Op-tits tells more lies...
6 2015-03-21 by lickitoff
He'd DEFINITELY rather go to NORTH Korea than South Korea. Especially if it was with the guys from VICCCCCCCCCCCE. Such an extreme traveler. So edgy. So original in his pursuits. Not HACK at ALL! Just reeeeeally, really INTO stuff like that! Go to North Korea...y'know...to people-watchhhhhh...
Ol' Yarn-Spinner tells the most unoriginal, hack story about chinese food. The same one all of your bullshitter friends have told: I loved this Chinese restaurant...annnnnd...I went there once (DIDJYA?) and there was NO DOUBT IN MY MIND that I was NOT eating chicken! But I dunno what the FUCK it was! But I was sick to my stomach IMMEEEEEEEEDIATELY! And it was because it was something I never ate before. That they were saying was CHICKEN! There was no way it was FUCKIN CHICKEN! It was like....GAMEY...like, it was like, holy FUCK! this is a foreign substance...and, and, and...coincedently the place closed down about a year later.
Such bullshit.
22 comments
17 K1bbler 2015-03-21
He wouldn't travel to the middle east because they would make him wear one of them bedsheets to cover up his titays.
8 _TheConsumer_ 2015-03-21
This was all from Thursday's show. It was the one show I caught this week - and it was utter dreck.
He came off as such a douche by nonchalantly saying, "I'd rather go to North Korea than South Korea - especially with the Vice crew."
This is the same guy who would throw a temper tantrum when he didn't get the breakfast he asked for. Also, the same guy who needed daily jello breaks, to even out his sugar so he wouldn't be cranky.
Good luck in North Korea, hard ass.
7 snoopkhat 2015-03-21
yeah,you had a couple of people shooting the shit about their world travel stories and the foods they have tried and Tits puts a stop to it with his made up Chinese food story.The story was essentially: I went out for dinner and ate something i didn't like!!!
the stupid cunt.
6 wifflebb 2015-03-21
Gotta give credit to Jimmy here, but I was fffffocking biting my own teeth when he was telling that story about the Chinese food. Everyone had the friend growing up - the one who would tell the urban myth as if it were his own story. How embarrassing. Especially such a hack urban myth.
5 keemers 2015-03-21
He's afraid of weed, but yeah, North Korea.
4 CookieHaid 2015-03-21
he started off his solo-show by relating one of JIMMY stories about getting blown by some chick who'd ridden a bus from Ohio to see him. He used it to spin the whole "we got chemistry" lie.
4 WhiteIsJustBetter 2015-03-21
Opie was freaked out going to wierd building tops and underground villages with Moses(not 100% sure if that's his name) imagine how he'd be in a censord completely foreign country where Nobody knew him and hates him because of his "American ways" he'd become a groveling geeky StreSsed to impress and feed his own empty pool of morality, he's become a fuckin twat and couldn't handle shit especially if heavy shit went down#paragraph #tequila
4 numba13 2015-03-21
Lol, he'd go to North Korea, but he wouldn't eat a dog. So full of shit.
6 xJaysusx 2015-03-21
Me: Those guys from Vicccce know how to get shit done. Sniff For real. I had the chance to go last time but my wife was sick and I needed to watch the kidsss. I would have walked right up to Kim Jong and said "YO, KIM JONG!!" It'd be so cool if he had a WOW sticker. Except he'd call it "Rip em out rendsdays". Ah FFFFUCK! I can't do an Asian accent anymore without an apology.
1 BeerCanThick 2015-03-21
This guy text messaged a police officer to get him milk because his blood sugar was getting "dangerously low."
SOS NEED MILK BADLY
But he thinks he would hack it in North Korea. He's such a blissful idiot.
3 BeerCanThick 2015-03-21
The hack I ate dog no totally for real I did at a Chinese restaurant urban legend story. I see Snopes is now a show source, not just Gawker websites and Daily News. if there is a Heaven, Patrice is wrinkling his nose up and saying, "Nigga, you're a liar but the worst part is that your lies are corny"
3 NJPoster 2015-03-21
I didn't notice he exaggerated stories until Reddit.
7 Lasagna_Hat 2015-03-21
The only thing worse than fake stories, is boring fake stories.
Like when he got a seatbelt ticket, then tore it up in front of the cop...
Or the time when he had Jury Duty and he "roasted" the attorney. The whole courtroom was cracking up, including the judge...
Or when his child escaped from his apartment and was riding the elevators...
The time when he returned some guys wallet...
These were all in 2012. It was either an hour of Ant's gun/Obama/Zimmerman rants, or an hour of Opie's folklore.
2 chris2webby 2015-03-21
then when Ant tried to talk about a hot topic in the news, such as the Zimmerman thing, you would hear Opie's Candy Crush game start up. Never in my life have I ever wanted to throw something out of a window so bad.
6 Chip--Chipperson 2015-03-21
Remember when he tried to return a guys wallet...lmao
3 LemonQuarks 2015-03-21
Did we find out what it was he ate? I bet it was pigeon!!
2 BeerCanThick 2015-03-21
I BET IT WAS A BIG JUCY PECKA
3 Patmcpsu 2015-03-21
I wouldn't consider "I want the Vice Crew to take me to North Korea" a lie. It's more like a 12 year old's daydream.
3 chris2webby 2015-03-21
one of these people that he "people-watches" needs to people-punch him in the face
2 little-pete-ferguson 2015-03-21
'Such an extreme traveler. So edgy.' That cawk-smoka Opie can't even travel to Long Island to visit an old pal!
3 CookieHaid 2015-03-21
You're just a buncha h8rz. Ope is too a world traveler; here's some proof:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ntSkAqAI5UU
2 breadmoccasin 2015-03-21
I've said it before, but I'll say it a hundred thousand fucking times, the most insulting thing Fat Tits does is make those videos, because they imply that someone gives a shit about him doing news anchor horseshit out in public, or better yet, paying a fat improv comic to go nuts on the subway. Fuck him.