Tits:  ...and that's "Imagine" by John Lennon to start the show. Ugh. [sniff] Rough weekend, huh? [chuckles] That was a fuckin' rough one, man.

Worm: Yeah, it really w--

Tits: Fuckin' rough one. Just fucking depressing, man.

Worm: Yeah.

Tits: This whole ISIS thing just isn't going away, huh?

Worm: Hmmm.

Tits: It's a problem. Look, I'm not saying I know the answers, man. But we've got a fucking problem to deal with here... This whole ISIS thing, man, fuck.

Worm: Yeah, it's really... really... it fucking sucks.

Tits: Poor guys over there in, er, err, errr, fuck, errrr, Paris.

Worm: Yeah. Paris.

ME: Eagles of death metal, we helped those guys out. They're friends of the show, ROLAND let's see if you can get them on the line. It's the least they can do for all the exposure we got them

This thread really illustrates how awful Opie is. With any daily broadcaster, you can find "crutches" or stupid phrases he repeats. But it was always exaggerated for humor. With Opie, it's incredibly accurate, infuriating, and not fun--and it's not just a phrase here or there--it's what he says every day. Fuck.

[deleted]

I know I've been waiting for the good start jokes

Ugh god, I just heard that in tits and worms voices.

Or the worst one:

"HOW HAVE THEY NOT FIGURED THIS OUT?!"

Opie's never contributed to anything in his life. Not the show, not his family, and not his friends. Yet he gives crap to people who are actually trying to work on a problem for not having it done immediately. I bet he orders a well-done steak and complains about taking too long. And I bet no matter how hard he tries, he's always stuck with morning breath.

DoubleGuns sees into the future.

Fuuuuuck. These terrorists man.

That's ridculoulsy accurate.

did you get an advance copy of the script too?

Haven't I heard that douchebag try to sound edgy and rip off Carlin's bit that we all secretly love seeing horrible shit on the news?

In 2015, when we all cultivate our own news feeds with our favorite writers and sources, do we really want to tune into a comedy show to hear two boobs prattle on about the most base observations? They all do it, and forget they're supposed to be funny.

Jim will pontificate assuredly that we can't go after terrorists without full-force, because these monsters only respect absolute brutality. Should be fun to listen to again!

those jizzbags!!!

Dude it's rough, man. I hope those fucking terrorist zilches slip in a puddle of aids.

ME: Yeah, exactly, THANK YOU. Let's go to Snowy in Michigan. Snowaaaay!

99.9% of all Muslims do the right thing PERIOD. sniff

Jim: Ozzy was in Paris last summer, good thing they didn't do it then.

Opie: ... sniff, anyways, I was watching the Real Housewives of Sheboigan and...

Jimmy: Fuck man.... yeah its just sad... whats there to say? Opie: We got John on the line, John! John Caller: Yeah, not all muslims are terrorists.. Opie: AHG God we never said that!!! Jim: We never said that, sir. ..... More obvious points, with half-hearted attempts at humor thrown in between

This is like Minority Report for shitty, hack radio. I'm already pissed about this future horseshit.

Ant's show is like Minority Report too.

gloomy spics with a chance of black lives matter.

BRUHTAL
I might skip work and play a drinking game.

Brutal or scumbags, you'll be hammered by 7:30

"obviously"

"Wooooow...wow...wowwowwow"

Shit, how did doubleguns forget the wows?

his name should be stricken from the historic records.

Yep, Tits will be thinking all weekend about what song to play and Jim will blame the media.

These SCUMBAGS at the New York Times puts this on the front page because they are HATEABLE!!!

ME: we should have gone after Isis on day one like I said period.

These fffffffffuckin ssssssssscumbags, and just to be clear I know it's not all muslims...

Like any bombing, Jimmy will say that he only saw a low quality video and didn't watch til the end, but it seemed pretty good, man!

I'll definitely be listening to this show to hear their stupid opinions on this. First time in over a year.

ME: This would be like, if it was New York City, if ISIS terrorized Giants Stadium, and at the same time, terrorized the Bowery Ballroom! Could you imagine the NYPD in that situation? Some cop would be driving to Giants Stadium, and then the dispatcher would say "umm we need you to come over to the Bowery Ballroom instead..."

Haha! Me: Sorry if we're going local here folks.

ME: I was once fought a French ISIS commando while scuba diving. Totally kicked his ass.

Worm: I dunno, the French hate us man, I'm never leaving North America because everyone hates us... although Burr was over there and said he liked it so maybe I should try it.

tssss...fawkin Eaglez of Death Metal...DVVV DVVV DVVV!!

goddamn i havent laughed this hard at a reddit post in a while...spot on shit

lolol. perfect

Haha! Me: Sorry if we're going local here folks.