I want to ride my bicycle....

1  2015-06-20 by silks322

Unless you've been living under a rock, or actually have something constructive to do with your life, you know that the Opester has been all-in with the cycling lately. He fancies himself as fairly knowledgable and even makes witty observations about the subtleties of the sport (i.e. tapping out before those tight shorts become involved).

I caught the other day how he was saying that all of the other gearheads out there would be interested to know that Lynszsyii got him some new wheels for Father's Day (on his dime, no doubt). Then he proceeds to say how he's going to post a picture of it "on the Twitter" because he didn't remember what kind of bike it was.

What a fucking tool. His wife buys him what I assume would be a bike that probably costs as much as a couple of my mortgage payments. He proceeds to talk as if he envisions himself as somewhat of a cycling enthusiast. Then doesn't even give a shit, or have enough background, or have Swiss cheese memory (or all of the above) to even recal what brand of cycle it is.

Jerry Seinfeld loves automobiles, Bill Burr flies fucking helicopters, I get myself in a huff over an awful raqio show... we all have hobbies. What does the Opester have a passion for? What does he enjoy doing and learning about??

15 comments

13  blackirishlad 2015-06-20

the kardashian family

8  Pat_Battle_Storage 2015-06-20

It's freakish. Most of us have heard Opie talk more than we've heard anyone in our real lives talk, and he's never demonstrated any real interest in or knowledge about anything, not even the subjects where he claims expertise.

He can't be into nothing, can he? For all these years? So whatever he's really ALL IN on, he doesn't talk about.

I think we accidentally got a couple looks in on Opie's "passion" during the Greggshells beef. Defending himself stupidly (because he's stupid) he admitted to a bunch of behind-the-scenes corporate weasel shit, concern-trolling management about Anthony to plant the seeds of his firing, making plans to get the New Direction happening.

That's where his heart is, the office scheming, abusing interns, dominating the partnership with girly emotional outbursts, stifling the funny with calls and "ship steering," throwing away next-big-thing bands' CDs without listening to them, being Corporate Cunt.

It's a full life for him. Not even enough room to fit a bike's brand name in there.

3  I_Hate_Knickers 2015-06-20

Yeah he's like the idiot bully when you were a kid. Obstinate, cruel, incapable of self awareness and a half spaz.

3  nointernetforyou 2015-06-20

Cycling is a lifestyle. Period.

1  Opiesux 2015-06-20

I want to ride my bike I want to ride my bicycle I want to ride it where I like

You say black I say white You say bark I say bite You say shark I say hey man Jaws was never my scene And I don't like Star Wars You say Rolls I say Royce You say God give me a choice You say Lord I say Christ I don't believe in Peter Pan Frankenstein or Superman All I wanna do is

Bicycle bicycle bicycle I want to ride my bicycle bicycle bicycle I want to ride my bicycle I want to ride my bike I want to ride my bicycle I want to ride my Bicycle races are coming your way So forget all your duties oh yeah! Fat bottomed girls they'll be riding today So look out for those beauties oh yeah On your marks get set go Bicycle race bicycle race bicycle race Bicycle bicycle bicy I want to ride my bicycle Bicycle bicycle bicycle Bicycle race

You say coke I say caine You say John I say Wayne Hot dog I say cool it man I don't wanna be the President of America You say smile I say cheese Cartier I say please Income tax I say Jesus I don't wanna be a candidate For Vietnam or Watergate Cos all I want to do is

Bicycle bicycle bicycle I want to ride my bicycle bicycle bicycle I want to ride my bicycle I want to ride my bike I want to ride my bicycle I want to ride it where I like

1  I_Hate_Knickers 2015-06-20

You missed the first sentence. Downvote.

0  cali_nico 2015-06-20

I hate that fucking song. http://gph.is/VxbrOn

-2  AntsCamera 2015-06-20

The guy who sung that loved ass sex and died of AIDS back in the days when dying of AIDS was hip.

2  Opiesux 2015-06-20

Thanks capt. obvious.

2  silks322 2015-06-20

It's NOT hip anymore?

2  SonOfTomServo 2015-06-20

Does anyone remember laughter?

1  I_Hate_Knickers 2015-06-20

Thanks for the info.

1  VeritablyClean 2015-06-20

I caught the other day how he was saying that all of the other gearheads out there would be interested to know that Lynszsyii got him some new wheels for Father's Day (on his dime, no doubt). Then he proceeds to say how he's going to post a picture of it "on the Twitter" because he didn't remember what kind of bike it was.

he's an unironic CQ

1  I_Hate_Knickers 2015-06-20

I like that you felt it necessary to include an introduction. Up vote coming your way directly.

1  JunkerHQ 2015-06-20

ME: I'm all in with rollerblading. PERIOD