Bitch just wouldn't stop puttin ketchup on her burger and making awful facebook posts, the mans man had to cut the bitch out

"Let's paint a line through the middle of the house, okay? I'll keep my Sabbath stuff and signed Master of Reality record on my side, and you keep your ketchup over derrre"

Someone picked up his speech impediment where he pronounces every 'th' as 'd'. Well done.

nothing sadder than a bunch of lonely men in their late 40/ early 50's

tell me why i listen to these guys again?no wonder i'm soon to be 25 year old friendless lonely virgin

Get a Fuckn hooker for 2 hours. U can fuck her for half an hour and chit chat about the days events for the time remaining. 2 birds,1 stone.

nah, something about that makes me feel like I'm not doing myself any favors, if i ever get a hooker it'll be to satisfy some sort of fetish most normal women wouldn't be willing to do just to justify going to one rather than doing something even 15-16 year olds could do for free

[deleted]

Dude unless you're a monster it's not hard. You go up to a girl in a bar or whatever. Fake the confidence. Be funny. Patrice pulled crazy amounts of puss and he was like 400 lbs. It's all about your mindset. As far as having no friends, what's up do you have like mental issues? Cause if that's the case, don't just approach stranger women, you'll get maced. I'm not trying to be a dick I'm honestly trying to help. You can message me if you want instead

I'm going to be 22 in two weeks and I'm a virgin. I have friends and have had multiple opportunities to have sex, but I just have never been interested. I only jack off maybe 5 to 8 times a year. It just isn't a big deal to me. But if I were you and wanted sex I would totally get a hooker. Hell even I considered getting a hooker when I was in Amsterdam but I'm not gonna spend 150 bucks on something I don't give a care about.

When the fuck did Fez get a Delorean?

Your sex drive must be garbage. Check your testosterone levels.

how do you raise testosterone?

Doctors can prescribe it. Basically steroids, if you have low testosterone.

Here we have a man who chose danishes over pussy.

Hi Rat!

Are you a women? wtf

Catholic nuns have a stronger sex drive than that guy.

Go see bailey jay she will fix you up

don't feel bad, I'm a virgin too, and I'm 29

Jim: "Marriage? Who the fuck would do that, what are you twelve? Yea, I believe in fairy tales and spend my time watching romcoms, I think I can be with one person for the rest of my life and want to express my endless love through a contract with the government. What are you retarded? That's the biggest waste of time ever."

Wife: "Ok."

His first marriage but her third. Maybe she should be paying him 25k and child support. She is clearly a career housewife.

Best known for appearing on Howard Stern...

Divorce... What am I 12?

https://twitter.com/cryingopie/status/585749759652147201

@cryingopie

2015-04-08 10:23 UTC

@Mrjimflorentine Sorry to hear about the breakup brotha. If you need a shoulder to cry on @JimNorton has two we can use.

^{This message was created by a bot}

^{[Contact creator][Source code]}

Of course I got divorced, what am I, 12?

Exactly...

...best known for "The Howard Stern Show" appearances...

BWA!

Ehhh... Stern playing Florentines prank calls over the air basically gave Jim a career and he dated Robin Quivers. He doesn't do Howard anymore but he's definitely more known for his appearances on that show.

The show when Opie announces his divorce is what i am going to hang on for. Ideally it will be at the same time Sam announces his but i think Opie's will last a little longer.

Should've married Robin hoo hoo.

"I can't stay married. I'm not 4..."

Funny MoFo. Marriage must have been brutal

Buh-rutal...

Most definitely not beautiful...

WHYYYYY ARE YOU TRYING TO CUDDLE WITH ME? WHHYYY GET AWAY FROM ME UGH

Her third marriage? WTF was he thinking?

Definitely...

Sorry to comment on this twice but just realized, he gets a divorce and his penalty is child support and a one time payment of 25,000? Where the fuck did all the crank yanker and VH1 money go? Figured he'd be puttin out 6 digits

Maybe he's waiting tables for real in those youtube videos?

He's on VH1 classic; these guys don't make as much money as you think.

All his CDs, Crank Yankers, VH1 classic, Live Shows, not saying he should be a multimillionaire but seems like a low number

Crank Yankers was before he was married too, so she wouldn't get any of that. I hope anyway.

Think he had a prenup concerning the assets they brought into the marriage?

This is the only natural result of being married in the first place. It's a meat grinder for men to get fucking destroyed by the legal system.

As she squirted ketchup onto her burger "We're through,I can't do this anymore (staring at ketchup) I'm not 5!!"

Things I like about the TMZ story: -"his first marriage, her third" - says it all, right there - the photos, him looking bummed, her all "yaaaaaay!"

bruuuuutal

This pleases me as someone who hates him. Man its been a great week

Beautiful.

Florentine -- best known for "The Howard Stern Show" appearances

That's gotta hurt, Opie.

She couldn't stand his shtick, either.

Florentine -- best known for "The Howard Stern Show" appearances and "Crank Yankers" -- filed to divorce Samantha Florentine on March 6. They'd been together for 2 and-a-half years.

TMZ must not have heard about the 20,000 new listeners OqieRaqio got!

I guess she just wanted some fucking ketchup on her fries without having to hear a 10 min diatribe

Why would anyone marry a girl that was married twice before you??????????????

Its nuts how all these guys who talk open and honest shit about women,sex and divorce are still getting married.

Jim Flo

Beauutiful.

Not known for Opie and Jim Norton?

One too many upper deckers at the Florentine household?

Upper deckers, stretching his limp dick for laughs, muting the TV to play Sabbath.

It's pretty sad that it's news that he isn't losing his house after a 2 year marriage.

And still no mention of him being a regular guest on the OJ show...but management is happy with the direction of this media destination

I don't like it. I am not eight.

I guess Oqie and Ant aren't the only ones getting a divorce these days! amiright?

I guess this 22 year old Eric Otten is cop in Bradley Beach, New Jersey and with all this stuff going on with the police these days - how does this guy still have a job by breaking up a marriage when they have a kid??? Isn't there some kind of police morality clause when they sign up to be a police officer? Does anybody morals these days? Can't cops be held accountable for anything these days?

He alluded to this on his podcast a few times.

I had a joke about him not wanting to be married because he's not 6. But she did because she was 6...and then something about uncle paul.

And am i the only one who thought of chip and the SFP when they read the word "Divvied"?

Definitely...