Ant gets it

137  2015-01-16 by [deleted]

118 comments

Ant wants in, BADLY.

Some might say he's "all in" with the Opie Raqio hate.

Man!

BEAUTIFUL

Well he'd be welcomed with open arms

Yes he'd fit right in with morons

good one chip.

Including yourself.

Come on. This is it. You just won championship of opie and anthony internet comments. Congratulations!

Thank you. For this, I feel I've earned myself a couple plugs of my shitty podcast, which I've disseminated throughout a few threads. (But I won't push my luck too hard. Just a taste. Just to get up my numbaaahs. Coffee mugs coming soon.)

To be fair I posted that before I read the epic story underneath. You just lost your championship on your first title defense.

What "epic story?" Fuck you then, I'm taking my upvote back!

Champions lose too. Don't be a bitch about it.

YOURE being the bitch, bitch. You HATE US cause you AINT US.

"What can you expect when you're on top, you know? It's just like Napoleon when he was the king, people would constantly try to conquer him. In the Roman empire. So it's...history repeating itself. All OVER again." - D Diggler

Im gonna keep on rockin n rollin, man.

Keep on trucking

So... isn't this great?

See what this guy did? He dragged us ALL to hell with his negativity. Now we're all getting downvoted. Everything was going fine.

"Vegas..paradise...we really managed to fuck it alllll up." (Cue "Casino" titles)

It was Friday. The 16th of January. The year was 2015.

The users of the Opie and Anthony subreddit were going about their business. It was yet another uneventful day with all the usual posts and tropes. Threads pointing out Opies various flaws. Videos with timestamps pointing to a moment Opie had done wrong.

The subreddit had been overrun with "the haters" since the death of Thermitepaint. He had tried for so long to defend the one thing he loved : Gregg "Opie" Hughes. For months he had slaved over his keyboard on a quest to defend "The Opester (@OpieRadio)" against the dreaded and feared "haters".

For about 4 months, Opie would sit in front of his computer, and when he wasn't attempting to put up those numbers by uploading various hastily edited videos to his youtube channel, he would read through the O and A subreddit for hours. Every flaw. Every bad habit. Every interruption. All had been posted hundreds of times every single day. But management loved the new direction of the show, so Opie remained confident that the haters wouldn't win. Besides, he still had Anthony and Jim, and they were brutally honest. They would surely tell him if anything was wrong with the programme and they hadn't said a thing. He had been doing this since he was 18, and neither Anthony or Jimmy had told him that he had any of these flaws whatsoever. To him it was clear that it was all just apart of the hater agenda.

But on that fateful Friday, things changed. It could have been just another day. Opie scrolled through the daily hate threads, and listened to the daily timestamped youtube clips. He glanced at the sidebar picture of Ethan Hawke. "Fuckin' hater. I've been doin this fuckin' shit since I was 18. Who the fuck is Ethan Hawke anyway? I'd rather talk about flu shots than his dumb movie that I've never heard of".

He stepped away from his computer and remained as depressed as usual. "Have you been looking at that fuckin' hater site again?" His wife Lynsi asked angrily. "I told you that these fuckin' DOPES don't know how a radio show works. You've been doing this fuckin' shit since you were 18!".

"I fuckin' know you DUMB BROAD!" Opie fired back furiously ; "IM SO SICK OF THE LIES!!! HOW ABOUT YOU CALL BAM AND ASK HIM ABOUT HOW A RADIO SHOW WORKS?!!"

Lynsi stood shocked, most likely by Opies quick wit and seering burn. Her eyes welled up.

"I'm starting to think that you're just another part of the fuckin' hater agenda. Whatever, I'm goin' to F.H. Rileys with the Philly Crew, I don't know when I'll be back and I don't really care. You're just another fuckin' hater like the rest of 'em."

Hours later, Opie returned home. He was heavily intoxicated and the Philly crew had all returned to their homes. Lynsi and the children were nowhere to be seen, but he was too drunk to care. He stumbled upstairs to his computer, as was his custom. He clicked on a bookmark at the top of his browser that led him to the subreddit he had obsessed over for months on end. He was used to that hate by now, he knew what to expect. "Lets see what todays problem is..." he slurred drunkenly.

But as the front page of the sub loaded, he noticed the title of the first post ; "Ant gets it".

"Heh, at least Ant knows what the hate is like, all these haters are just nobodies anyway...just random dopes on the internet, no one I know.."

A sudden realisation had washed over him. For the first time in months, Opie felt happiness. Even in his drunk state, it meant everything to him. "Yeah...These fucking haters are just nobodies!!! I'm not the only one getting the hate, Anthony is in this with me! These hater sites don't even fucking matter! I'm gonna change m...."

But before he had the chance to finish his life changing epiphany, he caught a glance of the image that had loaded on his screen. A screenshot.

"What the fuck is this?..."

Opie read the content of the image and his heart sank in his chest. It was a comment from Anthony. In reply to hate comment, he had written "nice try on the hate tho".

Opie stared at the screen devastated. His emotional anguish was only amplified by the large quantities of alcohol in his sytem. He had read the hater site long enough to know when he was being mocked. He knew the phrases and he knew when he saw the hater agenda memes.

"Anthony...he's...just another fuckin' hater..."

It was the first time in history that Anthony had anything but praise for Opie. The subreddit celebrated. It's threads blew up with happiness that Anthony had come to their side. They had won.

So heavy was the anguish that Opie felt in his heart, that he immediately stumbled off his chair and ran to his attic. He wasn't thinking clearly, and alcohol was not the cause. Tears ran down his face. It was the first time he had cried since the filming of the Philly Crew ritual years ago, which has since gone viral.

"Anthony, Lynsi, Jimmy, Father Doris...EVEN FUCKIN' SNOWY FROM MICHIGAN!!!...ALL APART OF THE HATER AGENDA!!!" He screamed loud to the sound of reverb from an empty house.

He pulled down the ladder that led to the attic. It had been the resting place of radio history. The WNEW tapes, lost bits, and bra bombing audio...all lay in one chamber.

It would be an appropriate final resting place for him. If it had to happen somewhere, it would be there.

Opie reached into one of many cardboard boxes and grabbed one of the hundreds of unsold "Child of the 80's" t-shirts that had been waiting to be shipped to eager fans worldwide. He grabbed a marker that layed beside another pile of boxes.

He layed out the t-shirt on the floor so the back would face up. And on it, he wrote what would be his final words. His suicide note.

It read : "ME: its so sad that I have to explain to the DUMMIES why im taking my own life. Me and Ant have done years of radio together and now he's just apart of the fuckin' hater agenda?!!!! IM SO SICK OF THE LIES!!!!. Im going to put up a rope on the attic ceiling and im going to use it to end my life by hanging, and THATS THE BIT you fuckin DOUCHEBAG. Life has passed me by. I'm not gonna linger any longer. Punchin' out - @Opieradio. PERIOD.

HOLD ON!!! HOLD ON!!! HOLD ON!!! I've got my wife Lynsi on the line tryna talk me out of it and she wants in bad....Lynsaaayy?"

Your phone cut out ... can you repeat what you just said?

I read this in Sleeves voice. Falalala

100/10, I read and enjoyed every rotten word. The ending is hysterical.

I would still have loved ending it with "your mom's box". a tragic poetic ending

Is it wrong I read that in Stacey Keach's voice? 10/10. A++

I did too.

I have honestly never laughed so hard so many times at a short little piece like that. I am drunk but you could have killed me.

Amazing. Amazing stuff. Hopefully opie is as bad at suicide as he is a radio, and we can continue to follow his adventures perhaps in a dedicated thread.

Morgan Freeman should narrate this. It could also be an episode of Masterpiece Theater.

That was incredible.

Someone with money should give you gold.

Do luxury apartments in Manhattan have attics?

All fan-lore should require a TL;DR

E rock ? Fan fiction?

RAMONNNEEEEE... WHO DO YOU EXPECT TO READ THIS SHIT.

This is the most pathetic thing I've ever seen. I got 3 lines into it and thought why the fuck would someone spend time writing all of this.

Tell us how you really feel

I love that Anthony reads this sub and knows about the Opie hate.

So does jimmy

So does Opie.

Sam doesn't know..

Posada knew...

sam is cute

I bet u wanna fuck his Afro like a hairy pussy

He can't read, of course

no question.

Unfortunately he seems to read right past all the suggestions/criticisms of TACS.

No, I see it all.

Rekt

Can you just save Jimmy? Please?

You fuckin' BURIED that cocksucker!

ahhh he's everywhere!

that was awesome. i havent listened to a single minute of sirius since the change btw. fuck them.

liar

fair enough, but, no, honestly. for one I live in Vegas now so they're done by 7am. also I cancelled when sirius fired Ant simply so I could tell them why. but more than that, after listening for like 8 years, it was pretty obvious the show was gonna be insufferable with Opie on his own. which kills me to say because I used to write a website they would mention now and then (I've been on the show, I have the direct number, they follow me on twitter, etc.), and Opie has personally been nothing but nice to me.

I used to listen to Stern, then fell in love with Jimmy on 'Tough Crowd' and switched over because of Ant and Patrice and Little Yimmy. Opie was good at setting the table and directing traffic (more or less) but, on his own, he's simply not smart or fast enough to keep up with Jimmy and fill the other half of the conversation.

listening to a show like that, after what it was with Ant and Patrice and Burr and Louie, would just be depressing.

Go back to Baton Rouge... er sumthin', mais cha

I wish your show was incredibly successful so Jimmy would stay on it

fawkin vooted

Go to break piggy boy!

On a side note, I don't know what to make of your username

side note what is there a front note or sumthin? tss tss

good one chip

Steal Jimmy and Ill sub!

Ahoy-hoy, bored out on the island tonight? Mingling on the old reddit?

This is the best, subtle response I've ever seen on Reddit.

Keep up the great work on TACS. Been listening since the beginning.

Could you be any more over-the-top sycophantic? So embarrassing.

Appropriate username

Ant, I miss you so much. I canceled my XM and now I listen to the preview channel. I hear the morning mashup crew and I cry because no one is smashing them. I cry because you're not here to accuse Nicole of being a size queen. I don't know how to move on from here.

Here's how to move on

 

I hope this show reference didn't make you cry.

Suddenly I feel much better. Have an upvote

[deleted]

Even when we're in the bathroom? How dare you, sir!

[deleted]

Okay. Why do you operate from 4-6pm?

Do you realize how inconvenient of a time that is for every one of us regular stiffs with a 9-5 job?

Seriously 5-7 or 6-8 would make things so much better.

Actually, he operates from 1-3PM PST. You just make it work.

Because in the words of the Lizard King, "You go to war with the Army you have... not the Army you wish you had."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U_tpZf62opw

And you do nothing to address the suggestions/criticisms. You're more sensitive than Opie.

I disagree with this.

Basically you were bad mouthing the God-Father right the fuck behind you.

Put that shit on a coffee mug.

the whole screencap yes

Let me get a taste of that action. Or I'll sue... Sue everyone.

Management is happy with the new direction of the show Anthony, numbers are up. Nice try with the hate tho..

hahahahahaha I miss Ant.

It has to make him feel good that the show fucking tanked once he left and that a lot of us miss the cranky old fuck

You could always check out TACS, the shows with guests are the better ones. However even on one of his bad days I am not getting angry like I do when that oblivious queen tramples something brilliant or tries to sell me on the mush mouth tub of shit reading something being a clever bit.

I have a subscription to the TACS just don't always have time to watch/listen. The show on Sirius was perfect for my Hour long commute

Download the show to your phone. 2 hours commuting a day equals a show a day. Then make a note if there's any bits that you felt like you were missing out on, and when u get time, u can go back and watch.

It's more or less how I stay caught up on the show daily.

You could always check out the hit podcast Lookin GOOD Radio too, it's free on itunes. www.lookingoodradio.com

now that is the bit.

Ant doesn't owe opie anything. They both made each other successful and owe each other there careers and so they're even in that sense. Anthony doesn't owe opie anything. If anything, opie owes ant since he was the talented one.

Regardless, I just hope anthony doesn't pull a Bennington and just blindly support opie no matter what.

Ant blew up the show...that he created. Without Ant, Opie is single, self-medicating his depression over being a business failure with bacon cheeseburgers and malt liquor and playing Stevie Ray Vaughan records at 10 at night. Ant made the show. It was his to break.

All Ant ever did was give 20 years of multimillionaire success to Opie. Ant getting fired didn't even cost Opie money. It got him a pay raise! All Ant has done since 1994 was make this no-talent and lackwit money hand over fist.

Enough with "Ant blew up the show" arguments. They make no sense.

bacon cheeseburgers and malt liquor and playing Stevie Ray Vaughan records at 10 at night

So what you're saying is he would be me. Shit, that would be a massive improvement.

Pretty dead on. Only criticism is that their chemistry together drove the show. That never died. I remember during the past two years I wouldb be disappointed if jimmy wasn't going in the next day for a TV taping or something or another. But then the next show happened with just Opie and Anthony and the show was as funny or even funnier than without jimmy. Fucking chemistry never died. They were great together and there's no denying that.

To be fair, without Opie, Anthony would have ended up like his brother or Perrynoid.

If anything, opie owes ant since he was the talented one.

If there was no anthony, nobody would even know who opie is

Mickey J would. (RIP) #GawdLuvIm

They both owe each other for their shared success in radio. Opie had the foot in the door show and Ant had the talent for them to start getting noticed. Then Jimmy added even more funny by himself and then even more by his talented comic friends. It all came together at the right time to make the show we all loved and followed for many years.

basically opie had his foot in the door, opened it for anthony, and then had the door slammed shut on opie himself

Without Opie ant would be a fat old man, living in a trailer, duplex, or row house and probably dead from drinking too much by now.

He owes his riches to Opie, without ant Opie would have still been in radio and probably a program director still making decent money.

Hate it if you want but one would be fine and the other would be dead.

Attributing Opie getting Anthony into radio is fair because that's how it happened. But if Anthony weren't talented, Opie would have ignored him. And the fact is, if Anthony continued trying to get into radio with his talent, he eventually would have been noticed by someone.

Imagine you're a guy doing a relatively pedestrian radio show, and along comes this wild card that has people actually talking about your show in ways and in a quantity that they hadn't before. It's either going to be you who latches on to that....or it's going to be someone else.

No one in this equation owes more to the other. Atari once hired Steve Jobs to make Breakout...but Steve Jobs didn't owe Apple to Atari.

There are people that would have just happened one way or the other. I think Cumia is one of them. But he's no Steve Jobs. I don't care if he does have his name on his own poker table, he's no Steve Jobs.

Without Opie, Ant would be right where he is now. Opie would be in Rochester doing shit radio with brother weeze, and some other talentless FM rock DJ would be in Opie's current position. Opie was absolutely the most useless replaceable person out of the Opie, Anthony and Jimmy trio.

Hey don't disrespect Rochester motherfucker!

Anthony is killing for us today.

[deleted]

Coincidence.

Shots fired!

Sorry for being out of the loop, where was this confirmed to be him?

He said it on a show this week, I think it might have been Tuesday.

ah ok thanks

Holy shit, Cumia fires his first missile.

He's got so much pent up Opie rage he can taste it.

Jesus dude! Turn on your fucking night mode! I'm almost blind now!

Management is happy with the display on my phone, nice try with the hate tho.

[deleted]

Wow those fans of his just want to gargle on cum

Well, you know they've got individual follicles...

ant is such a passive agressive douche, if he doesnt like opie just come out with it instead of these lame jabs, he doesnt have an excuse he works for himself and barley leaves his house.

idk im just so sick of both of these shows, they both suck, and ive come to realize there is so much better shit to listen to. the fact that both of these shitty shows expect you to pay for them and you might get a couple of laughs, instead you can listen to a ton of free podcasts that are ten times more funny.

this is like an aging sports legend sticking around too much and the fans not wanting to face the facts and let go.

LET GO

Or alternatively, he just is having fun participating in our inside joke.

Not everything has to be all serious pal.

You don't think his points are invalid and analogies completely stupid, do you?

I only read/responded to the first line. Didnt bother with the rest

CUNTYMOM: Leave it alone...

Ant was just making a joke and getting a rise out of people, you autistic retard.

Can you suggest some quality podcasts?

The Anthony Cumia Show.

Robert Kelly's Podcast, The Joe Rogan Experience and SleepyCabin are all pretty funny to me

Yeah, check out Lookin GOOD Radio, it's free on itunes. Fucking great show. They talk about tits, and pussies. And fast cars. www.lookingoodradio.com

Hi Opie. It's spelled barely

[deleted]

[deleted]

You could always check out the hit podcast Lookin GOOD Radio too, it's free on itunes. www.lookingoodradio.com

Download the show to your phone. 2 hours commuting a day equals a show a day. Then make a note if there's any bits that you felt like you were missing out on, and when u get time, u can go back and watch.

It's more or less how I stay caught up on the show daily.

I bet u wanna fuck his Afro like a hairy pussy

side note what is there a front note or sumthin? tss tss

Management is happy with the display on my phone, nice try with the hate tho.