?

1  TobyTheRobot 2015-12-20

Same here, everyone says lawyers are assholes but they're really friendly when you pay them $5,000. I mean you're still gonna be guilty dude, and that sucks bro, but I tried my best man?

We ain't sorcerers. In most criminal cases, the defendant did it, there's a lot of evidence so-indicating, and the police didn't make any obvious screw-ups that allow us to exclude evidence necessary to convict you. And we're standing in between the judge and the defendant shrugging our shoulders like "Whaddaya want from me!?"

1  carribbeanjimmy 2015-12-20

That was exactly my point. If you're guilty, you're guilty. You do know how to request motions and agreements that offer the best possible outcome for a guilty person. So I don't shit on most lawyers, it's a tricky business. Hypothetically, I had a lawyer who knew the ADA who had the case was about to transfer, he said "Lets get this taken of today". Basically, you don't give a shit what happens to him, he's not a threat to society, lets solve this. Boom, plea bargain to a violation and a fine. Lawyers aren't bad people and they get shit done

1  TobyTheRobot 2015-12-20

You're a good egg. Anyways, I still have $1,000 of this retainer that I haven't billed out yet. C'mere -- lemmie show ya how to kiss.

1  carribbeanjimmy 2015-12-20

No Toby, I told you I don't want to play Turkey-foot anymore, you took all my money and I cant afford another lawyer!

1  TobyTheRobot 2015-12-20

I thought ya LIKED YA FEET TOIKEYED!!!! Pack a LIIIES!!!!

1  SkepticSloth 2015-12-20

It's gonna cost him a little bit more dan dat.

1  carribbeanjimmy 2015-12-20

Oh definitely, I was speaking from personal experience and I was making $35k a year at the time (righteous bucks) so it was a sizable chunk of my income. Nassau is an expensive county in general compared to the rest of the country, I'm sure he's shelling out 5-6 digit numbers when all is said and done, even if he's completely innocent just to make it go away.

1  CumiasTheBeesKnees 2015-12-20

I'm betting he's going to have to use the classic yet time tested "Chewbacca" defense.

https://youtu.be/xwdba9C2G14

1  gbdave 2015-12-20

Ant will undoubtedly be using the Schwartz to play mind tricks on the judge.

1  carribbeanjimmy 2015-12-20

Same here, everyone says lawyers are assholes but they're really friendly when you pay them $5,000, I mean you're still gonna be guilty dude, and that sucks bro, but I tried my best man?