I'm not gonna be responsible for helping you cum.

ME: GEEEEZUS. You can't plan the magic...it just happens. With Jimymy and the other guests that come here, many of the comedians. We just talk about what's going on in the world. SNIFF The magic just happens when the mics are on. I know it sounds douchey to make this about myself but I've been doing this for over 25 years and then later on I joined Ant and we just figured it out. And its jsut a fact that you cant plan fopr this kind of radio.

Jimmy/anyone else: Yeah because I thin...

Me: YOU CANT PLAN It! Period. We just know, and I think jimmy will agreed, that it has to have the feeling of people hanging out and then the magic happens. Our show just got lucky because everyone else was so bad.

ugh. you are cancer.

That's funny, no?

ME: Alright, whadda we got today, Jimmy?

Jimmy: ...nothing I gue--

ME: What? Reddit? sniff I'm pretty sure those guys pretty much hate my guts, even though I didn't do anything to them. ... Go listen to Anthony's show, have a blast, I'm sure he's trashing me everyday and I know that's what you guys want. God bless... slurp

Jimmy: He's really not tr--

ME: So now these assholes want me to do an "interview" or some shit? With myself? Or get interviewed? But not really? I don't fuckin' understand this shit. So you hate me, but you also wanna hear more from me, that made a lotta -- makes a lotta sense. sniff Sorry it's a little early here folks and these assholes just won't let it go. ... Alright, we got Carla Gugino comin' in later, she's SMOKIN'.

Jimmy: Yeah she's pretty.

ME: She's SMOKIN'.

I remember a show where Jimmy was talking about how he made his girlfriend fuck his characters. Do you think the Opester likes to cuck himself by making Lynsi blow Harry Hater?

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ME: I don't take requests