Opie and Anthony - who dies first?

9  2015-07-13 by furmp

Opie seems like the clear winner in terms of health. He doesn't have a drinking problem and doesn't have the habit of fighting black women at night. However Ant is so full of hate maybe it will keep him alive longer than he should be.

Personally I'm thinking Opie will last longer. That on air eulogy is going to be rough.

41 comments

18  3stepsbackward 2015-07-13

Sadly, it wouldn't surprise me if Anthony is found floating facedown in his pool in the next 5 years. And by years, I mean months. :(

17  ShadowbannedKeith 2015-07-13

And by years, I mean months. :(

:)

5  Jockel76 2015-07-13

"He died doing what he loved the most, being drunk and ranting on twitter."

17  valley_pete 2015-07-13

Hopefully together, while on-stage at their first reunion show.

1  [deleted] 2015-07-13

[deleted]

13  bigmattson 2015-07-13

This is a really good question... The answer is obviously, Howard Stern.

16  KennethFresno 2015-07-13

I invented choking to death on my dentures, rahben.

3  bigmattson 2015-07-13

Well technically Opie will die first... But after taking a few calls on his Larry King type show in 8 years he will slap his hand on his console proclaiming "O&A always get's all of their idea's from this show Robin! I died back in the DC days tell 'em Fred!"

Then when Fred relucantly agree's Howie will slowly fade away... A scene from a bad movie.

3  Tell_Em_Fred 2015-07-13

Tell 'em Fred.

2  michaeIcolestie 2015-07-13

No the reverse is true. Then they follow his example

13  The_Natty_King 2015-07-13

ME: "Check out the empty casket, Maaaaahn!"

2  krbin 2015-07-13

ME: "When I was a kid, my dad faked his death for taxes purposes. I swear to god this is true."

12  Marathon_Man_3k 2015-07-13

I hope Anthony. Opie has small children.

3  chimpchimperson 2015-07-13

those are Bam's kids

10  fratboy_massacre 2015-07-13

Anthony is already living on borrowed time: coronary with stent placement in his early 40s (bad heart, bad arteries), continuous chronic alcoholism/binge drinking (bad liver, pancreas), lifelong anxiety disorder (self-medicated), hate addict, loves guns and owns an armory. Can't believe he's still alive. Opie, since he offers nothing in life, will probably live to be 103.

9  SteveLusion 2015-07-13

Ant's taken some blows, but angry, shriveled Italians are outlasted only by Russians and Jews for overall hardiness.

-3  fratboy_massacre 2015-07-13

The man actively courts death. Italians are no match for it. I've seen hardier Englishmen.

10  SteveLusion 2015-07-13

I live out near Vegas, and 9/10ths of the population there are "Italians that by all rights should have died a decade ago".

-4  BottleOfAon 2015-07-13

hate addict

If that's a life threatening condition then you'll be gone well before him you silly cunt.

7  Augment 2015-07-13

Jimmy then Ant then Opie.

7  unclepaul84 2015-07-13

I would say Opie actually goes first. I think the black widow will strike once the SiriusXM checks stop coming in.

2  BoardroomBimmy 2015-07-13

She already took out Ryan Dunn. Raab Himself is next up and then Opie.

6  Jockel76 2015-07-13

I hope it won't be little Jimmy, he doesn't look good.

6  TunesianKnifeFighter 2015-07-13

Opie +305

Anthony -347

-1  Wsallgood 2015-07-13

Ant: -42 take the points

5  CumiasTheBeesKnees 2015-07-13

I'm gonna go with Hudson and / or Ganges (or whatever her name is)

They are going to be old enough to read the Internet pretty soon and as soon as they find this shithole they are going to fling themselves out of the penthouse window faster than Conor Clapton can hum the opening riff of white room.

2  RearNakedGrope 2015-07-13

LOL, Ganges.

3  CumiasTheBeesKnees 2015-07-13

LOL.. I've had some people claim it's Schuykill.. Potomac is my other favorite.

4  CuckECheese 2015-07-13

Anthony's gonna get drunk one of these days, play with one of his guns and accidentally shoot himself. Opie will get breast cancer.

1  fratboy_massacre 2015-07-13

"accidentally"

4  mikestl1988 2015-07-13

Hopefully in a murder suicide when TACS goes belly up and Ant goes postal at Sirius/xm...im sorry thats terrible

2  echojams 2015-07-13

Bob Kelly

2  MSteve1232000 2015-07-13

This should win an award for "most asked question on this sub."

Anthony, by the way. Op is a regular Joe with a mic, even if you factor out the tree bark and grass diet. He'll live to his 70s, 80s.

Ant on the other hand is textbook batshit crazy public figure. He'll find a way.

2  VeritablyClean 2015-07-13

they say the good die young so I think they'll both live forever

2  rubbishmyjunk 2015-07-13

They've both been dead for years.

1  [deleted] 2015-07-13

[deleted]

1  NashuaDan 2015-07-13

Don't rule out Lynsi hiring the Philly Crew to slip Opie a mickey

1  chippersonlyle 2015-07-13

Jimmy has become a 12 year old bulimic girl, Anthony has become howard hughes, and Opie has tits like Mrs. Doubtire.... Who will die first is a really tough call.

3  CumiasTheBeesKnees 2015-07-13

What is she worried about the reliability of her tires or sumphin?

1  smithjosh 2015-07-13

I wouldn't be surprised.

Guys who exercise and whine/boast about their diet always seem to come up with something before they succumb to heart disease.

1  BigGreenYamo 2015-07-13

Opie - aortic dissection

0  Dannyprecise 2015-07-13

Oh oh I know this joke...

Who cares?!

-2  -Palaver 2015-07-13

It's anyone's guess. Ant looks healthier than he did working at Sirius while Opie looks like he's aging rapidly.