I miss Doritos "Fiery Habanero" chips. They've come and gone over the years, but could be my favorite potato chips (whatssthat) of all time. Im not a big potato chip (whatssthat) guy at all, but those were like heroin to me. I could eat almost a whole bag in one sitting, fucking things.
(I know this thread was made in gest, but fuck it. Im going for it.)
Unlce Luke you were doing so well with that reference to Citizen Kane a few weeks back and now you had ruin it by spelling 'jest' incorrectly. I can't count on anyone around this place.
I bombed so fucking bad last night at an open mic that I bought a little bottle of Southern Comfort and drank it. It really depressed the hell out of me. Then I drunkenly went bowling by myself. It was a very "Nicolas Cage in Leaving Las Vegas" evening for me. "I'm a PRICKLY PEAARRR!"
Well, at least you didn't get drunk and text this chick you were talking to only to effectively ruin any chance you might have ever had. I'd love to know what it feels like to bomb on stage. Like truly bomb where no one laughs at any of your jokes... and the only chuckles are from people laughing at your awkwardness.
Oh, WORSE: I texted a couple chicks, and not a one of them would come. I get free games & free drinks at this place too, ha ha. I went to see DeRosa down the street from where I ate my balls, and even HE stood me up. (Sort of)
Honestly, bombing isn't that bad, or doesn't usually get to me. I've done stand up 41x, and of those I've bombed BAD maybe 8x. A lot of shit came together at once last night, and that was the icing on the cake. I was bummed because I was trying a new approach and it's funny on paper & everyone I tell the jokes to even conversationally will laugh, but on the mic it gets a fucking zero. I was all excited, only to have my hopes dashed; DASHED, I tell you! Hard out here for a pimp.
I could never do it. I mean, I'm good when it's natural and just 'riffing' but I can't tell a pre-written joke for the life of me. I'm sure with time I would get better but I'm too old for that shit. I'm sure you'll find a way to execute your new direction. Hell, 14 years ago I never thought I'd come up with the best pizza recipe in the world. But look at me now, kid. I'm a star.
Yeah, Im the same way. It's like you have to take your natural humor, then quantify it & put it through a filter, then have it be funny coming out the other side. It's a weird goddamn process. But when it does work, it's amazing.
Oh, WORSE: I texted a couple chicks, and not a one of them would come. I get free games & free drinks at this place too, ha ha. I went to see DeRosa down the street from where I ate my balls, and even HE stood me up. (Sort of)
Honestly, bombing isn't that bad, or doesn't usually get to me. I've done stand up 41x, and of those I've bombed BAD maybe 8x. A lot of shit came together at once last night, and that was the icing on the cake. I was bummed because I was trying a new approach and it's funny on paper & everyone I tell the jokes to even conversationally will laugh, but on the mic it gets a fucking zero. I was all excited, only to have my hopes dashed; DASHED, I tell you! Hard out here for a pimp.
20 comments
23 Knightscribe 2014-11-03
Wish he'd say the same about a wood-chipper.
19 JutsinBabber 2014-11-03
chippas got ya wood right here cock suckah
8 vatred 2014-11-03
Ya fuckin buried this cock suckah! Take us out E-Rock.
12 PanzerSmanzer 2014-11-03
wassat?!
6 really-wise_-things 2014-11-03
PECKAHSSS!!!!
6 WilliamTellAll 2014-11-03
and he bashes other people for discussing weather but yeah, snacks is totally different.
YAWWWNNNNNN
6 balderoonus 2014-11-03
I'm sure some people could make a discussion about potato chips funny and/or interesting. Opie is not one of those people.
4 IBison 2014-11-03
Bit ends moments later with Opie pathetically repeating 'Chip' over and over in an ever dwindling fashion.
2 AntsCamera 2014-11-03
I for one am riveted by Opies topics.
I do not understand why he does not get paid more.
Opie has more talent in his pinky than a pile of shit being eaten by flies.
Plus the same audience. Get it? His lovers are decomposing shit.
1 [deleted] 2014-11-03
I miss Doritos "Fiery Habanero" chips. They've come and gone over the years, but could be my favorite potato chips (whatssthat) of all time. Im not a big potato chip (whatssthat) guy at all, but those were like heroin to me. I could eat almost a whole bag in one sitting, fucking things.
(I know this thread was made in gest, but fuck it. Im going for it.)
4 JCP_1975 2014-11-03
Unlce Luke you were doing so well with that reference to Citizen Kane a few weeks back and now you had ruin it by spelling 'jest' incorrectly. I can't count on anyone around this place.
3 [deleted] 2014-11-03
FUCK! Sorry, Im hungover and had a cup of coffee so my brain is scrambled. Til about 4pm, usually.
2 JCP_1975 2014-11-03
I'm often hung over and very sleepy on Mondays. Today is no exception.
1 [deleted] 2014-11-03
I bombed so fucking bad last night at an open mic that I bought a little bottle of Southern Comfort and drank it. It really depressed the hell out of me. Then I drunkenly went bowling by myself. It was a very "Nicolas Cage in Leaving Las Vegas" evening for me. "I'm a PRICKLY PEAARRR!"
2 JCP_1975 2014-11-03
Well, at least you didn't get drunk and text this chick you were talking to only to effectively ruin any chance you might have ever had. I'd love to know what it feels like to bomb on stage. Like truly bomb where no one laughs at any of your jokes... and the only chuckles are from people laughing at your awkwardness.
1 [deleted] 2014-11-03
Oh, WORSE: I texted a couple chicks, and not a one of them would come. I get free games & free drinks at this place too, ha ha. I went to see DeRosa down the street from where I ate my balls, and even HE stood me up. (Sort of)
Honestly, bombing isn't that bad, or doesn't usually get to me. I've done stand up 41x, and of those I've bombed BAD maybe 8x. A lot of shit came together at once last night, and that was the icing on the cake. I was bummed because I was trying a new approach and it's funny on paper & everyone I tell the jokes to even conversationally will laugh, but on the mic it gets a fucking zero. I was all excited, only to have my hopes dashed; DASHED, I tell you! Hard out here for a pimp.
2 JCP_1975 2014-11-03
I could never do it. I mean, I'm good when it's natural and just 'riffing' but I can't tell a pre-written joke for the life of me. I'm sure with time I would get better but I'm too old for that shit. I'm sure you'll find a way to execute your new direction. Hell, 14 years ago I never thought I'd come up with the best pizza recipe in the world. But look at me now, kid. I'm a star.
1 [deleted] 2014-11-03
Yeah, Im the same way. It's like you have to take your natural humor, then quantify it & put it through a filter, then have it be funny coming out the other side. It's a weird goddamn process. But when it does work, it's amazing.
I want pizza.
1 BeerCanThick 2014-11-03
Opie is a fucking hole.
1 Djs3634 2014-11-03
"Hi who's this"
1 [deleted] 2014-11-03
Oh, WORSE: I texted a couple chicks, and not a one of them would come. I get free games & free drinks at this place too, ha ha. I went to see DeRosa down the street from where I ate my balls, and even HE stood me up. (Sort of)
Honestly, bombing isn't that bad, or doesn't usually get to me. I've done stand up 41x, and of those I've bombed BAD maybe 8x. A lot of shit came together at once last night, and that was the icing on the cake. I was bummed because I was trying a new approach and it's funny on paper & everyone I tell the jokes to even conversationally will laugh, but on the mic it gets a fucking zero. I was all excited, only to have my hopes dashed; DASHED, I tell you! Hard out here for a pimp.