Do you fat little nerds REALLY think you're affecting my livelihood? You aren't! Because none of you have the balls to do something that actually matters.

Go ahead. Prove me wrong. Somebody start a petition with a letter addressing every hateful and offensive thing I've ever said. Then get a bunch of signatures and forward the petition to every comedy venue that has booked me over the past year and demand that I never work there again.

I bet you won't do it. Pussies. My livelihood is in tact.

Egypt forever.