Doug Stanhope has something to say about Amy Schumer

179  2015-12-12 by Ant_Sucks

136 comments

Doug Stanhope is a delightful man.

I don't know dude. I heard he has herpes.

WHERE DID YOU HEAR THAT

...

That was my poor attempt at a joke, its like the 4th word in the tweet

Right. Hence my comment.

You are a disgrace.

I'll take it.

Can someone explain how Trainwreck got nominated for ANY award? It's literally every Judd Apatow movie ever made, only with the man and woman swapping roles.

It's a funny idea that could fuel a really good SNL sketch, but a 2h movie? Once I caught on to the formula 10 minutes in, I was able to predict every twist, turn and joke to come.

I don't get how movies get nominated for stuff. It's got to be who you know and who owes you favors.

Jews.

Blacks and Jews.

blacks and jews

And feminists.

[deleted]

blews?

No, that's what your mother does to homeless guys.

They needed the MOneey

Let's not put them in the same category. At least Jews have talent

Where does Lorne Michaels and his band of merry men fit in? Fey, Baldwin, Fallon, Myers, etc. Because I am definitely seeing camps here, just not sure if religion is behind it; or just friendships. Aren't most of them Catholic?

Oh, you mean Lorne Lipowitz?

Holy crap, they really do own everything.

Michaels isn't his real name. He's also a jew.

you're kidding!

Because the protagonist is a Jewish comedienne. This isn't rocket science.

Didn't Sarah Silverman recently get a nomination for her latest role too? The one she was nude in?

What does it say that the one film you got the nom for is the one you stripped for?

Everything is so Jewish in show business.

Zionist conspiracy imo

(we're so going to be the No. 1 toxic board this year)

If that SAND NIGGER Allah has anything to say about it

Not cool man.

I'm here to win most toxic sub, not make friends.

Yeah Allah us should CHIP in and make this sub toxic. Like the avenger. GET IT?

[deleted]

Ahh. I see. Carry on.

Conspiracy is too strong a word. But bias? How can any objective person not see it? Compare the proportion of Jews in positions worth occupying vs their proportion among the population at large. It's clear they're holding the door for one another. But why are they doing that when most of them aren't even religious? They don't even have THAT in common. It's just, like, an unspoken pact. This "it's us against the world" thing that's difficult to ignore.

Put another way : a Jewish man with a minimum of ambition would have to be the biggest jerk on the planet (ie, burned every bridge imaginable) to be stuck cleaning toilets his whole life, if he lives in NYC or LA. Otherwise, someone, somewhere, is holding a door for him.

"This 'it's us against the world' thing that's difficult to ignore."

Seriously. I mean, what has the world done to the Jews to warrant that sort of mentality? Right?

The jews have done exactly what others accuse blacks of NOT doing - taking control of their own destiny and working together as a cohesive group to overcome their own historical disadvantages. Jews deserve a ton of respect in that regard.

Yeah but jews have white privilege. All they gotta do is change their name and get a nose job and they're as gentile as the rest of us. Blackies, they're stuck with their race. Unless they're as rich and as crazy as Michael Jackson. But who is?

You could also look at it as Jews having the historic advantage that they were permitted to practise usury with non-Jews where Christians and Muslims could not.

Nice stretch, Armstrong.

I'll take not being massacred and terrorized for millenia over having unique money-lending opportunities pretty much any fucking day.

Besides, whenever the Jews of a given region accrued enough wealth via said money-lending, they were promptly murdered and/or exiled and their money was taken away from them.

Everybody was massacred and terrorized for millenia. Nice Jewish exceptionalism though.

Go read my post regarding anyone who experiences millennia of masscres and terrorism being justified in doing far more than the Jews have done to survive (and they have), then go fuck your mother.

Nice anti-semitism though.

I respect it. I'm just not blind to it. Or how they accomplished it.

You're essentially saying "Why aren't other religions banding together and blocking outsiders out of their circles like Jews are? It works!"

Endure millennia of murder, exile and persecution. Band together and support each other in order to fend off said murder, exile and persecution. Be accused of exclusionism. Seems reasonable.

Are you trolling me, or are you really that fucking stupid?

Whatever traits you wish to ascribe to the Jews must be taken in context. The world made them what they are. It tried pounding them into dust against an anvil, and ended up forging a blade - a miniscule group of people with astonishing power, influence, and endurance.

And to reply to your last point, yes, if/when any other race of people endures the horrors that the Jews have, they are absolutely justified in propping each other up in order to survive. Sorry that the Jews didn't just take it lying down and vanish from history for the sake of not hurting your fucking feelings.

But look at it this way: at least people like you now have a scapegoat to blame all your life's failings and inadequacies on.

Holy crap, that is a shitload of butthurt to bring to the table.

I yield! You are right, whatever you're ranting on about. I just do not care enough about your opinion to follow you this far into emoville.

White flag! You right, me wrong.

Yeah, it's just a form of nepotism. But point it out and you're goddamn Hitler.

I think you're blowing things too out of proportion - you act like there are thousands of Jews making billions of dollars in Hollywood - it's just a handful, at the top. Being a Jew is not a free ticket to stardom and wealth, especially in action and on the production side. Not these days. Back in the gold era, hell yes. They were notorious for supporting "the tribe", but it's not anything like that now. There is, I will admit, a "He's one of us" attitude with some of them.

Hollywood is too splintered now, with too many independents and smaller film companies existing - the money guys are not all Jews, either - the old school Hollywood crowd was, but the current leadership, not so much. It's there, it's unspoken, but it's not nearly as powerful as you might think. Not like back in the day, during the big studio days.

A handful at the top? Of the sixty senior executives of the major Hollywood studios, trade unions, and talent agencies, fifty are Jews or have Jewish spouses. This is a numerical representation of 83%. Jews are approximately 2% of the U.S. population.* Therefore Jews are over-represented among the senior executives of the major Hollywood studios, trade unions, and talent agencies by a factor of 41.5 times(4,150 percent).

I think you're blowing things too out of proportion - you act like there are thousands of Jews making billions of dollars in Hollywood - it's just a handful, at the top.

I rest my case. There is a disproportionate number of Jews in power in America when compared to the population. You put the finger right on the problem and asked what the problem was. Jews don't like when we start bringing up how many of them there are in the world. Because it makes the nepotism and holding-the-door-for-your-similars more obvious.

Get it?

[deleted]

We will sweep the Toxies.

I google imaged that. Not too shabby.

Gun control, bro.

I hate the word "comedienne". It reminds me of when a Free Mason called the show (couldn't timestamp, it's around 00:12:00) and said that they accept black people, but give them a special name.

Especially since "actress" is now apparently sexist. People are learning to say "actor" for both sexes; so all this effort to distinguish the "comedienne" from the comedian may be for naught in the long run. Especially with so many men wishing to be identified as women, and vice versa, going forward. It's going to become a nightmare to identify the sexes through the title.

Sometimes I get the feeling the outraged have no idea what to be outraged about anymore. It's like outrage overstepping on outrage.

They are already eating their own. It's delicious.

Sometimes I get the feeling the outraged have no idea what to be outraged about anymore.

What, you mean like SJWs calling for the banning of ableist language?

I learned that special word from Ant

She's the jew du jour right now.

Lena Dunham is half Jewish and gets awards for fucking black guys, getting nude, and being the shape of a bowling pin—like Amy.

Didn't she also finger rape her little sister as children?

Yes she did but it's okay it was for the greater good.

Yup, for ten years straight.

No, but she got finger-raped by a dirty Arab cab driver.

No no. LENA finger fucked her kid sister

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Exactly.

Yeah, I was blown away with how predictable it was. I knew Amy's jokes would suck but I thought since it was Judd itd have some kinda new take but it was literally just a by the numbers Rom com with the same game of thrones penis joke in like 6 places

Give it time, she will burnout and American media will move on.

She got nominated for one reason: Judd Apatow. They're selling DVS and Blurays with it. That's what the awards show are for - selling movie tickets, discs, and online rentals. Always has been, always will be, the Golden Globes is a heavily lobbied group of journalists who do what the studios pay them to do - promote their movies. That's why Dicaprio's is nominated, before it's released - they sank a ton of money in it, and they want their return on that investment.

Judd makes Hollywood a lot of money, especially in disc and rental sales. Of course they nominated his movie. And yes, the movie is utter dreck, I fell asleep after 20 minutes, but long enough to see Amy can't act, at all.

Ignore it, or pirate it. They're just trying to sell you something with their awards.

At least for the Golden Globes it's the Hollywood Foreign Press and they're notoriously corrupt.

I just watched the movie tonight and noticed one of the jokes in the movie is almost word for word out of her first special on comedy central. The joke is about what pretentious girls do when they're suppose to be sleeping. It's fucking stupid.

did you see the promo for the Trainwreck dvd? When it says "hilarious bloopers", and shows an image of Amy "making waves" with her hand. It does NOT look funny at all.

That movie sucked badly. Only funny scenes involved Colin Quin. Amy Schumer blehh

Because when the leftards gave Amy the anti gun script, she read it like a good girl. It's called nepotism and cronyism.

(it was a bad movie with a few good jokes in it)

That's like some next level zen koan, Confucius type shit. Open to interpretation.

It really is. Could actually be a compliment.

Pretty sure it wasn't, though. Like the guy before me wrote, reads very Colin Quinnesque in the sarcasm dept.

Honestly I'm a little sick of the media nonsense around her. She's being used by the sjw media.

Or maybe Colin Quinnesque sarcasm? Who knows.

Doug may be the only real comedian in the world right now that doesn't suck her balls.

does the word "real" only mean people you agree with? what kind of tactless moron endorses realness above all else? it's retarded.

Most celebrities sugar coat their words and even hide their true thoughts in order to protect their image and career. Doug doesn't do that, which makes him honest, real and great. I don't remember saying realness is a quality that is above all else either, just above phoniness.

bullshit. his supposed "realness" is his career. he's as much of an fraud as everyone else. he's not going to say something that would jeopardise your admiration of him. also, why doesnt someone have the right to hide their true thoughts for their own gain? exhibitionism isnt an obligation.

Bullshit back. Stanhope is in a place where he doesn't need or want movie parts, he tours once in a while and sells albums, because he bought a cheap house out in the middle of bumfuck arizona, and doesn't give a fuck, his monthly nut is probably less than what most people spend on gas to commute.

I only think a couple comics are truly uncensored, and Doug is one of them. I've yet to see him act differently, if it's on his podcast, Rogans, on O&A, on any other show. He played himself when he was on Louis' show. If he's acting, then he's one of the best actors out there for the most consistent performance, ever - and should be in movies constantly.

One of his bits is maxing out his mother's credit cards after he helped her commit suicide, because she had a fatal disease. Do you you think he gives one fuck what some random guy on Reddit, or anywhere else, and their "admiration" of him?

He's giving Amy shit, because he doesn't give a fuck about being in movies with her or Apatow, or being on her show. He can tour for a month in the clubs and make enough to live on for a year. He's one of the few that can truly say "Fuck you" to Hollywood, and survive.

If he's a fraud, then he's one of the best frauds, ever. Epic, evil genius level.

He was my favorite part of Louie and I really dig that show.

No one is saying it's an obligation but its more interesting and entertaining than fake bullshit. Doug simply strikes me as someone that doesn't worry about being PC or protecting an image. Yes you have the right to hide your true feelings legally, but would you trust the word of someone like that?

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Above all else real.

You are a fucking idiot

i'm just being honest. not my fault if you can't handle the realness.

can someone explain what he means by this? English ain't my first language

He's mocking her PC, "accept all women" brand of feminist humour by applying its logic to something gross and male, which they obviously wouldn't accept, thus highlighting the inconsistencies within her point of view and that of her fellow PC feminist cuntfaces.

English is my first language and I have no idea still.

I believe he is saying that if Amy Schumer's awful comedy is so popular, then his awful penis has a chance too.

Could be referring to her heroic display of her rolls in that magazine shot.

I assume it has something to do with Amy being a fat cow and posing for that calendar

I think he is more saying that Amy's comedy is all about her fuckin guys and even though she is fat she can get any guy she wants and you can't call her a slut because what she is doing is empowering to women... it doesn't matter if she is fat and ugly.. she gets fucked all the time and that's empowering. Stanhope is saying "I have an ugly little STD riddled cock but I feel so empowered by Amy talking about her fat disgusting sex life that I have the confidence to walk around with my little STD dick hanging out for everyone to see... how empowering."

Nail on the head of a herpes-ridden penis.

sounds messy

That's what we call in England, "a subtle dig."

To be fair, that's pretty much all you guys do, though.

Shut up limey.

The fact that British Navy members chewed on limes so as to avoid scurvy, while conquering two thirds of the globe, has to be one of the shittiest "insults" ever bestowed on a nation. At least just call us rotten teethed faggots or something.

You know what you deserve to be called? Friend.

Thanks, chum.

heeeey ah! This guy right here!

2/3 or less than 1/4?
Clue: It's less than 1/4.

How dare you disrupt my nationalistic bombast with pedantic facts. Shame on you.

"Buggerer" is preferable - because they did that in the British Navy, too.

Eat shit, faggot.

Thank you. Hopefully your truck load is full of fuel. And you drive it into a tree.

Gasoline is combustible, not flammable, dipshit. Grow a brain.

So let's go with the spark of metal striking against wood and lighting your gasoline load. Purely for argument's sake. Plus your, obviously, big brain will add green, biodegradable fuel to the fire. Everyone's a winner.

*Petrol

and you can't grow a brain, numbskull

Of course you can, fucktard.

Kurt and Sherrod were right about the vile racism around here.

cant stand that uppity loud nigger sherrod

How manly and assertive. You must own a gun.

No my mom wouldn't allow that.

Oh goodness, that's fucking disgusting.

I will always be a Stanhope fan because he's never sold out or given a shit about trying to be something he's not. He's knows his place and lives it well. My Deadbeat Hero.

hope she ends up as hated as dane cook and cant understand why

I hope she blames it on misogyny.

Finally a comic going against the grain on this overrated whore. It's ridiculous how much she gets a pass from the exact people who should hate her.

Amy has responded on twitter:

"I LOVE Dougie. He's hilarious. I LOVE my fans. Peace out xx"

Challenge declined.

One of the only good comics left who I dont absolutely loathe. I think its down to attell and stanhope at this point. I deleted twitter because i hated seeing people I liked give me douche chills while I take a shit. Then I come to this sub and still get the highlights and feel the same way. Im gonna go kill myself.

no Colin?

Who are you callin jerry seinfeld or sump'n dvv dvvv dvvv

Stanhope, Nic Dipaolo, Anthony Cumia, Dave Attell, and Patrice are probably the most honest group of comedians in the last 20 years

Oh my thats glorious.. fucking glorious. Not long until some of the Schumer defending FAGGOTS on this sub start throwing their fat towels in

Hey, no need to bring the fatness of peoples towels in to this.That's uncalled for.

You prefer skinny towels? Why? They absorb far less water after a shower. Fat towels are the best, for people big or small.

Doug rules. Can't tell for sure what he means by this, though.

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"Big Fat" Amy Schumer

He would rather walk around proudly showing his herpe encrusted cock, because her showing her fat nasty body actually makes what Doug wants to do look reasonable.

I slow clapped for doug. I defended amy up until her look at me pictures of her celebrity friends on thanksgiving. That was disgusting. She is so desperate ....for what I don't know

The great thing about Stanhope he doesn't work in comedy clubs or has any ambition to make movies or tv so he has nothing to lose and can say whatever the fuck he wants without it hurting his career!

I have hair piece.

Blacks and Jews.

Where does Lorne Michaels and his band of merry men fit in? Fey, Baldwin, Fallon, Myers, etc. Because I am definitely seeing camps here, just not sure if religion is behind it; or just friendships. Aren't most of them Catholic?

Not cool man.

*Petrol

Endure millennia of murder, exile and persecution. Band together and support each other in order to fend off said murder, exile and persecution. Be accused of exclusionism. Seems reasonable.

Are you trolling me, or are you really that fucking stupid?

Whatever traits you wish to ascribe to the Jews must be taken in context. The world made them what they are. It tried pounding them into dust against an anvil, and ended up forging a blade - a miniscule group of people with astonishing power, influence, and endurance.

And to reply to your last point, yes, if/when any other race of people endures the horrors that the Jews have, they are absolutely justified in propping each other up in order to survive. Sorry that the Jews didn't just take it lying down and vanish from history for the sake of not hurting your fucking feelings.

But look at it this way: at least people like you now have a scapegoat to blame all your life's failings and inadequacies on.