I wish nothing but the best for Anthony
19 2015-07-26 by zucchinimash
I hope that one day soon he turns off the TV and has a long dark night of the soul - coming to the conclusion that he is a deeply flawed person, and vowing to make things right.
He has a heartfelt chat with Danni, and gently tells her that she should be with guys her own age. He closes down TACS for good, with a final episode apologising for all his awfulness. He sells all his guns and mansion and buys a more humble abode to retire in.
He logs out of twitter for good. And finally has that beer with Opie - they talk through some of their issues - resulting in Opie feeling invigorated to put some effort into his radio show for the last few years before retirement. Opieradio becomes a much more listenable and likeable show, with the occasional visit from a more relaxed ego-less Anthony Cumia from time to time.
Anthony gets out of the spotlight, distances himself a little from unhelpful friends and family. His new hobbies include reading philosophy books, watching classic movies, and going for long walks.
He develops an interest in human rights and global inequity, and gets involved in a number of special interest groups.
He meets a nice middle aged woman with two children from a previous relationship and after dating for a while they decide to get married.
His sense of humour is appreciated in his old age as he occasionally makes appearances on numerous podcasts and radio shows, just to hang with old friends.
He dies of old age, leaving behind a loving wife and two stepchildren, and the radio world play a special tribute to all his contributions on the anniversary of his death for years to come.
44 comments
80 buryonedeep 2015-07-26
Go write a romance novel somewhere else, faggot.
43 3stepsbackward 2015-07-26
My god, this is the nicest thing ever written on this sub.
17 CheetahHeels 2015-07-26
Seriously. It's like a Pixar movie
11 brettsd 2015-07-26
Except far less realistic
29 schmoegreene 2015-07-26
I hope he dies today.
10 JohKhur 2015-07-26
Jesus this made me laugh, you guys are pieces of shit lol
17 rhythem45 2015-07-26
Almost thought i was gonna get chip-rolled
16 fart_yourself_awake 2015-07-26
Coke? Me too.
8 chippersonlyle 2015-07-26
Okay faggot.
5 Genericscreen 2015-07-26
WHAT'S NEXT?!
8 Opesterfan 2015-07-26
Such an harmonious picture you conjured. It makes his actual life seem all the more wasted on hate, anger and petty grudges.
I join you in your wishes for Anthony, and extend comparable wishes upon each and every frequenter of this sub, even that racist, tedious cunt /u/KenFrezno
1 KenFrezno 2015-07-26
"Fuck him, RIGHT GUYS?! :D"
Do you think this affects me?
7 KuukerinNelli 2015-07-26
At this point it would be better had he let Richard suck his dick in the treehouse and made 180° at that point of his life and wouldn't have become who he is today.
7 thrillated 2015-07-26
He'd have become Norton then.
6 mulatamongrol 2015-07-26
I wish you get MRSA on your dick.
6 [deleted] 2015-07-26
http://i.imgur.com/RkgBXlJ.jpg
2 schmoegreene 2015-07-26
Who is that lady?
5 Grandmas_Dick 2015-07-26
You idealistic dink. Right or wrong Anthony is Hunter S. Thompson-ing this shit. Go fuck your mother you boring cunt
deep down there's a side of me that thinks what you wrote was kinda nice but fuck you anyway
11 Flamgirlant 2015-07-26
He's not Hunter S. Thompson or Jack Kerouac. None of the romanticizing that people do for their addictions should ever apply to Ant. His alcoholism has made him an incredibly boring person. He doesn't use it to create a great or interesting product, and he doesn't use it to party hard enough for anyone to care.
He just drinks enough to be oblivious to the fact that he's alienating almost everyone who ever liked him. He rants like your half-senile alcoholic grandfather that everyone will be happy to forget once he dies.
That Gavin Mcinnes show with the 3 southern girls was exactly how I was hoping TACS would be. Not only is TACS a far cry from the entertainment that show brought, but Ant actually seemed kind of annoyed the next day that Gavin was in the pool with those girls.
3 Grandmas_Dick 2015-07-26
yea yea youre right fair enough
3 [deleted] 2015-07-26
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pp8yHBwSfI0
2 Dennyisthepisslord 2015-07-26
Her name is Dani sir.
2 IggysGlove 2015-07-26
I agree with all this. Except he needs a cop husband. Not a woman with kids from a previous marriage.
1 zucchinimash 2015-07-26
response
2 McGowan9 2015-07-26
Your well-wishings have no place here, Sir.
2 birdmanisreal 2015-07-26
You use your tongue prettier than a 20 dollar whore..
1 [deleted] 2015-07-26
[deleted]
1 Jackthejew 2015-07-26
And I want 72 virgins when I die and a childhood free of homosexual/incestual encounters but we don't get to live in a fantasy world do we? No.
1 justchippinyaaaa 2015-07-26
Good luck with that.
1 [deleted] 2015-07-26
[deleted]
1 niggerplease88 2015-07-26
I am now very confused about this not ending in a Chiproll. Well done you faggot.
1 Jackatard 2015-07-26
When is he going back to tin-knocking? In his radio days, he has said that was his biggest fear when Opie would push them to the brink of getting fired or his contract fuckery nonsense.
1 CuckECheese 2015-07-26
I read this whole post while imagining it playing out as the peak of a dramatic movie to "Ordinary" by Train.
1 wizardnug 2015-07-26
ugh
1 Anarox 2015-07-26
F
1 TenGallonBat 2015-07-26
zucchinimash: ''...his death for years to come.''
Ant: ''Niggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggernigger.''
1 stinkskc 2015-07-26
so gay. and they'd have a grapefruit beer
1 ShadowbannedKeith 2015-07-26
I think this would be a great ending for Anthony and although you put great thought and care into it I would give it a 0.5% chance of ending this way with about a 30% chance he is killed with his own guns and a 40% chance he dies of heart failure or drug overdose. Also 89% chance he dies all alone. I'm rooting for your scenario though.
0 [deleted] 2015-07-26
[deleted]
0 The_Yog_Man 2015-07-26
If he hasn't sorted himself out in 60 years then he never will. Ant will die a miserable old loser.
-1 JoeCumiaSr 2015-07-26
Shut up fag
-4 Slippery_Slope_Guy 2015-07-26
Nice fan fiction stupid.
-4 KenFrezno 2015-07-26
Stopped reading
6 zucchinimash 2015-07-26
Where are you quoting that from?
-3 KenFrezno 2015-07-26
Second paragraph, derived from between the lines by using a little intuition. Why in the fuck would he sell the compound? Because you feel like you're more "humble" because of your shitty yellow tinted walls and two bedrooms? Shut up.
6 zucchinimash 2015-07-26
You intuited wrong, it had nothing to do with me or my home.
His house is a big part of who he is. He's said on the show in the past that in the street he is probably a 3 to girls, but in his house he is a 9 (wishful thinking).
He cowers behind the walls he built from the world / reality - his identity is tied up with his house and guns and young pussy. The clue is in the name - 'compound'.
0 KenFrezno 2015-07-26
He hates the world, he doesn't need to sell his house to live in a shittier one, he needs to sever his internet connection and enjoy the hermit life he has earned himself.