Hehehehe... Mikey was a cute kid. I used to give him rides to school, and we quickly developed a deep connection. I'd kiss his ear and tell him how to make the big boys fall in love.

NOW HE GOES ON OPIE AND ANTNY, MAKING THESE FALSE ACCUSATIONS!

I DIDN'T DO NOTHING! It's just a big misunderstanding...

Who's that old guy over there? Uncle Tom, uncle Tom