"You like ketchup? What are you, fucking my wife?"

hahaha holy shit

I think he's taking the high road for the sake of his kid. But who gives a shit about this

I'd be inclined to agree.

He is a touring comic, it isn't like he can demand sole custody of the kid and banish his wife from memory. He'll pay her to take care of him 80% of the time and hope she isn't as bad a mother as she was a wife.

I took the "I wanted to stay married" comment as being before he found out she was cheating on him.

Yes, that's how I read it. He also said there were certain things he would never be able to accept within a relationship, which was obviously a reference to cheating.

She'd been married twice before, so she's obviously a three-holer, Florentine knew what he was getting into.

Edit: Also, circumcised black guy, what the hell does that mean?

It means a man of the African-American race who has had his foreskin removed, likely at birth.

You know, the famous black jews.

I'll take famous black Jews for 1000 Alex.

who is Sammy Davis Jr?

Oh literal /u/GleepGlorpFloopdedoo

Well she did have needs. She NEEDED ketchup, AND reese's cups

You just reminded me I have reese's cups in my backpack. Thanks brothaman.

Marriage is a sham.

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Marriage as a legal contract is institutionalized sexism.

As a man, you're not entitled to anything you own and everything you've earned.

You're a dumb motherfucker if you willingly sign up for this.

I'm married.

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Lonely people say a lot of things that are true.

I think this is his broads third marriage.

Getting married is like building your home on a mine field and hoping no one gets hurt. It's not impossible but the cards are stacked against you.

I seem to remember listening to Love Line like 15 years ago and Dr. Drew once mentioned that, by and large, women cheat because their needs aren't met, whether sexually, emotionally, etc., whereas men cheat simply because they met another person willing to have sex with them. It would be... unfortunate if Florentine's travel schedule is what caused it. The only things I dislike about Florentine are because of Opie so I feel bad that he's going through this and that his kid will have to grow up splitting time between his parents. Then again, like Louie said, no good marriages end in divorce.

I think he said that he wanted to be married, but not to her. I've also seen online for a while that they had an open relationship. If you marry a girl who is under 38 and has been divorced twice, you're asking for trouble.

My guess is Florentine wanted to stay married because of the kid, and not for her. He could have stayed married and never stuck his dick in her again. Who wants to deal with dual custody, weekend visits, etc with a toddler. Stay married until the kid is 9 or 10 (shure) then get divorced - but it looks like the settlement ended up being fair anyway.

Better to get divorced before the kid can blame themselves.

When you have the permanent mental state of a 16 year old 80s metal head, it's not surprising that he'd be blindsided by 'chicks'.

I think they were being a little too vague to know for sure, but, him saying "I wanted to stay married" could have simply meant that before his wife did whatever, he wanted to stay married. But then he had no choice and couldn't stay with her

LOL

couldn't keep his old lady in line,what a beta-bitch.

ESD, Opie, Anthony, and now Florentine- I'm starting to think being a cuck is a requirement if you want to work near this show.

or not only are Women Not Funny©, but unfaithful. Upvotes for my brilliance please.

Sheddup

Fuck off back to 4chan. And while on the way there actually learn what cuckold means.

Dude, calm down. Go watch someone fuck your wife or something.

Don't speak about your mother like that.

Fawk ya dvvvv dvvv

Better to get divorced before the kid can blame themselves.