Aubrey Plaza? Where the Blockbuster used to be? (Boooo)

tsss

Ooooof.

Cmon, man. It's Friday. Don't be like that. Let's party.

Ok, ok. It was pretty good. Have a good weekend, kiddo. Don't get too coked out.

Ive never done coke, and Im terrified to even try it because I know I would probably get addicted. (Just for the fact Im in my mid 30s and really want to be able to stay up all night/keep drinking)

It interferes with the drinking. You made the right choice.

Yeah? Ok. I feel better. I almost literally got some shoved up my nose a few months ago at The Rainbow Room (shocker), but I fought it off. Im curious as fuck about it though. Im too much of a pussy, I'll never do it.

[deleted]

You've convinced me.

Experimenting with drugs can be a good thing, its about having moderation and structure in your life that can't be broken. Know your limits.

Ganja me smoke 'n not coke!

It's ok to slam people at parties, you know that.

I want to make out with Aubrey Plaza and touch her butt.

I want to make out with her butt.

I like watching the video of her rubbing one out into a sink. She's like one of us.

FAwkiN' CooTAHs! DV DV

Yup. She has a cute little twat.

[deleted]

Link?

Edit: NM, I found it.

That's cool, don't bother posting the link in your edit.

A simple Google search will give results, you lazy fuck.

I want to stroke her hair and gently whisper into her ear 'lettuce'.

"Lettuce bang you; my brother and I."

She'd be rolling her eyes the entire time. But don't take it personally, I don't think it's voluntary at this point.

Aubrey Plaza also once did a great Dick Clark impression.

you'd have more upvotes if more people knew she had a stroke.

Stroke my big peckah

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She only hates Sarah Silverman because she's a woman............Oh nevermind.

ME: Nice try with the HATE!!!!

tho

Iliza Shlesinger is a member of this sub?

In fairness Aubrey Plaza is just as much of a one-note no-talent cunt as Silverman.

More fuckable though, which in the end is the only thing that puts one female comic ahead of another.

[deleted]

Thank you for keeping tabs on the young, liberal demo.

Ease off there captain cranky.

She does improv though. That's like standup comedy's faggot cousin.

you must really hate improv because stand up comedy is awful. There are like seven people who aren't hacks in the entire industry.

Yeah we got the brilliant Andy Kindler, Joe de rosa and Sarah Silverman, but who are the 4 other non-hacks?

shuckey duckey QUACK QUACK

Shuckey ducky quack quaaaack

Opie, Bochetti, Vos and ester ku.

Aubrey Plaza has no talent whatsoever

Silverman too

This is the most flawed assessment of one's talent in the history of talent assessing.

Measuring female comics solely by fuckability... wow, you're such a macho bad ass!

How'd you wander into this side of town with an attitude like that? You need directions or something?

[deleted]

Yeah, I realize that having a little class - as opposed to acting like an over-the-top, bitter and insecure dude bro - can be unpopular at times on this subreddit. But I'm gonna continue to resist the darkness.

Honestly, can you read that comment again without wanting to throw up?

It's your humorless and passive-aggressive tone that makes you unpopular, it's not that we can't handle your realness you pretentious faggot.

Wow, you really got out your O'nA handbook for that comment, didn't you? Now if only you knew what passive-aggressive actually meant, instead of just vomiting out the same old tired phrases. Anthony's right in that people use that term too much, without understanding how to properly apply it.

Well you did me a favor, because I'll take not seeing eye-to-eye with a mindless parrot as a positive. And if that, to you, is pretentious, then that's a pretty goddamn sad indication of what your life must be like.

faggot

(I now await your 6 paragraph reply)

You're.

Obviously.

A.

Lonely.

Lifeless.

Degenerate.

[See my six-paragraph reply above, you sad little man.].

Wow, what a brave fucking soldier you are.

Sorry if you didn't like it, but you're really pulling an Opie/Florentine-hybrid, macho parody routine. "I measure female comics by how fuckable they are," and "Plaza's a one-note no-talent cunt." Not to mention busting Plaza - who has legitimately solid, edgy material - down to Silverman's level. The level of unintentionally ironic meatheadedness was just too much to ignore. Hell, you should be wearing an Ed Hardy shirt while typing that.

What I was actually doing was writing something overly aggressive and deliberately inflammatory because that's how this sub works, it's what we find funny. If I'd known there would be drippy eyed faggots like you reading I would most likely have thrown the word cunt in a couple more times. Maybe called Aubrey Plaza a gash with legs. Just to piss you off.

I don't tell you this to seem like an internet tough guy, instead I want you to understand that your outrage doesn't have any power here. Maybe having hurt feelings and a pussy makes you matter to twitter and the rest of reddit, but here? Nah. Horrific shit is regularly said about the patron saints of this subreddit and nobody bats an eye, why would some jumped up female comics be any different?

Now go home and get your fucking shine box.

Oh, so that initial post was your attempt at humor? No wit, no subtlety, no originality... just a wild swing for the fences with your hacky cunt mallet? My apologies, Scorch!

Yeah, you're Scorch. He basically demonstrated the same "genius" as you did when attempting a joke about Miley Cyrus on PFG, during an "If They Banged" bit, or some shit along those lines. This sub has far better material than that. And yours.

My outrage? My hurt feelings? Now THAT'S funny!

You're still responding?

Yes, sir. Counterpunching a collection of candy bar-stuffing social lepers - knowing that it hurts being poked at in your digital sanctuary, in what's supposed to be an escape from your unfortunate realities - is kinda fun every so often. But who knows? I'm about to start my swanky night out in the city (NYC, that is), and by tomorrow may have moved on, so this could be an opportunity for you misfits to get the last word, and thus claim what in your pathetic universe is considered a victory. Or maybe I'll keep baiting and trolling. We'll see how I feel after brunch...

I know what hat a classy guy might wear.

Gaaaaaaaay

If you knew everything about this subreddit, you'd know that it detests comics like that. We destroyed Esther Ku here. The entire place unanimously said she was a putrid guest and her song parodies were trash.

Aubrey Plaza is miles better than Ku and Silverman, both of whom I've never liked. I think people who watch Parks & Recreation, have seen some of Plaza's work, and even caught some of her late-night interviews and awards acceptance speeches, would get this. She's got O'nA (old-school O'nA, at least) and R'nF-like sensibilities, and I've seen her get support on this subreddit, so giving her an endorsement here is not a totally foreign concept.

Reminds me of when Ike Barinholtz shit on Dane Cook on Mad TV.

Damn nigga, that was brutal

I think all women comics would do a lot better if they condensed all their material to a minute and a half. this was actually somewhat watchable and funny.

Oof, what a burial.

Fockin' buried dat cocksucka!

Double GUns!!!!!

I want to bite her ass.

I'm just going to leave this here...

imgur link: http://i.imgur.com/Yt2IzHG.gif

^{I'm a bot | flag for glitch}

I want to hate her cos she's a female comic but all I can manage is grudging indifference.

Where's her giant bush?

tsss fuckin Moses saw it burnin' in the desert a' sumthin.

Jesus. thats pretty spot on compared to her roast material.

Hey, in my opinion i would fuck, marry and not kill this woman.

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Meh

The impression is spot on but Sarah does have some funny material and was doing that kind of shit decades before this current crop of dirty hot girl comedians who talk about their sex lives in gross ways.

This strikes me as a tribute more than anything, and a pretty fucking good one at that.

What gave you that impression? Was it the video description?

Sarah Only comedy credit is that she dates Jimmy Kimmel to further her career.

[deleted]

will watch later

Be sure to tell us what you think once you do.

Ok baby

The voice is right on

I saw it. It was pretty OK.

Hahahaha ill watch in less than 20

the suspense is killing me... did he watch it yet?!?

Yes I'd fuck her

Well...

sucked

Huh I watched this chick masturbate during the fappening and had no idea who she was. Wasn't into her then, not into her now.

Don't worry. She isn't into you either.

Well to be fair, she hasn't watched me jerk off online or do a Sarah Silverman impression. I think I could win her over.

Doubt it. Your fingers probably smell like Cool Ranch Dorritos.

To be fair Aubrey's fingers probably smell like Crab & Trout flavoured Seaweed snacks so we all have our crosses to bear.

Why is Aubrey Plaza fingering your lady?

Ha, joke's on you! I haven't had a girlfriend in 10 years!

Roland is that you?

I don't like chips but I do jerk off with ranch dressing so you're more right than you know.

stop saying jerk off.

Jerk off

Why would I stop saying jerk off when I'm talking to a jerk off, jerk off?

That wasn't part of the fappening it was a scene in a movie you fucking dolt.

Edit: I am the dolt

You are incorrect. Google aubrey plaza fappening.

No, there was some pictures and I believe a short video of her fingering herself in front of a mirror.

Well...

You are incorrect. Google aubrey plaza fappening.

the suspense is killing me... did he watch it yet?!?

No, there was some pictures and I believe a short video of her fingering herself in front of a mirror.

faggot

(I now await your 6 paragraph reply)