I think this subreddit spends too much time focusing on Opie's duplicity and sensitivity when the core problem has always been that he's just an idiot.

He's a babyheaded, pig-eyed buffoon who should be whipped with a belt for reading the news with the charisma of a 5th grader reading Shakespeare.

ep-i-tome

Fuch-i-tive. Patrice killed him for that one.

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Until a few months back I hadn't missed a show since the late 90's.

For a period in the early XM days, whenever Greggshells was befuddled when attempting to read a commonplace word he used the excuse "I haven't had my coffee yet".

That excuse is no more - last I heard it was up to Sam to confirm that the offending fourth-grade vocab term was, in fact, an English word.

So...SUNY sucks, as does our intrepid, aged fool.

I'm no brainiac and I didn't go to school for communication or broadcasting, but I'm damn near certain that "whenevers" and "anywheres," among so many other words, aren't pluralised as Opie so often is inclined to pluralize. I have to assume a grammar class was apart of his education. I'd love to see his grades.

Every time he says 'it's not anywheres near' I cringe so hard. This is like a four year old's understanding of language.

Is that verbal crutch possibly part of local slang? I don't know shit about long island so I'm just guessing here.

It's definitely a Jersey/Long Island/New York colloquialism, but it's found almost exclusively among white trash morons and is judged harshly even here.

I'm from the Geneseo area and, actually, SUNY Geneseo is the toughest SUNY school to get accepted into out of high school. Shocking, I know.

Who cares about being literate when you're a math savant that has put up some serious numbers?

All that matters is that management likes the new direction of the show. Nice try on the hate though.

check out the empties man

http://youtu.be/2X9E9n6GHC8

I'll continue to say it, Opie is the Fredo of Comedy. Everybody likes Michael (Ant and Jim) more.

He was PASSED OVER!

Partly true. But it's worse than that. I think he also acts dumber and more ignorant than he is to seem like one of the cool kids. That's the bit.

Good work detective. He has the reading skills of a bonobo.

For a sec I thought you said 'a bobo', which would have been giving him far too much credit.

Him and Jim are fucking illiterate.

The only way I can explain their deafening silence after Ant tweeted his bullshit, way to treat someone who lined your fucking coffers.

I once heard an interview with the mythbusters they admitted they were not friends and did not get along, but they respected each other abilities, and what they did for each others career over the years. They don't have Opies ego, apparently.

Opie is a fucking phony, and Jim is a fucking worm who I am still not sure if I like or hate him...

*He and Jim are fucking illiterate.

Respectfully, my literacy is not up for review here, sir.

I am a dumbfuck road construction worker.

I am barely smart enough to be a flagger.

He sounds like a child reciting Bible verses at a Christmas pageant. My favorite Opie vocabulary meltdown was when he almost died trying to read the word "malevolent." If Jim wasn't there to save Opie's life, Opie's head would have exploded like a robot that was presented a paradox.

"This sentence is not true."

BOOM!

All opie has to say is "i'm dyslexic" and suddenly he's a cool tortured soul with a disability he's managed to overcome to the extent he's a millionaire minor radio celebrity.

Opie's stupid doesn't end with just reading though so I'm not going to buy it if he finally uses the dyslexic defence.

Mah-j (mage).

When has Opie ever used the word mage?

Opie reads prep sheet and finds out music guest plays World of Warcraft. Louis CK starts comapring MMOs to real life, that they're both horseshit at the end of the day. Opie interrupts with a caller's feedback mentioning they're nerds and while they were leveling up their bloodelf mahj/image he was learning how to unfasten a bra.

This is exactly what this Subreddit needed. Another analytical post dissecting Opie like the overly obsessed ex we all sound like, when talking about him. He's a radio guy who's had a lot of success and made most of us laugh for most of 20 years, that's all he is.

If Opie read as badly as Bonnie did at the DeRosa roast Sirius would put him on sabbatical. He's got the vocabulary of a 14 year old in 1983 but his literacy is satisfactory.

He pronounces "clitoris" as "cli-TORE-us". Is that an east coast thing?