anybody writing for him means he has to be able to read. Doomed from the start.
We all saw what a good job he did with PalTalk and Instant Feedback. He'd either pick the worst written lines or butcher the quality ones and deliver them at the most unfortunate times with the reading grace of a grade schooler dragging a finger across the text and stammering words out phonetically.
He would still fuck that up too. Even if someone else is writing your lines, you still need timing and proper deliver. You see, because Opie has neither of those.
When Opie can't deliver your lines—and he can't—he'll lurch into a tard-rage and throw his crumbly sissy boob-gainz food at you.
(Imagine him struggling to read "crumbly sissy" off a prompt.)
The only next gig "I wrote for Opie" might get you is at Rockstar, and "I wrote for Rockstar" can't get you a next gig.
So it's a dead-end shit job for almost no money and no credit, working with a bunch of smugly illiterate know-nothing bullies. As a writer. Pumping out a line a minute, and they all land dead, mangled in the gears of Opie's head. Dozens every day.
Every day! And you know nobody's listening. Private hell.
Jimmy's barely surviving it, and he's fucking dumb and gets a couple grand just to show up and not kill anybody.
Somebody told me how much of a Brother Wease ripoff Opie is and I did not believe it until I heard the audio. He's essentially a Morning Zoo idiot with his heyday 20 years or more behind him. Everything else he just incorporates into that terrible base of being Brother Opie.
He's the world's shittiest hermit crab, forever stealing the worst aspects of people to add to his shell of shit. Like Ronnie B. He steals quirks of Ronnie's speech that I find to be annoying, quite honestly, and forgets to grab on to something like, "confident" or "well-informed" or "hard-working and driven to prepare for the show."
He wouldn't want to take credit for the line in case it's bad. So he did a lot of "Steve from Staten Island is saying...." Cuz if it bombed he's not to blame
Oh god, just in the old show clips I've listened to in the past few weeks... Opie would bomb and stop the flow of the show so BAD reading instant feedback. He couldn't judge what was funny and what wasn't. Ant did so much better with paltalk, AND he was funnier than it half the time.
If Opie had writers he would fuck that up too by taking those punchlines and attempt in his own way to try to make 'em funnier and better but in reality fucking 'em up and making the purpose of having writers feeding him lines completely counterproductive. That's what hacks do.
Oh yeah, they always know whats best and really "pump up that script." Its called the script for a reason, not the "say and do whatever the fuck you want."
Opie thinks what he has to say is more interesting. He seems to want the show to be about discussing the news and him stating his stance. He tries to shut down anything funny Jim or Sam start up.
"So Gregg, what is it that you would say you do here?"
"I take the jokes from writers and online fans and then I tell them."
"Couldn't the writer just directly say his or her own material? Why do they need you to take the jokes secondhand when they could just get them directly from the writer?"
Somebody told me how much of a Brother Wease ripoff Opie is and I did not believe it until I heard the audio. He's essentially a Morning Zoo idiot with his heyday 20 years or more behind him. Everything else he just incorporates into that terrible base of being Brother Opie.
He's the world's shittiest hermit crab, forever stealing the worst aspects of people to add to his shell of shit. Like Ronnie B. He steals quirks of Ronnie's speech that I find to be annoying, quite honestly, and forgets to grab on to something like, "confident" or "well-informed" or "hard-working and driven to prepare for the show."
45 comments
55 kdkid81 2015-02-06
He use to read lines off instant feed back but he would pick a shitty line that only he thought was funny or pick a good one then fuck it up.
18 [deleted] 2015-02-06
[deleted]
18 EskimoEscrow 2015-02-06
lol, that was the best. He would scour the list of funny observations and always manage to find the unfunny one.
7 nawtfunny 2015-02-06
ME: I can't kill the funny on my own....let's talk to Gerry in(town)
Gerry:atomic bomb
ME:He fucked it up....it was much better on instant feedback.
3 photonblaster9000 2015-02-06
thats bruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuutal
2 conchopeterpumper 2015-02-06
Pho writes what he thinks Jimmy would say, but his comments read very much like the Opster butchering something.
3 photonblaster9000 2015-02-06
tell us how ya really feel!
4 nawtfunny 2015-02-06
Stuttering muttering prick.
We all know you stink Greqq.
29 TheActor_GreggHughes 2015-02-06
Honestly, because he doesn't believe he's not funny.
2 nawtfunny 2015-02-06
This is bare-bones and to the point. Greqq is number 1, he's hilarious and he knows how to steer the show.
HATERS (I'm58 yrs. old)
19 BeerCanThick 2015-02-06
anybody writing for him means he has to be able to read. Doomed from the start.
We all saw what a good job he did with PalTalk and Instant Feedback. He'd either pick the worst written lines or butcher the quality ones and deliver them at the most unfortunate times with the reading grace of a grade schooler dragging a finger across the text and stammering words out phonetically.
13 vincents_picks 2015-02-06
He would still fuck that up too. Even if someone else is writing your lines, you still need timing and proper deliver. You see, because Opie has neither of those.
3 Dannyprecise 2015-02-06
Opie would be confused. He'd read what's written to himself and wonder how to address the statement, not realizing its a joke.
12 Pat_Battle_Storage 2015-02-06
What kind of asshole would take that job?
When Opie can't deliver your lines—and he can't—he'll lurch into a tard-rage and throw his crumbly sissy boob-gainz food at you.
(Imagine him struggling to read "crumbly sissy" off a prompt.)
The only next gig "I wrote for Opie" might get you is at Rockstar, and "I wrote for Rockstar" can't get you a next gig.
So it's a dead-end shit job for almost no money and no credit, working with a bunch of smugly illiterate know-nothing bullies. As a writer. Pumping out a line a minute, and they all land dead, mangled in the gears of Opie's head. Dozens every day.
Every day! And you know nobody's listening. Private hell.
Jimmy's barely surviving it, and he's fucking dumb and gets a couple grand just to show up and not kill anybody.
10 K1bbler 2015-02-06
Doesn't he already steal jokes, phrases, opinions and bits from people on the show and try pass them off as his own.
3 hookahreed 2015-02-06
Beautiful.
3 fattypigfatty 2015-02-06
Don't forget cadence and mannerisms.
4 BeerCanThick 2015-02-06
Somebody told me how much of a Brother Wease ripoff Opie is and I did not believe it until I heard the audio. He's essentially a Morning Zoo idiot with his heyday 20 years or more behind him. Everything else he just incorporates into that terrible base of being Brother Opie.
He's the world's shittiest hermit crab, forever stealing the worst aspects of people to add to his shell of shit. Like Ronnie B. He steals quirks of Ronnie's speech that I find to be annoying, quite honestly, and forgets to grab on to something like, "confident" or "well-informed" or "hard-working and driven to prepare for the show."
9 xxmikekxx 2015-02-06
He wouldn't want to take credit for the line in case it's bad. So he did a lot of "Steve from Staten Island is saying...." Cuz if it bombed he's not to blame
3 Threkin 2015-02-06
Steve from Bayshore, but your point still stands.
6 StevenBayShore 2015-02-06
Who?
5 luckbox181 2015-02-06
Steevaaaay
3 xxmikekxx 2015-02-06
I was trying to give a more vague made up thing. There was also the legendary Dan from Hoboken
8 faildoz3r 2015-02-06
Because he's arrogant, and can't see his own flaws.
8 CookieHaid 2015-02-06
Because he has the reading skills of an illiterate 5th-grader.
1 jackiefreitas 2015-02-06
With the timing and patience of a retarded 5th grade girl
5 havingmadfun 2015-02-06
Or have Sam do it like Sam did for Bobo and the other freaks.
7 -Palaver 2015-02-06
That's a good point. Even Bobo is funny when reading lines fed to him. Jelly tits can't even do that.
11 thrillated 2015-02-06
Knock it off, spade!
5 Djs3634 2015-02-06
He would interrupt ant and Jim's hilarious back and forth riffing with a line from instant feedback and get 0.
5 dxInt 2015-02-06
Oh god, just in the old show clips I've listened to in the past few weeks... Opie would bomb and stop the flow of the show so BAD reading instant feedback. He couldn't judge what was funny and what wasn't. Ant did so much better with paltalk, AND he was funnier than it half the time.
5 FresnoJefferson 2015-02-06
If Opie had writers he would fuck that up too by taking those punchlines and attempt in his own way to try to make 'em funnier and better but in reality fucking 'em up and making the purpose of having writers feeding him lines completely counterproductive. That's what hacks do.
3 BeerCanThick 2015-02-06
Oh yeah, they always know whats best and really "pump up that script." Its called the script for a reason, not the "say and do whatever the fuck you want."
3 rahtin 2015-02-06
Because he's not smart enough to run a show like that. He can't run 5 things at the same time while talking the way Howard does.
3 buttriot 2015-02-06
Opie thinks what he has to say is more interesting. He seems to want the show to be about discussing the news and him stating his stance. He tries to shut down anything funny Jim or Sam start up.
3 AngeloMacon 2015-02-06
To be fair to Howard, he has a sense of humor. Opie is a robot and would just read "I'm a homo" if someone passed it to him.
2 Nightkrawler49 2015-02-06
THAT'S THE BIT!
2 thrillated 2015-02-06
I thought it was confirmed that Sam did that?
5 TroyMacClure 2015-02-06
That would explain why Opie still isn't funny.
3 rahtin 2015-02-06
Sam & Danny used to come up with great lines for Bobo.
2 im_not 2015-02-06
At this point, outsourcing his every word to prep burger would be a terrific improvement
2 TaxDawg 2015-02-06
I can't see why anyone really funny would take the job as the person would likely get fired within a few months
2 opieanthonyjim 2015-02-06
It wouldn't fit the flow of the show. Or at least how O&A was, which is the only way Opie knows how to do a show.
2 NhaterJR 2015-02-06
I wonder if he feel bad cause Anthony didn't do that, he could've been stern you know
1 barrruuuch 2015-02-06
I've made this point, before. He should definitely look into that
1 nawtfunny 2015-02-06
Lot's of good answers here. kdkid82 wants in badly. Everyone who acknowledge Opie bombs is gone, FUCKFACE!
ME:I'm pretty sure I am the best part of the show. That's why I get top-billing.
1 nawtfunny 2015-02-06
Greqq is delusional Greqq thinks he is the draw to the show.
He thinks this because nobody has ever really shit on him.(In earnest gone to camp)
So greqq is convinced that he is a hilarious radio personality, he is the man. He knows all the angles, he is top-dog and you are a HATER!
He also loves Peckahs in his mouth.
1 nawtfunny 2015-02-06
uhhgsh heersh tha thinkg
Opie is delusional, he is convinced that he is the funniest man in the room.
This is Anthony and Jim's fault.
P.S. I would elaborate but we all know there is no need
1 BeerCanThick 2015-02-06
It would again be the Office Space Scenario.
"So Gregg, what is it that you would say you do here?"
"I take the jokes from writers and online fans and then I tell them."
"Couldn't the writer just directly say his or her own material? Why do they need you to take the jokes secondhand when they could just get them directly from the writer?"
"I HAVE PEOPLE SKILLS GODDAMMIT!"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nV7u1VBhWCE
1 [deleted] 2015-02-06
[deleted]
3 Threkin 2015-02-06
Steve from Bayshore, but your point still stands.
5 luckbox181 2015-02-06
Steevaaaay
4 BeerCanThick 2015-02-06
Somebody told me how much of a Brother Wease ripoff Opie is and I did not believe it until I heard the audio. He's essentially a Morning Zoo idiot with his heyday 20 years or more behind him. Everything else he just incorporates into that terrible base of being Brother Opie.
He's the world's shittiest hermit crab, forever stealing the worst aspects of people to add to his shell of shit. Like Ronnie B. He steals quirks of Ronnie's speech that I find to be annoying, quite honestly, and forgets to grab on to something like, "confident" or "well-informed" or "hard-working and driven to prepare for the show."