Jimmy's ex-girlfriend, Chelsea Peretti, is having an incredible year. How does Jimmy feel about this and why is it jealousy?

15  2014-12-27 by janedoe2893

101 comments

Poor Jimmy, he's a millionaire who is routinely referred to as a legend by other comics. What a failure.

There are also comics who routinely call Bob Levy the best club comic alive. Complimenting someone is just something other comics do to be polite. It's like when they call somebody a "comic's comic." It's a generic compliment given from one comic about another. Anyone would trade being called a "legend" for actually being a legend and having great success. Also celebrity net worth says Jimmy is worth 5 million and every time a celebrity talks about that site they say it wildly overestimates their worth so I dunno if Norton is actually a millionaire or not.

Here's a little decoder: Great club comic = comic who doesn't get offered to work anywhere outside of clubs. Great crowd worker = guy who doesn't write new material often. Legend = guy who doesn't have a lot of success but is well liked. Comic's comic = guy who isn't really well-received by audiences.

Well, a 1 bedroom in trump tower on 5th avenue starts at 2.4M. I don't know if that's necessarily the building he's in, but I'd guess he's at least worth a million or two. I just don't get the need people feel to act like Jim's such a failure. He's not mainstream...but he talks about blowing people as a child, so how mainstream can he really get.

He's not in 5th ave, he's on Riverside Blvd. still really nice.

Kind of surprising how easily i just found Norton's full address going off of this info.

You could have found it faster by posting on T4M on Craigslist.

Haha, definitely. Throw BBC in at the end and it's a lock.

It's not a matter of him being a failure. He sees himself as a failure. If you make a living in comedy you aren't a failure. It isn't easy. The problem with him is that he feels like he should be much bigger than he is and his jealousy shines thru whenever other comics who were his peers or beneath him pass him by.

If Jimmy ever thought of himself as successful, his stand up career would be over. His whole shtick is that he's a nobody and shits all over himself.

Have you watched his most recent stand up special? His new schtick is that he fancies himself a current-events guy/smart comic. He doesn't really trash himself as much anymore.

Oh god, so it's just like the show? I don't much like Jim's actual stand up in the first place, so I'm not sure I should subject myself to it...

No way. People go out of their way to do it for Norton. Joe Rogan is in awe of his technical ability.

Joe Rogan has also called Bryan Callen the funniest motherfucker alive. And then he called Joey Diaz the funniest motherfucker alive. And he has also called Bert Kreischer the funniest motherfucker alive. (basically he exaggerates shit about comics he is friends with). And what technical ability is he referring to? Norton's technical ability is his worst asset. That's what he mocks about himself. He doesn't know what to do with his hands. He blinks like he has something stuck in his eye. He mugs for the camera and to the audience after saying a punchline. His technical ability is shit. (unless you were being sarcastic and I missed it).

This is true. I am an advocate of Jim against all odds, but the one thing you can never give him props for his his technical ability.

Joe rogan is another funny guy who is awful at standup and has awful taste in it.

Ehh...shiny happy jihad and monkeys in outer space were both good. It slid downhill after that. And Joey Diaz is a funny fucking dude.

No they aren't. Not particularly.

Different strokes man. In my opinion it's much funnier than Jimmy's stuff, but on my scale that's not tough.

Levy is pretty fucking funny, though.

These are only people who need to be on the show

He's not a millionaire.

He owns an apartment in a Trump building, works for a show that probably pays pretty damn well (but maybe less than a mil a year), and does constant stand up on top of it.

What do you base your fairly ridiculous opinion on?

He's got to play Tempe, AZ for $20 in order to pay his mortgage. He's working poor.

He doesn't have a mortgage...been paid off for a while, it was discussed on the show years ago. As for Tempe, he tours. That's what comics do. I saw him at the stress factory last year and it was packed. Don't kid yourself...He does pretty well.

Have you ever been to the area? It's not a Jim type of area.

Still fun to know my shitty punk band got paid better there than Jim did.

He makes over $1 million per year. That might not technically make him a millionaire, but that works for most of us.

Ant has said on TACS that he was making millions per year at SXM, and Opie and Jim both got raises. So the real question is, is Opie enough of a douchebag to take a raise from Ant's old salary while Jimmy gets table scraps?

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It's Slate. She's number one because they wanted a photogenic women for the number one spot because of misogyny or something...

I'm probably the only one who thought this list stunk. That said, if it were a legit top 100 list of comics with a funny standup, I still don't think Jimmy would make the cut. It's always been weird to me how funny Jimmy is on the air and nowhere else.

Yup. Watched his recent special and didn't even chuckle. He doesn't have the personality to do a solo thing. Same goes with the Vice show. Otherwise he works great on the talk show format.

He's like Norm Macdonald. Saw Norm's latest stand up and it was really bad. I wanted to like it so much but it didn't work.

But Norm in the right setting is the greatest. It's this weird thing where some of these people are amazing in interviews and podcasts and guest-spots - they're masters at improv and riffing - but they can't make a decent act. Maybe that is their spot. Norton is a great interview-and-riffing guy but sucks in stand-up specials. Maybe that's his zone.

And don't feel sorry for them, cause they can still fill a room and make money and find their audience and be happy, but I don't think they can break through to that next level. Not unless there's some big change that happens.

I know it's your opinion and all, but I fucking loved "Me doing standup", if that's the special you're talking about. I really wouldn't call it bad.

Yeah that was the one. Maybe I need to see it again. I just finished it the other day. I like his style, but I think his style is best suited to being reactionary, and in the moment. He kept that same style with his bits and it didn't work for me. But fuck me, maybe I'm a nazi pedophile, who care what I think.

it's been a long time since i've seen that special but if that's the one where he opens with talking about having a heart attack i thought that was hilarious. Sadly, i liked it more than any of Jimmy's sets.

Maybe it's just not your thing, man

Me Doing Standup is incredible. Such a ballsy, dark, but unrelentingly hilarious hour. Most of the act is about death and murder but the comedy does not suffer, it is actually somehow enhanced.

I thought Norm's latest special was brilliant.

I agree.

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Slate is basically Heeb central and Peretti is a Jew and looks like one too.

You're close. It's lib central and she's a lib.

Not everyone can be a fan of tranny jokes coupled with morse code-like blinking patterns

He is blinking S.O.S.

Another opener act who looked up to Jimmy and then ROARED past him career wise. Much like Amy Schumer but this time she seems like the only long term relationship prospect he had which has to amplify the bitterness tenfold. Peretti was his one real opportunity to stop being a sex addicted, lonely, family-free creep and he wasted that one real chance.

Now Norton is on a sinking ship of a show and Peretti is getting accolades and name drops left and right. It is only a matter of time until she gets a show or really blows up in a movie.

Reminds me of the time they had Dane Cook on the show when he had two back to back shows at the boston garden. A bunch of other comics were in that day, and they were breaking his balls. then one of them jokingly asked, "How the hell did you ever get so successful" or something to that nature. Dane responded with, "I stopped hanging around that back table at the cellar." They all nervously laughed, and proceeded to bicker amongst themselves for the rest of the show.

At least jimmy will always have that table.

Peretti was his one real opportunity to stop being a sex addicted, lonely, family-free creep and he wasted that one real chance.

That's a really great observation. She was his last chance at a real relationship.

I thought this once myself, but then threw it away because I have no actual knowledge or insight on their relationship. Maybe she cheated on him, I never heard the full story.

And she has managed to have a mainstream career despite that we know for a fact she has shit in a man's mouth.

Well, Bill Cosby was still successful even though many people knew for a fact he was drugging bitches.

Actually Jim completely dropped the "I like getting shit on thing" when he started dating her. It became "That's the bit." There was a whole thing on how she wouldn't give him oral until he got tested for hepatitis or something, I think Jimbo finally realized that he'd never get a real girlfriend again if he went around bragging about how sex workers literally shit in his mouth.

I am so unaware of television that I did not even know Peretti has already landed a successful t.v. gig, Brooklyn Nine Nine. Another woman opener making it on t.v. before him, about 10 years younger than him, too.

Its tough to make it on TV looking like a sea turtle that lost its shell.

Brutal assessment. That almost made me cry. Leave jimmy alone!

Am I the only one that thinks its weird for a male stand up to consider a female stand up a rival/have an ounce of jealousy at their success? Its not like she's taking any jobs/roles he would've gotten if not for her. If it was someone like Patton oswalt, I could see him being jealous. Anytime they needed a short ugly really out of Shape comic they would get patton

Her special was really funny. Better than anything jimmy has done standup wise. Jim always says he won't watch other people's acts. He should really start

Did not laugh once watching on Netflix. Girlfriend fell asleep. Recorded video is not the best medium for comedy, but I thought is was just not good

I gave it a shot cause I really like her in Brooklyn 99 and I was surprised at how good it was. I'm not usually a fan of the deadpan alt style but it was good.

she's also now dating (actually living with) Peele from Key & Peele. Besides a critically acclaimed show he has 4 movies in the works including a movie he is writing & directing. Jimmy had 4 episodes of webcast and a satellite radio show

Probably has a bigger dick than Jim, too.

"Chelsea Peretti has the most singular comedic voice of any stand-up of this generation."

Really? I haven't seen much of her stuff, but that seems a little overboard... Is she really that unique?

No. By and large, blog writers aren't talented and the article is horseshit word salad.

I think i'd rather not be on that shitty list.

I think if you're laughing at those cunts you are all in with Opie and Todd.

Overall i couldn't even point you in a direction to find who the fuck most of these people are and I'm considered by everyone as "In The Know."

But really from what I remember, Funches was fine. Burr's was great and Hannibal is wonderful

any "best standup specials" of 2014 list that doesn't have either have Kurt Metzger's "White Precious" or that great Dave Attel special that aired on comedy central is a complete waste

"Well you see, this list is more diverse. We here at Slate are trying to progressively showcase the many talented women, African-Americans, Latinos, Asians, and other minorities rather than the usual white males that dominate the industry blah blah blah..."

Weren't even "honourable mentions". And who the fuck does "top 11" lists anyways?

Road Work is the name of Attell's newest special for anyone wondering.

Like Jimmy would ever be discussed in slate

The list has Jackie Kashian and a guitar act on it. He should be delighted to not be on it.

To be fair, these days anyone with both a vagina and a microphone is considered hilarious.

"So I was like, going down on this guy...." (The audience is already laughing at this point.)

Looks like Jim is getting fucked in the ass again... oh and slate has an article about his ex-girlfriend.

Seems like everyone associated with Jimmy is more famous than he is. That must stink for him but maybe if he was more diverse with his standups he would be more mainstream.

Poor Jimmy. All his comedy palls have found great success and critical acclaim while he continues to worry about what he should do with his hands while acting. Even Bob Kelly is going to surpass Jimmy in 2015 because he's going to break big with that role on Dennis Leary's new show. How does Jimmy deal with the lack of success when even his ex-girlfriend is now widely regarded?

Bob Kelly is going to surpass the 400 lb mark in 2015

400 pounds while holding an Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series Emmy in his chubby, swollen hands.

Look, he's already gained weight for the role: http://thecomicscomic.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/DenisLeary_JohnCorbett_RobertKelly_FX_SexDrugsRockNRoll-585x390.jpg

holding an Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series Emmy

Slow down.

http://i.imgur.com/AFzbfVS.jpg

His TV show wrote his character to lose weight

That title was fucking awesome, got a good chuckle

and yet she's still not funny.

women just have it easier.

How is Jerrod Carmichaels HBO hour not on that list?

Doughy Yimmy got to fuck Chelsea Peretti? Lucky fucker.

"Lucky"

Hells yeah son, Peretti's bonerfuel.

Below the neck at least.

Well I do want to lick syrup off of her feet, so that's a valid interpretation.

I'd use her pussy sweat as cologne

Seinfeld - Nose Job [1:56]

Kramer tells Audrey she needs a nose job.

Roncagliolo in Comedy

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Jimmy probably got a fuck load of money to stay with XM and is doing tours for good money. That along with his books, comedy specials, being a part of O and A all those years, and all his other tours has probably made Jimmy a lot of money maybe not fuck you money but close.

I don't think Jimmy is really going to care if his ex is doing well, since the guy seems to be doing OK himself. He probably wants her to do well all things considered.

Jimmy said it was only a 30% increase and it's insulting that a guy like him who made the show wasn't being paid as much as the other two, including the utterly talentless Opie.

Girls are really funny...

She's not even remotely funny, slate sucks

Makes a guy wonder what happened to Carmody Central.

Who nose?

“I’m not saying these people are right, and I’m not saying I’m right. I know I’m a fucking moron.” There it is, the key to what makes Burr one of the most respected stand-ups working.

Yeah, Burr is only good because, when he lays out an inconvenient truth for the author of the article, he makes sure to call himself a moron. It has nothing to do with the fact that he can make something funny while arguing a perfectly legitimate point, it's clearly because he intentionally takes the "wrong" side of the argument for a goof. Good ol' Bill hyuck hyuck hyuck.

Jerrod Carmichael's HBO special was better than all the ones up there.

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heres a website the whore put up years ago.

http://blackpeopleloveus.com/

Her special is OK, but I found her jokes about men quite hurtful

That would be envy, not jealousy.

Why does he have this ridiculous obsession with NOT watching other comedians? Could you imagine if you were a writer, musician, or actor and you tried to make a living at it, while refusing to see what your contemporaries were doing? If that was how you ran your career, your material would be permanently trapped in the 90s.

She's a funny comedian, but her show Brooklyn 99 is terrible.

Jim is a fucking loser who has been passed by

shes fucking a savage baboon raping nigger correct? way to make your Italian dad proud. id bury her alive in a hole filled with lye to rot and melt if it were my whore daughter. good times.

fawk...yeah?

DVVV DVVV

Alllllright

I know it's your opinion and all, but I fucking loved "Me doing standup", if that's the special you're talking about. I really wouldn't call it bad.

Me Doing Standup is incredible. Such a ballsy, dark, but unrelentingly hilarious hour. Most of the act is about death and murder but the comedy does not suffer, it is actually somehow enhanced.

I thought Norm's latest special was brilliant.