I'm a jobless college dropout with substance abuse issues and recurring bouts of depression. Can I sign up?

Sign up? You're a captain.

I'd follow him into hell.

I pledge my life and my sword to the chosen one. Lead us to greatness

I don't remember writing this. Musta been a blackout.

Hey why don't you volunteer somewhere? I volunteer at a community radio station and it's a great break from the bullshit.

Shut up and take a hit off the light bulb pipe

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Here's what we need to do.

Call in with an INTERESTING made up story pertaining to the topic at hand. Once you get called on, attack with a question they don't want to address for example...tits buying twitter followers.

Then as he responds just keep screaming "HOLD ON HOLD ON"

If you get momentum where 50 people are calling in on each topic ready to troll them, they will never be able to take calls again.

Jesus. Do I have to spell it out for you fucking queers?

This will be the response:

Opie: "Jeesusss, do you guys have nothin BETTER to do...the show's doin good, I get a few extra followers on the twitter, you haters have some conspiracy about it? pause, sniff Why do you even listen, you obviously hate me and the show, what's the point? So what if I'm doin well on twitter?

Jim: I don't understand why these guys care.

Opie: Exackly! Who cares, man? Go listen to Anthony's show, god bless, I don't give a fuckkk. sniff Who cares?

That would be exactly like when Mike Francesa fell asleep.

Tits always lowers the volume of callers when he talks anyway, you'd get about one "HOLD ON" out before he drops the call or lowers the volume.

So just keep bombarding him until he has to pull a Mancow

Yeah, if we kept up with the calls it would get to him. I wonder if we could possibly break Jimmy...

Well we could still call in and just blurt out the topi they avoid.

How about #AreYouOkayOpie? I don't think we should validate his talking points

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I'd like to see a well thought out and pulled off jocktobering of the ope-ster for the whole month of october the rest of his life. Don't think we have enough people

So in his delusional state of mind he said that there is a hater campaign going on against him and now you want to prove him right?

...

Okay, I'm in.

By october the fans will have completed their 30 day sugar free challenge and will be unstoppable. Not sure us haters can compete

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if you want to piss Tits off, when you bash him on Twitter tag the people who he thinks are his friends,Maron Pollack the comics,anyone basically.They love it and Tits hates it.

It will get you blocked,but Tits still reads the blocked Tweets.

Exactly, and somebody will inevitably retweet something you've sent them, either from them just skimming through and not paying attention or they'll think it's funny. Everyone should follow the @BaldOpieRaqio formula.

We will march to the beat of ErockArmyNigga

Don't give him any more attention than you already do. His career is rapidly dying and he will have completely fallen off the face of the earth by about this time next year once the Stangles kick him off and take the channel for their own. He ages in dog years at this point from all of the stress that the past year has had on him, even though the haters totally don't bother him at all and he is bringing in thousands of new subscribers each month. A jocktobering is pointless. Fuck him.