He's literally too stupid to know that you can inhale while you're talking.

Another thing you'll notice is that when he forgets to inhale he starts speaking louder and faster to get all the worthless garbage out before he can breathe again.

Perhaps you've unlocked the key to opies retardation.

Think of opie like a boiling pressure cooker filled with shit and piss and estrogen. Occasionally he HAS to vent the noxious garbage gasses that he has constantly building up inside him or the entire system will go haywire. So he HAS to release Harry Hater videos. He HAS to share his awful photos on twitter. He has to do these things or the buildup of toxic goo in his body will start to collect in his breasts and make him sick.

His existence is a truly pitiful one. Sigourney Weaver should have had the mercy to flamethrower him on his nursery table. At least his children should be alright. It was a really charitable thing for Bam to have donated his thick skater loads so that the disease can end with Opie.

K.

He's too stupid to know how to breathe through his nose while he talks

"the Dope was almost suffocating himself during a simple sentence" - this made me laugh, thank you, and yes Opie stinks.

because he's so narcissistic that he refuses to let anything move on before he gets the entirety of his thought out, even if there are more than a few significant stutters or pauses because he forgot some information or forgot how to speak.

so he takes one deep breath, then aggressively forces out as many words as he can in order to assault the ears of those around him. and go fuck yourself if you feel like adding in a joke or relevant information, the opester NEEDS to express what year something happened.

I think that's reading way too much into it, he's not that sophisticated an organism.

It's because it's just a dumb tick.

Because he lacks the ability to shut up and listen. If he was a woman, he'd have two black eyes

He always has to squeeze out the last words of a sentence because he's out of breath. Other times, he'll just awkwardly suck in some air halfway through.

The weight of his meaty tits are squeezing the air from his lungs.

His last words will be "more weight".

http://i.imgur.com/0DzhW.gif?noredirect

WELCOME!

ME: This guy GETS it!

Forrest Gump was funny.

Because he's terrible at his job.

Same reason he burps into the mic. Because he fucking stinks.

His tits are too heavy.

It's a protection mechanism his goldfish brain developed because if he stops for the .5 seconds it takes to inhale he completely forgets what he was saying.

Anxiety brought on by poor job performance and/or sexual performance.

I hope next time he's gasping for breath his left arm goes numb

"Pumping it up!"

He has terrible posture and is always sitting in some kind of leaning back feet up chillin position

Mouthbreathing cretin.

Because doing his "Florentine radio voice" saps all the energy out of him. And he's almost 60.

It surprises him that he actually has something to say.

Florentine impersonation.

There's 3 reasons:

Opie is dumb.

Opie is stupid.

Opie doesn't get enough sleep, so he can't focus.

He's sucking the air out of the room.

Crippling panic attacks. Tightness in the chest, shortness of breath, that kind of thing.

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"Breath" you illiterate motherfucker.

Hopefully some kind of fast acting pulmonary disease.

Dr. Steve, what would be our best hope for a quick death?

Xanax. I wish he'd take more.

He and Jimmy have huge fucking breathing problems. Jimmy takes a deep breath, sniffs, and gasps...before every fucking sentence he starts.

Opie is a mouth breather who is trying to catch the air that is trying to get away from him.

Him sniffing non stop is the most annoying shit ever.

His heart sucks

http://i.imgur.com/0DzhW.gif?noredirect