Family Dollar had a change of heart when Diana, upon entering the store took off her jacket and 11 empty Natty Ice cans tumbled to the floor.
Ma'am, are these your beers?
Are these beers mine? No...(nervous laugh) No...No....
What did she do? Walk into the Family Dollar and go "Oh hiya, I work here now" and they said no? How the fuck do you have a job but then when you go in, there's no job? Poor stupid, drunken, ass-fucking, door laying buffaler
She is going to a temp agency but I don't think she really qualifies for many jobs so I imagine they have her on the thing where you just come in and wait for someone to call and need fill in for clean jobs etc. that day.
She probably went to a temp agency to look for a job. Being incredibly stupid, she probably assumed going to a temp agency guaranteed her a job forgetting the fact that she would still need to interview. I imagine any interviewer, regardless of the job they have available, would immediately realize that she's un-hirable and not someone they want to bring on to their team.
She will never get it together. Remember: 1> she starts drinking at 630/7am 2> She used to (or still does) smoke crack 3> She lost her virginity in an abandoned building on top of a door. I could go on and on.
In telling you. Getting a job sounded great to her. Until it came down to the day of, and she panicked. She was probably getting ready for work, and she was already shaky and craving more alcohol. And she knew there was no way in hell she could go another 8 hours without drinking. And that's where the anxiety set in, and she no call no showed, so she could drink.
From what I know of these kind of gigs, you have to show up early to get the jobs available. She probably showed up two hours late. It's one step above sitting in a parking lot getting day work under the table with Mexicans.
I've worked them before and that's basically it, yeah. If you aren't there at 4:30 to be first on the list for when they hand out jobs at 6, you're shit outta luck.
That, or she was told by this 'temp agency' to show up and we might have something for you for the day, but no promises.
Either way, this fat slob shouldn't have been proclaiming that all her woes were over before she knew anything for sure.
Who else thinks if they gave her the SiriusXM CEO position she'd do a better job? The only thing separating her and James Meyer is an MBA degree and 10,000 backseat anals.
I can't tell if the responses are trolls or not. I can't imagine anyone actually takes her seriously and wants to actually help her considering how pathetic she is.
40 comments
45 [deleted] 2014-09-24
When she showed up all the water had been buffeled already by the previous shift, but who knows about tomorrow
7 lispychicken 2014-09-24
"been buffeled"
Made me choke with laughter.. good job sir!
21 WhiskeynPeanutbutter 2014-09-24
Family Dollar had a change of heart when Diana, upon entering the store took off her jacket and 11 empty Natty Ice cans tumbled to the floor. Ma'am, are these your beers?
Are these beers mine? No...(nervous laugh) No...No....
2 TheRandomHero 2014-09-24
Hold on, I gotta tell ya somethin'.....um...oh the sky is blue today.
18 MrKrinkel 2014-09-24
What did she do? Walk into the Family Dollar and go "Oh hiya, I work here now" and they said no? How the fuck do you have a job but then when you go in, there's no job? Poor stupid, drunken, ass-fucking, door laying buffaler
11 TheBobWhookidSamShow 2014-09-24
She is going to a temp agency but I don't think she really qualifies for many jobs so I imagine they have her on the thing where you just come in and wait for someone to call and need fill in for clean jobs etc. that day.
3 sink_tinkler 2014-09-24
Something like Labor Ready? "Work today, paid today".
15 ExactlyUnlikeTea 2014-09-24
Why should I give any vague sort of a shit what this woman is doing
0 Delicious_Apes 2014-09-24
Would you suck a wet muddy fart from Di's alcoholic, ravaged stingy red ass
9 ExactlyUnlikeTea 2014-09-24
I would not
11 MonsteRain 2014-09-24
Well at least it wasn't due to her tardiness because as her tweet from yesterday says, she "hasn't been late for a job in a long long time".
I'd imagine she hasn't been late for at least 10 years.
9 CowsAreCurious 2014-09-24
She probably went to a temp agency to look for a job. Being incredibly stupid, she probably assumed going to a temp agency guaranteed her a job forgetting the fact that she would still need to interview. I imagine any interviewer, regardless of the job they have available, would immediately realize that she's un-hirable and not someone they want to bring on to their team.
7 _TheConsumer_ 2014-09-24
This would be so much better if it were Opie tweeting the exact same thing.
6 NotInsane 2014-09-24
That is fucking pathetic.
4 [deleted] 2014-09-24
Sounds legit. That's happened to me many times.
3 TweetPoster 2014-09-24
@OrbaniDiana:
[Mistake?] [Suggestion] [FAQ] [Code] [Issues]
3 breadmoccasin 2014-09-24
There's no way the entire thing wasn't fucking made up.
3 DianaKurlan5 2014-09-24
Poor Diana... :( Get it together, girlfriend!
4 TheRadicalMan 2014-09-24
She will never get it together. Remember: 1> she starts drinking at 630/7am 2> She used to (or still does) smoke crack 3> She lost her virginity in an abandoned building on top of a door. I could go on and on.
3 Holzmann 2014-09-24
It's amazing how infuriating that garbage pail kid face is. This thumbnail alone should be enough to feed her to the lions.
3 FukinPeckas 2014-09-24
I knew what that was going to say before I even clicked. What a fucking idiot.
3 Moxson4 2014-09-24
In telling you. Getting a job sounded great to her. Until it came down to the day of, and she panicked. She was probably getting ready for work, and she was already shaky and craving more alcohol. And she knew there was no way in hell she could go another 8 hours without drinking. And that's where the anxiety set in, and she no call no showed, so she could drink.
2 popnfresh1 2014-09-24
Op still takes her calls??
2 adolfin99 2014-09-24
Maybe wearing adult diapers violates the dress code.
2 Pongkong 2014-09-24
ahhh, i just feel bad for her.
2 PrinceCharmin 2014-09-24
From what I know of these kind of gigs, you have to show up early to get the jobs available. She probably showed up two hours late. It's one step above sitting in a parking lot getting day work under the table with Mexicans.
2 GypsyDishwasher 2014-09-24
I've worked them before and that's basically it, yeah. If you aren't there at 4:30 to be first on the list for when they hand out jobs at 6, you're shit outta luck. That, or she was told by this 'temp agency' to show up and we might have something for you for the day, but no promises. Either way, this fat slob shouldn't have been proclaiming that all her woes were over before she knew anything for sure.
2 greenlightning 2014-09-24
she could get a job sampling Natty Ice....
1 Leofan7 2014-09-24
OH...oh that's a good one! What kind is that?!
2 matt87uk 2014-09-24
'There was no job available?'
2 TheRadicalMan 2014-09-24
What a blithering idiot...
1 [deleted] 2014-09-24
[deleted]
1 Wobbly_Red_Snappa 2014-09-24
I love in the old O&A days when they would rant on her about not finding a job.
1 Plumpucus 2014-09-24
So when she said she got a job she meant she applied for one? Dumb cunt, hopefully Opie won't let her drone on about her ordeals for too long
1 aftershave 2014-09-24
Who else thinks if they gave her the SiriusXM CEO position she'd do a better job? The only thing separating her and James Meyer is an MBA degree and 10,000 backseat anals.
0 [deleted] 2014-09-24
Yeah let her manage a 20 billion dollar company because she managed the money Opie and Anthony gave her during the internship so well.
0 ZombieKetchup 2014-09-24
Anyone wanna start taking bets til how long shes homeless again? But seriously though, This is fucking sad
0 ucfgavin 2014-09-24
I can't tell if the responses are trolls or not. I can't imagine anyone actually takes her seriously and wants to actually help her considering how pathetic she is.
-1 [deleted] 2014-09-24
[deleted]
-4 cali_gunner 2014-09-24
Who is this downy drunk hag? I get she's called in and annoys people, but where did she come from? How did she get "famous"?
5 Hard_Fiskur 2014-09-24
She is one half of the retarded Lavern and Shirley.
1 holden190 2014-09-24
Which one is she? And what happened to the other one?
5 Hard_Fiskur 2014-09-24
She is one half of the retarded Lavern and Shirley.