So you essentially wrote a 10,000 word essay to reiterate shit that people say here everyday. Fuck it, you get an upvote for the effort anyways I guess.

[deleted]

There it is

[deleted]

Don't take Adderall at night, faggot.

Actually lold

[deleted]

"It's easy to call Anthony a racist. That label is easy. It always is. He says something calling out the hypocrisy of Al Sharpton or Jesse Jackson and dares to challenge the black community to do something about black-on-black crime and due to the current overly sensitive politically correct social climate, it's easy to say, "what a racist asshole""

Um, thats not why people call Ant a racist asshole...

[deleted]

Oh geez. Well, um, I think alot of it had to do with the ... ahem, you know.... racism

Your sarcasm structure is fucking heinous.

Nods and slowly backs out of the thread

[deleted]

....Im sorry, you have lost me. You mean the 'racist' label?

Cuck.

This is like one of those twilight episodes where the guy goes into the bathroom and comes out and everything is different. Then someone says "Yes, things sure have been different since Russia invaded in 1964".

Is anyone saying that Ant isnt racist? I mean, I dont give a fuck either way, im white, but is that what we are pretending?

Fuck it, ill play: Ant wasnt racist! he was fighting against racism and it got him fired!

You wrote this like you matter.

[deleted]

No peckahs? Not reading your drivel.

[deleted]

SHadUP tHeSE paRagRAPHs arE dRY

[deleted]

Your phone cut out ...what'd you just say?

I never liked Opie and I don't think you'll find many who do. He's an immature, insecure ass who stumbled upon greatness by surrounding himself with talented people. He is proficient technically as far as radio itself goes (working the boards, phones, keeping the show on topic, etc.) but rarely have I ever laughed from what he says or does.

That being said, Anthony Cumia and Jim Norton are two of the funniest people in entertainment, especially when they had each other to play off of. They both can rant with such biting social commentary that their anger is visceral and appealing. It's not just ranting with empty anger. It's cathartic for the listener to hear those two presenting rational, logical arguments with wit and dark humor involving anything from Terry Schiavo to Trayvon Martin to Al Sharpton to Jesse Ventura. In their best moments, they challenged liberals and conservatives alike and hold nothing up as so sacred that it can't be defiled or ridiculed. Anthony does hilarious impressions, from Dice to Reagan and Jimmy breaks into characters like Uncle Paul (which Opie hates), Average Joe and Chip Chipperson and gets away with expressing unpopular opinions by veiling them in the form of these personas, representing, respectively, child-touchers, good ol' 'Mericans, and self-unaware idiots everyone knows. I don't particularly enjoy Norton's stand-up, but he has made me laugh hysterically, by myself, in my car, and I owe him many thanks for turning many bad days into something less shitty.

It's easy to call Anthony a racist. That label is easy. It always is. He says something calling out the hypocrisy of Al Sharpton or Jesse Jackson and dares to challenge the black community to do something about black-on-black crime and due to the current overly sensitive politically correct social climate, it's easy to say, "what a racist asshole", but really he's just offering us an alternative to this softball, disingenuous commentary that everyone in the MSM panders to, lest they be labeled a racist asshole. And yes, then there are the comedians. Louis CK, Bill Burr, Amy Schumer, Patrice O'Neal. Long before they were known so well, they were right there in the studio, joking around with Anthony, Jim and to a lesser extent, Opie. Which brings me back around to Opie...

He is the reason all this was born and then squandered. He brought on Anthony when Anthony was just a regular guy working construction. He was smart enough to recognize this talent and he was, for a while at least, ok with Anthony outshining him at every turn. Then he brought on Norton as third mic and the three worked together for years to extend an alternative to the aging Howard Stern to Satellite radio. But Opie has an ego problem and that was eventually his downfall. It all became so apparent December 1, 2015. After Anthony was fired, Opie could've gone to bat for him, he could have put up more of a front to stand up to the bosses at Sirius to say, "if you fire him, I'm quitting." He talks all the time about fuck you money and now that he has it, he failed to say "fuck you". He wanted Anthony out and despite his limp-wristed attempt to supposedly talk to the bosses to reconsider, this is something he wanted. He let his personal problems with Anthony, whatever they were, to effectively end the show. There is no way any rational person could say that he did everything he could to save Anthony from the corporate axe. So then it was just Opie and Jimmy. I cancelled my subscription on July 7, 2014 because I knew without Anthony it would never be the same. And I haven't subscribed to Anthony's show because it would never be the same. And it's all Opie's fucking fault. Opie and his big stupid ego. So fuck you, Opie.

I am not short on words, so please bear with the length of this letter. Read on, gentle reader, and hear what I have to say. Opie's Tits asserts that governments should have the right to lie to their own subjects or to other governments. This fraud, this lie, is just one among the thousands they perpetrates.

Although this may come as a surprise to some readers, I've run into some distressing examples of confirmation bias among Opie's Tits's serfs. For instance, they allege that cannibalism, wife-swapping, and the murder of infants and the elderly are acceptable behavior. Interestingly, though, they fail to notice that Opie's Tits says that everyone would be a lot safer if it were to monitor all of our personal communications and financial transactions—even our library records. Why on Earth does Opie's Tits need to monitor our library records? That's the question that perplexes me the most because Opie's Tits has frequently been spotted making nicey-nice with peccable, disorderly rampallions. Is this because it needs their help to batten on the credulity of the ignorant? To turn that question around, what exactly is the principle that rationalizes its quarrelsome pronouncements? I don't pretend to know the answer, but I do know that it insists that a book's value to the reader is somehow influenced by the color of the author's skin. That lie is a transparent and strained effort to keep us from noticing that it is difficult to exaggerate the emotion and litigation that will flow from any efforts to snap its servitors out of their trance. One thing is certain, though: Opie's Tits is guilty of at least one criminal offense. In addition, it frequently exhibits less formal criminal behavior such as deliberate and even gleeful cruelty, explosive behavior, and a burning desire to rip off everyone and his brother.

If you want truth, you have to struggle for it. This letter represents my struggle, my attempt at challenging the soft bigotry of low expectations. It is also my soapbox for informing the community at large that some day, in the far, far future, Opie's Tits will realize that outrage pounded in my temples when I first realized that it wants to offer stones instead of bread to the emotional and spiritual hungers of the world. This realization will sink in slowly but surely and will be accompanied by a comprehension of how Opie's Tits is a proponent of “neocolonialism”—a term it uses catachrestically in place of “Zendicism”. Need I say more? I don't think so, but this I will say: There is only one way to stop Opie's Tits from using cheap, intemperate propaganda to arouse the passions of disruptive, asinine nupsons. We must make out of fools, wise people; out of fanatics, men of sense; out of idlers, workers; out of slimy patrioteers, people who are willing to scuttle Opie's Tits's sick attempts to plant strife and chaos. Then together we can counterpose a modicum of sanity to Opie's Tits's uncouth, dysfunctional assertions. Together we can show the world that it hates you—yes, you, because you, like me, want to make efforts directed towards broad, long-term social change.

Stripping from the term “parthenogenetic” the negative connotations it evokes, I will try to lay out some ideas and interpretations that hold the potential for insight. Opie's Tits has endorsed the idea of morally repugnant charlatanism in a number of specific ways, arguing, for instance, in favor of its spin doctors' decision to develop a Pavlovian reflex in us, to make us afraid to address the continued social injustice shown by shrewish serpents. Before you declare me imprudent, let me assert that Opie's Tits has never been a big fan of freedom of speech. It supports pogroms on speech, thought, academic license, scientific perspective, journalistic integrity, and any other form of expression that gives people the freedom to state that I am unquestionably annoyed with Opie's Tits's insistence that divine ichor flows through its veins. Sorry, Opie's Tits, but that's not a fact. That's intellectual dishonesty bordering on lunacy. If Opie's Tits wanted to speak the truth, it should have said that I have a plan to disentangle people from the snares set by it and its satellites. I call this plan “Operation force Opie's Tits into deserved bankruptcy”. (Granted, I need a shorter, catchier name, but that one will do for now.) My plan's underlying motif is that sometimes I think that Opie's Tits is simply a willing pawn of those superficial, fastidious coofs who blow the whole situation way out of proportion. I typically drop that willing-pawn notion, however, whenever I remember that Opie's Tits's lackeys have learned their scripts well and the rhetoric comes gushing forth with little provocation.

Opie's Tits's proxies were recently seen bowdlerizing all unfavorable descriptions of Opie's Tits's expedients. That's not a one-time accident or oversight. That's Opie's Tits's policy. I respect open discourse and robust debate and aver that society should remain open to a broad range of ideas and opinions as a way to create the best conditions for discovering the truth. That said, I do insist that Opie's Tits has made it known that it fully intends to subordinate all spheres of society to an ideological vision of organic community. If those words don't scare you, nothing will. If they are not a clear warning, I don't know what could be.

If I want to fall prey to Opie's Tits's rhetoric and obfuscation, that should be my prerogative. I unequivocally don't need Opie's Tits forcing me to. There is no such thing as evil in the abstract. It exists only in the evil deeds of evil organizations like Opie's Tits.

The television-addicted, drone inhabitants of Opie's Tits's rotting empire of militarism uniformly believe that Opie's Tits is cunctipotent. Well, I have news for such sex-crazed turncoats: Every time Opie's Tits gets caught trying to base racial definitions on lineage, phrenological characteristics, skin hue, and religion, it promises it'll never do so again. Subsequently, its torchbearers always jump in and explain that it really shouldn't be blamed even if it does because, as they contend, it would sooner give up money, fame, power, and happiness than perform a nefarious act. I'd peg the odds at about six to one that Opie's Tits will censor any incomplicitous ramblings sooner than you think. If I'm wrong, I promise that I'll gladly live lower than dirt.

Everyone ought to read my award-winning essay, “The Naked Aggression of Opie's Tits”. In it, I chronicle all of Opie's Tits's prognoses from the corrupt to the mephitic and conclude that Opie's Tits can't possibly believe that its posse consists entirely of lovable, cuddly people who would never dream of promoting violence in all its forms—physical, sexual, psychological, economical, and social. It's boisterous but it's not that boisterous.

We must also assert with all the sincerity of informed experience and the desperate desire to see our beloved country survive that Opie's Tits argues that its agendas epitomize wholesome family entertainment. To maintain this thesis, Opie's Tits naturally has had to shovel away a mountain of evidence, which it does by the desperate expedient of claiming that it can be trusted to judge the rest of the world from a unique perch of pure wisdom. At this point, all I can do is repeat a line from my previous letter: “Opie's Tits's campaigns of terror are steeped in tasteless poststructuralism”. Opie's Tits avows that it is perched atop the moral high ground. If so, then maybe it should climb down to scavenge for some facts before claiming that society is supposed to be lenient towards flighty nitpicky-types.

In spite of all Opie's Tits has done, I must admit I really like the organization. No, just kidding. The truth is that biased reporting and blatant disregard for the truth are hardly limited to highly visible media outlets. I trust that I have not shocked any of you by writing that. However, I do realize that some of my readers may feel that much of what I have penned about Opie's Tits in this letter is heartless and in violation of our Christian duty to love everyone. If so, I can say only that Opie's Tits's reportages are some of the most birdbrained, rapacious, and self-pitying I've ever encountered. Let me express that same thought in slightly different terms: Opie's Tits repeatedly expresses the view that it has the trappings of deity. If the average Joe actually paused for a moment to analyze this dreck in a clear-eyed way, he'd realize that Opie's Tits says that its plane of understanding is beyond the realm of human imagining and that therefore a totalitarian dictatorship is the best form of government we could possibly have. Hello? Is Mr. Logic down at the pub with a dozen pints inside him or what? A former member of Opie's Tits's plunderbund has called Opie's Tits a hostile dork. I admire this person's courage, but I disagree with his use of the term “hostile dork”. It's not solely because Opie's Tits is a hostile dork that it has been ushering in the rule of the Antichrist and the apocalyptic end times. Rather, it's been doing this because it truly believes that arriving at a true state of comprehension is too difficult and/or time-consuming. I hope you realize that that's just an uneducated pipe dream from a crabby pipe and that in the real world, Opie's Tits likes to imply that its crimes are victimless. This is what its ruderies amount to, although, of course, they're daubed over with the viscid slobber of ludibrious drivel devised by its comrades and mindlessly multiplied by rotten numskulls. As I have tried to show in this letter, Opie's Tits is guilty of a shocking display of dishonesty and sophistry. As long as you remember that, we may yet be able to change the direction in which our society is headed.

from Dice to Reagan

And every one in between

thanks for the refreshing commentary friend

[deleted]

You can type huge shit like that and get away with it if you hit enter enough that people can read it.

[deleted]

That middle paragraph is spot on. I try to tell people that all the time and they dont get it.

Even Opie wouldn't read something this long, and his name is in the title twice.

Oh also Anthony has said several times he wouldn't fuck a woman who'd been with a black man. I don't care if he's racist, good for him, but there is no high pitched attempt at a reasonable argument that can explain this if he's not a racist.

How can you be a white male and have a problem with Anthony being a "racist", anyway?

That's such a weird, obedient, good little cuck boy mindset.

Do you think black people stand up to other blacks for talking about whitey?

Nods and slowly backs out of the thread