Workout fuel! Amy Schumer grabs a pastry before heading out for some exercise in a strapless top and skimpy shorts

The British press is so wonderfully smug.

Buffalo Bill's next victim.

"Was she a big fat person?"

"N'you about a size fourdeen?"

Still would.

Would ye?!

Don't you hurt my dog!!

She's starting to look more and more like the gay fat dude on Modern Family.

She has the physique of Patrick Star

In fairness to the boys, ten years ago Amy was what goodhearted drunks call adorable.

Now she looks like that big shiftless nerd kid whose family is getting concerned for his health so they start hinting at him, "You should play football."

"I'm busy, Mom."

There was a time long ago when they were discussing how hot she was and I can't remember who might have actually been Patrice said something like , " she's not hot she's in the club comic cute, for a comic she's decent looking" or some shit

Amy cohosted the Black Phillip show with Patrice.

When I get home I'll see u I can dig it up

Wow the photoshop work people have to put in for her magazine spreads.... Probably takes weeks to make her look human at all.

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She's not wearing a sports bra. What the hell could she be doing in the gym? The moment she starts her warmup that thing is going to flap about and fall down.

And her top might slip off as well.

She's shaped like our favorite worm.

She's so fucking overrated. Sorry, but Hitchen's was right, women cannot be funny.

His point was more that women don't have to be funny, so most of them aren't. I don't think Schumer is very funny, but god it would sure help.

Joan Rivers wasn't funny?

She gets a pass. She was one of a kind.

The retards in studio say that to every chick who comes in. Shit, they called Sam's wife gorgeous when actually she's a frumpy 4, at best.

She has a pig face. Just being honest.

shes 32 with the mussel mass of a 1 year old. shes 100% baby fat.

She used to be OK back in the day when the cabbage patch face was cute,but that was never going to last.

That's not fair...

These photos were taken right after she filmed her scenes as 'Thing' in the new Fantastic Four movie.

What a fat abomination.

Erock, comment?

Eww looks like every tinder match I get

She should be goin' to the gym and eating bettar!

Sarcasm??

VILE

It looks like she has no depth to her face. Like an alien.

It's Richie Incognito

well honestly what do you expect them to say? "hey amy your looking chubby!"

They should, it'd help her dumb ass out

How about nothing? Why not compiment her comedy or movie or tv show? I personally never found her funny at all, but thats fine if they do. When people talk about male comics their sexyness has nothing to do with it

I love BBWs!

I like your positivity.

You hold your finger up to your eye and cover that tanktop and that looks like Jim Gaffigan.

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She's starting to look exactly like that fatty Melissa Mccarthy

I'll be nice, good for her for attempting to lose some weight.

Next week shell be in some magazine letting us know shes confident in her body and not doing it to lose weight.

And if she does that then fuck her, but I'm not going to fault someone for trying to better themselves physically. She's gained a noticeable amount of weight this past year (you look at her doing press and then watch the movie it's easy to notice), so kudos to her for trying to shed some pounds.

She has to. Hollywood already has one Melissa McCarthy. There literally isn't room for two.

This is Amy kinda/sorta trying to hold it together. Imagine when she gives up!

I predict her career trajectory to go as such:

She continues to become more successful as well as fatter and uglier and also less funny for the next few years. She becomes a Leena Dunham "I'm speakin for all the REAL women out there!" type who is, wrongfully, proud of how she looks and how she couldn't give a flying fuck that she isn't even presentable to shop at the white trashiest Wal-Mart in Pennsyltucky you can find

She then fades back into obscurity, goes back to touring the clubs, and doesn't really do movies anymore. At this point she is 280 pounds of sad alcoholism.

Finally, she realizes what a sack of shit she is and cleans up, stops drinking, and starts losing a bunch of weight. She then has an "I'm back!" return, where she's thin, but still really ugly, but instead of being a beacon of hope for fat ugly women's studies majors she is now a "You can too!" beacon of hope for those same women who are now fat and sad and lonely and who realized that spending your teens and twenties being mad at 49 percent of Earth's population isn't great for your well being. Expect lots of "you go girl!" and a positive new outlook on life.

pure fiction

This is the best she's ever going to look, and the lowest she's ever going to weigh. She's got The Machine behind her. She's got trainers, nutritionists, therapists, and coaches at her sausage fingertips, and she had a movie to promote, her first fucking movie to promote, yet she's still a jiggly, doughy mess.

If all that couldn't inspire her to eat sensibly and really work out, nothing else will.

She'll need to acquire a serious drug habit to drop the necessary weight, and even then, she'll probably just eat through it, aka Artie Lange.

Her inability to shed the pounds will result in Hollywood trying to make her the new ""funny", chubby, white girl-sassy best friend" character.

and this is the best case scenario. this is assuming she doesn't "eat" through the insulation The Machine and the world of comedy has (inexplicably) wrapped her in. a particularly stupid comment here, a really bad pic there (and you know that's comin'!), and it's over, rover.

She looks like John Goodman

John Goodman has a better rack.

She looks like every mid thirties white chick. Big deal?

Disgusting fatbody

It's bad for her for when she's becoming the sloppy pig mess that I fuck on the low and shamefully keep it secret from everyone in my life.

Why does anyone give a fuck about Amy Schumer's weight? So fucking pathetic the media pounces on this type of shit. If you want to bash her, critique what she's famous for, her comedy and acting, not how much she enjoys pizza and pastries. All I know is, if I was a successful comedian with a tv show and a hit movie, and I could get laid anytime I want despite how much I love food, I'd fucking go for it. I mean, look at Patrice, he was a fucking slob, but never once did you turn on him solely due to his weight. Not saying Amy and Patrice are equals in terms of comedic genius, but come on, relax. ... she's a normal, gluttonous American. No need to hate her for that.

The difference is nobody ever felt the need to insist on just how "hot" comedians like Patrice, Louis, or Roseanne ever were. If her supposed looks become part of her appeal they're fair game for criticism.

her show actually revolves around her being too ugly to be on TV. but don't let facts get in the way of a GOOD OL' FAT BASHING!!

...and this is how we know you've never interacted with a woman in real life.

You actually think women mean it when they talk about how ugly/fat they are? No, they're just fishing for compliments. Even a low 4 like Amy gets gassed up by simps like Norton which gives them a false confidence.

Ah, that's what I would have assumed about all you! And her act along with her show, produced with millions of dollars, is a little different than your fat girlfriend fishing for compliments. If you can't grasp the difference, that makes you the simp, no?

Stop embarrassing yourself.

This whole thread is nothing but people embarrassing themselves. But you're right, its boring.

I was so hoping for a Chip roll at the end to save your post. But you went full fag.

Save this weak ass bitch shit or Tumblr.

Your wife's a fat fuck.

At least we know what Bob Kelly's daughter would look like.

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I'm annoyed at how often that article described her shorts and referred to them as "skimpy" they are thigh length workout shorts that's not skimpy.

I don't care for Amy at all but this article is fucking stupid. Do we really need to report on someone about to work out?

She's not attractive but Good for her working out even if she does eat a sugary pastry before. Who cares tho.

If any of the fucking retards in this thread actually watched her show, they would know that none of their weak ass comments come even close to how brutally she insults herself. Jump on the hate train ya ignorant morons, or watch a bit and make up your own minds:
http://www.cc.com/episodes/d6vl24/inside-amy-schumer-12-angry-men-inside-amy-schumer-season-3-ep-303

As a recent sub, I'll take that as a comment. I actually thought somebody had bothered to offer a rebuttal, but instead I see the same unoriginal thinking that's reflected in your post. Yawn I guess?

It's not acceptable to make fun of fat people? So what's everyone doing here then? Has everyone suddenly stopped insulting fat people around the world?

If you guys were funny, or original about the insults then fine. But most aren't. Most are tired cliches that make you look even more pathetic.

If it comes from a place of humor its funny, but most of this is coming from some really shallow self-esteem issues and reeks of neckbeard.

I didn't give two fucks about her or her show when everyone was claiming how awesome it was. Only when I saw the nerd hate did I bother to check it out.

I don't even think she's that great, but there is so much worse out there. Nah - let's all just focus on the bitch that tries to be successful with an actual TALENT, and not just "good" looks and vapid consumerism.

Eh - if you're having fun then don't bother responding. But hating on someone, especially someone so inconsequential to your own lives or anyone else's for that matter, is a huge fucking waste of time. :)

It's the only reason ghost_monk is getting offended, his fat ass

Its the only reason your mom stays around - she can't get enough slimy fat hog down her guzzler. I put her on a chain, but that won't keep the neighbors away. It's probably because she uses a lot of mucus when she’s deep throating. Feels good ya know? Any way, be sure to give here an extra bucket of slop for me.

See the difference between that and your limp dicked responses? HUR HUR FAT. Fucking so goddamn lame bro. Not funny, not insulting, not original... Now I understand this thread - drooling dweebs hold each other’s dicks so they don’t feel lonely while they wish they had fucked beyond their familial boundaries.

Goddammit kevin. That's adorable. I can't be mean to you, but take a look at my comments below to Stud_beaner_69, who I'll just call the Simian smegma sucker for now... at least until he comes with up with some real insults. You though... I like you. Even if you're so fat you sweat fucking gravy you lumpy waterbed of human being. <3

What a fag, if u weren't getting hurt about the replies, u wouldn't even bother replying back. But since it's getting to you, u have to reply that's it's not bothering u to show us "I'm not phased, waaaaaaah"

White knight status, yo

Dude - I was bored you fucking drooling monkey dick sucker. When you're done jacking off baby simians, drag your fat bald ass back here so we can have a little chat. Oh, and try to spell. It's what we call a "good life skill".

This sub is People magazine.

Yes, Amy Schumer is doughy and potato-faced. You're not speaking some great, necessary truth by pointing it out with unflattering paparazzi shots. It just comes off as kind of petty cattiness.

No shit, shirlion. Take a step back and look at the bigger (tsss) picture.

It's really just a reaction to her side/supporters pretending she's attractive, her "catch a dick" comment, her "way too carried away with herself" attitude, and her overall lack of talent.

On the plus side, or should I say plus sized (tsss), she could get you a toe by 1:00.

When you think about it, she's more weak/stubborn/gluttonous than anybody's being catty. All this would go away in a heartbeat if she just cut down on the calories and worked out regularly.

Fuck her and the forces that are trying to sell her as funny and attractive.