That last one makes me want to smash his fingers with a meat tenderizer. He sounds like a god damned fourteen year old. What a floppy breasted embarrasment.
That's a good one man. Personally, I wanted to heat the tip of a Philips Head screwdriver on the eye of a gas stove and use that to do calligraphy on his bald spot.
Of all of the funny people in the world a man as unfunny as Opie is the first mic for a comedy radio program... that is just astounding when you think about it.
I love how Opie tries to label himself a troublemaker for his outrageous tweets. Referring to the Ginsberg tweet he said, "I also got in trouble for that one." No, asshole. You didn't get in trouble. I checked out the responses he got for that tweet and not ONE person objected to it. Fucking liar.
"time to tie her to the top of the station wagon"...huh, not terrible
"What if your neighbor is a kid toucher?"...hey, I think he's getting better. I mean if he keeps moving into this direction...Maybe this is some turning point, ya know? wouldn't that be cool?
"...Has to smell his farts!"...ugh, why did you use an exclamation point? Are farts that crazy? how fucking old are you?
"...selfie"...Oh what the fuck! You're a 55 year old shock jock. Fuck you
I hate him. How dare he even make me think change was possible.
I hate how it's impossible not to read that in the Opester voice, with the word "buttTTT" going up at the end with the lilt of the faggot surfer douche he always wished he was.
I think I figured it out, Opie keeps reciting the Stuart Smalley mantra to himself: "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and dog gone it, people like me!"
(No you're not. Noooo you're not. No. They don't.)
Bad lines, all of them. His only good line all night was the picture of the old lady sleeping and he said "time to strap her to the top of the station wagon" . That was actually funny. Everything else was garbage.
It is so cute that he has been around brilliant comics for a decade so he thinks that makes him a comic, too. I always imagine a deranged Opster in the midst of some psychotic break with reality, frothing at the mouth about how he was "always the funny one" while he "crafts his gems" on Twitter.
That was one of the most absurd thing I ever heard. Opie pretending that he's a craftsman and talented comedic veteran using Twitter to "work out" or something, like a big time comic jumping on stage at the Cellar for 20 minutes. He's just a hard working gym rat and craftsman.
For me, there's almost nothing more embarrassing than when he does things like this. It shows his utter desperation to be funny like the people he's surrounded himself with all these years, but he's just not wired that way and refuses to accept it.
It's as sad as the wrestlers in Foxcatcher pretending to let the wimpy out of shape coach pin them. The coach thinks he's one of them.
66 comments
38 BrogueTrader40k 2015-01-21
That last one makes me want to smash his fingers with a meat tenderizer. He sounds like a god damned fourteen year old. What a floppy breasted embarrasment.
18 TroyMacClure 2015-01-21
It looks exactly like something that would come from The Todd Show account.
12 Cawdor 2015-01-21
Well have you ever seen Todd and Opie in the same room together? Maybe they are the same person.
Schinkle bout it
5 exophrine 2015-01-21
Hello, Mr. Biden? This is Dr. McFeelyBoobs! I wanna bite your fuckin' tits!
BAAAAAAU HUBADABA HIBUDU HU BOO HOW, HUBADABA HIBUDU HU BOO HOW JUGGA DUBBA RUBBA DUBBA
5 JoeBidenBot 2015-01-21
You Rang?
6 breadmoccasin 2015-01-21
That's a good one man. Personally, I wanted to heat the tip of a Philips Head screwdriver on the eye of a gas stove and use that to do calligraphy on his bald spot.
3 BrogueTrader40k 2015-01-21
Sop up all the blood with a bread moccasin!
5 Eternalforms 2015-01-21
oMg! ur like sooo jelly! #hatersgonnahate
22 kgt5003 2015-01-21
Of all of the funny people in the world a man as unfunny as Opie is the first mic for a comedy radio program... that is just astounding when you think about it.
3 xxmikekxx 2015-01-21
From what I've heard, "Mark says Hi" from the sirius comedy channel is terrible too
20 havingmadfun 2015-01-21
These are not even close to being funny. How does zero funny rub off on this guy over his 20 year career with being surrounded by funny people?
20 rottenseed 2015-01-21
Those are jokes my aunt would post to facebook after 2 glasses of white Zinfandel
5 Viking_Lordbeast 2015-01-21
Dude, Opie could be your aunt! How big are her tits?
18 JCP_1975 2015-01-21
I love how Opie tries to label himself a troublemaker for his outrageous tweets. Referring to the Ginsberg tweet he said, "I also got in trouble for that one." No, asshole. You didn't get in trouble. I checked out the responses he got for that tweet and not ONE person objected to it. Fucking liar.
21 breadmoccasin 2015-01-21
Totally demented and cannot be prevented!
7 Yaseetheo 2015-01-21
Some will be amused, some will be confused, some will be offended by the language that he used...
5 CookieHaid 2015-01-21
@ 00:00:52
"Sorry, this is 7-11. No one can help you!"?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zsdexwdImnk&t=52s
15 d3rtbag 2015-01-21
This is the guy making fun of Todd Pettengill. Not that I give a fuck about Todd but damn. They're basically the same person.
4 EndOfTheDigitalAge 2015-01-21
Photoshop-ass face
3 michaelcolestie 2015-01-21
Oh gawd
13 Lasagna_Hat 2015-01-21
"time to tie her to the top of the station wagon"...huh, not terrible
"What if your neighbor is a kid toucher?"...hey, I think he's getting better. I mean if he keeps moving into this direction...Maybe this is some turning point, ya know? wouldn't that be cool?
"...Has to smell his farts!"...ugh, why did you use an exclamation point? Are farts that crazy? how fucking old are you?
"...selfie"...Oh what the fuck! You're a 55 year old shock jock. Fuck you
I hate him. How dare he even make me think change was possible.
7 PrinceCharmin 2015-01-21
He's a 50 year old, with the sense of humor of a 10 year old.
12 dochattan 2015-01-21
Did you hear Tommy Chong put weed in his butt?!
4 packitchofsositch 2015-01-21
I hate how it's impossible not to read that in the Opester voice, with the word "buttTTT" going up at the end with the lilt of the faggot surfer douche he always wished he was.
3 ONAFan2014 2015-01-21
And he attacked Stern for thinking he can go off on his own without Jackie the Jokeman.
That's what happens. A vital part of the show leaves, and the host thinks he's King Shit.
11 chippersonlyle 2015-01-21
It really thinks it's a comedian.... it's kind of sad actually...
10 snoopkhat 2015-01-21
He's communicating with maybe 50 people.He bought 300 000 followers! has he forgotten that 300 000 of his followers are fake!?!
9 kageside 2015-01-21
He keeps saying they made people mad, because they were so offensive. when really they make people mad b/c he is an idiot.
1 no_one_inparticular 2015-01-21
They probably made some people mad, but not for the reason he thinks.
7 xxmikekxx 2015-01-21
It makes me angry at all the comics who go on the show for not calling out this hack shit ever
6 ONAFan2014 2015-01-21
Why bother?
7 breadmoccasin 2015-01-21
This is worse than the screencap of the tweets that got Ant fired.
7 cajunjack55 2015-01-21
At first I thought he was doing a bit like Colin, but then I realized he really was trying to be funny.
7 Holzmann 2015-01-21
He deserves a good Singaporian caning for each one of these.
5 BeerCanThick 2015-01-21
A really vicious one where the ass cheeks tear apart.
5 Holzmann 2015-01-21
He'd probably fart if they caned his butt lol!! #edgydadhumor
6 RaiderRush2112 2015-01-21
Yikes...losing Ant has really made him more desperate
6 regis69 2015-01-21
Good one...Chip?
6 EskimoEscrow 2015-01-21
Ewww you guys! He said smelling farts!
2 thrillated 2015-01-21
I demand an apology.
5 ciggybreath 2015-01-21
ugh
5 IggysGlove 2015-01-21
I guarantee you opie has paid people for giving him twitter jokes. Probably just the bacon sundae pig. But there could be others.
5 breadmoccasin 2015-01-21
I think I figured it out, Opie keeps reciting the Stuart Smalley mantra to himself: "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and dog gone it, people like me!"
(No you're not. Noooo you're not. No. They don't.)
5 Slette 2015-01-21
I just re-read them... they're not even clever. He was even proud enough of his selfie joke to bring it to the show this morning.
2 stinkskc 2015-01-21
Fucking seriously?
5 opieanthonyjim 2015-01-21
Bad lines, all of them. His only good line all night was the picture of the old lady sleeping and he said "time to strap her to the top of the station wagon" . That was actually funny. Everything else was garbage.
5 Battler4321 2015-01-21
The scary part is that he probably erased far shittier tweets than this. I sorta feel sorry for Puddin' Tits, he's just not a funny man.
5 [deleted] 2015-01-21
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1 [deleted] 2015-01-21
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5 BeerCanThick 2015-01-21
It is so cute that he has been around brilliant comics for a decade so he thinks that makes him a comic, too. I always imagine a deranged Opster in the midst of some psychotic break with reality, frothing at the mouth about how he was "always the funny one" while he "crafts his gems" on Twitter.
That was one of the most absurd thing I ever heard. Opie pretending that he's a craftsman and talented comedic veteran using Twitter to "work out" or something, like a big time comic jumping on stage at the Cellar for 20 minutes. He's just a hard working gym rat and craftsman.
4 Slette 2015-01-21
Is he trying too hard, or not trying hard enough. Either way, not an ounce of humor or charm to be found in those tweets.
6 jakdak 2015-01-21
Too hard on social media. Not hard enough on his day job.
3 Jinkla 2015-01-21
Too hard on both.
4 BlumpietheCropDuster 2015-01-21
Has there ever been someone so delusional regarding their talent/level of funny before? Maybe Todd Pettengill is one
4 DapperDan0979 2015-01-21
"It's just a dumb, little, stupid, nothing meaningless tweet you DOPE.
Nice try with the hate tho."
9 NiceTryWithTheH8Tho 2015-01-21
¯\(ツ)/¯
4 chippersonlyle 2015-01-21
On the show today he said those got him in trouble. What does that even mean?
4 Weirdfellas 2015-01-21
For me, there's almost nothing more embarrassing than when he does things like this. It shows his utter desperation to be funny like the people he's surrounded himself with all these years, but he's just not wired that way and refuses to accept it.
It's as sad as the wrestlers in Foxcatcher pretending to let the wimpy out of shape coach pin them. The coach thinks he's one of them.
3 TroyMacClure 2015-01-21
The only amusing one is by Patton Oswalt's brother.
3 buttriot 2015-01-21
I'm so embarrassed right now.
3 thefirebuilds 2015-01-21
Chippah hacked his account?
3 DianaKurlan5 2015-01-21
Ooofff...
3 ucfgavin 2015-01-21
Those are just.....so, so bad
3 Skip4play 2015-01-21
"One of these has to go viral, these are GOLD!"
2 KANEWTSKI 2015-01-21
oufff
2 Moxson4 2015-01-21
We are very lucky to be able to hear those great 2nd Grade jokes from Opie! He abandoned his career as a model to tell dick & fart jokes for living
2 turdthief 2015-01-21
Its as if Helen Bergeron is writing these
1 FatJewFromMiami 2015-01-21
Well, I'm finally sold on the "Chip is based on Opie" theory that's been floating around for however long.
5 Viking_Lordbeast 2015-01-21
Dude, Opie could be your aunt! How big are her tits?