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At least his jokes have punchlines. Thats more than you can say about the scorch of old

It's sad to see how far he's come and how bad he still is.

But he gets a tear in his eye when he hears Opie on the radio, making 100 times what he is and half the comedic talent.

At least Scorch tries to make jokes.

Oh, and this is sad -- very, very sad

Self aware too.

First of all, have you guys heard there are more water restrictions going on here in California? Many of them are having such an impact. For instance, they just renamed Splash Mountain... "Just A Spritz Mountain."

Fawking homerun Skortche

This transcript was written for the deaf but now I wish I was blind

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And these punchlines even translate well in London, England!

God bless that sweet retarded chud.

television

Heh. Oh Scorch.

Im telling you, sometime this summer if they'll let me in I will make a road trip down there and be in the studio audience/hang out on set and come back with a full report. It'll be like a Vice documentary.

I don't think there's actually an audience. It has to be laughter and applause added in post production.

Oh there's def not. I'll just pretend I'm a PA or something. I'll grab a Burger King headset.

The thing to do would be to show up with a group of people, say you're "here for the live taping," and see how he reacts.

He'll probably lose his shit. Probably ask me to fuckin COhost. "Holy shit, somebody likes me!" (Im the same way about my podcast.)

What's ya podacast? Lookin faggy radio or sumpthin? Tsss got 'em chipason

Double PLUGS, cocksucka!

That band was fucking beyond awful...even by scorch' standards.

10X better than Opie.

Honestly the joke about the Seattle weed place I could see Fallon or one of those guys making.

That was the only one that made me chuckle.

"None of the firefighters were overcome by smoke despite numerous attempts to be overcome by smoke".

A clever, Norm-esque line by Scortch.

Unfathomable. We live in interesting times.

CHEAT ON YOUR WIFE?!?!

AT A RITE-AID??????

1980!!!???

A fire burned down Seattle's very first legal commercial growing operation. They say it took about 45 firefighters and 87 pizzas to put out.

That's GOLD Jerry, GOLD!!

It actually reads slightly better than it sounded. Slightly.

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They even work in print. He's still got it. Jumping Turtle better appreciate him while they can before LA starts calling.

"When you cheat on your wife--allegedly cheat on your wife."

LOL he completely takes the steam out of it by clumsily covering his legal bases.

Oh come on, one of the rare upsides of being deaf is that you don't have to hear Scorch but can instead just laugh at his asinine appearance. Nice pirate earrings and toothpick, dick. You look like Gayzor Ramon.

LOL, Gayzor.

"Hey Mo"

Funnier than Opie aka the real Tank Hankerous

Scorch is so bad it goes back all the way around to being good. The best part is that he isn't trying to be so bad it's good, he is just naturally that bad despite not trying to be.

I lol'd at the absurdity of this

What recourse do you have if you were rendered deaf from listening? Should I call Dr Steve?

Did anyone else so a ba dum dum tss after every joke in their head?

Scorch feasts off the low hanging fruit.

I read these in crippled Jimmy's voice from South Park, punctuated with "Wow, what a great audience"

Which one is Wheeze and which one is Scorch?

I chuckled at the first joke, that's pretty okay. This though:

A new survey found that a growing number of millennials want to work from home and get more time off... Of course the first step toward that would be getting out of mom and dad's basement.

They want time off work and more time at home so they should get out of mom and dad's basement. But people in the basement usually don't have jobs. Also being in a basement when you're working from home can reduce the distractions around the house darling, would you like a piece of candy dear? Oh what a sweetheart you are!

Another quality PrepBurger^TM product

We get it, it's a terrible show with a canned audience. PFG? BFD? WGAS?

He'll probably lose his shit. Probably ask me to fuckin COhost. "Holy shit, somebody likes me!" (Im the same way about my podcast.)

AT A RITE-AID??????

That was the only one that made me chuckle.