http://youtu.be/HXFbACHhk1U

Around 7:30 he drops floop the coop

I don't have the clip, but this is a great list -
Vos-cabulary: https://oapedia.com/oa/Rich_Vos

Man, I love Vos, but that's just inexcusable!

Edit: I just had an idea. One of these days I'm going to write a Vosism translator using the list from oapedia. You input normal text and out the other end comes the same text only spoken by Vos. Maybe it could be a reddit bot.

You certainly won't.

I'd halfta learn dat language, Pylon, but wit my intellectual quotation it shouldn't be hard.

As far as algorithms go, I can definitely list off a bunch of things he does randomly with his speech that would work.

-add the text "See, here's the thing" randomly at the beginning of some sentences.

-find some way to reference a rhyming dictionary so that words are often swapped out for words that sound somewhat the same so that you make malapropisms

-Replace any instance of the letter S at the start of a word with "Sch"

-Make random nouns plural (i.e. Woman becomes women, bosses becomes boss.)

-Add the phrase "Have you preordered my wife Bonnie and mine's movie Woman Art Funny on iTunes yet?" to the end of every post.

-find some way to reference a rhyming dictionary so that words are often swapped out for words that sound somewhat the same so that you make malapropisms

That will be pretty difficult. Years ago I tried to write a random limerick generator (I had a full English dictionary of words to work with) and rhyming is much harder for a computer to do than you'd think. The program needs to know a lot about a word in order to find a rhyming word. Never had much luck with Markov Chains, either.

-Replace any instance of the letter S at the start of a word with "Sch"

Ecshept in the caysh of wordj beginning with "sh" or "sch" (and the other exceptions in this sentence).

-Make random nouns plural (i.e. Woman becomes women, bosses becomes boss.)

Once again the program would need to know what a noun is, and the wacky way that English ignores it's own rules makes it almost mandatory to have all words in a huge list (that's what I used years ago for the limerick generator). Very difficult.

-Add the phrase "Have you preordered my wife Bonnie and mine's movie Woman Art Funny on iTunes yet?" to the end of every post.

That's easy. The bot would also need some sort of trigger similar to what the Philly Crew bot had.

Anyway, I'm reading up on how to write a reddit bot tutorials so I'll see how much trouble it'll be.

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Suicide methods:

A suicide method is any means by which a person commits suicide, purposely taking his or her own life. Suicide methods can be classified according to two modes of interrupting one's life processes: physical or chemical. Physical modes of interruption typically act by incapacitating the respiratory system or the central nervous system, usually by destruction of one or more key components. Chemical modes focus on interrupting biologically significant processes such as cellular respiration or diffusion capacity. Chemical methods of suicide produce latent evidence of action, whereas physical methods provide direct evidence. [citation needed]

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^{Interesting: Suicide | Alan Turing | Final Exit | Suicide by cop}

^{Parent commenter can toggle NSFW or delete. Will also delete on comment score of -1 or less. | FAQs | Mods | Magic Words}

Man, you really got me with that one. I don't know if I can go on now.

[deleted]

Ouch. Another well-worded blow to my ego. How do you think up such crushing insults?

Stretch your fucking neck.

Don't be a coward all your life. It doesn't hurt much.

A proper drop, you want it to snap, not choke.

And do it on u-stream, we want to see your legs dance.

shorter

different thread dumb cunt.

the other thread is you doing "last word", cause you are weak.

this thread is encouraging you to end your obvious suffering and make your mummy cry.

shorter

You are miserable, it is obvious. You weren't cut out for any of this.

No more tears.

Be brave for once, for the first time in your pointless timid existance. Show them. Show me. Teach us all a lesson as you kick the chair out from under you.

[deleted]

[deleted]

WAKE UP POINTLESS MOSQUITO Get up you delusional self-impressed dick bag and make me commit suicide like you promised. Fall back once again on your belief that words hurt and harm. Your idiot sidekick below you will probably be sleeping in after last night's pain-dulling bender.

I told you it would leave a mark. I told you it was the last thing you would think about.

That's all night you've been waiting ... I fucking own you now - you've just admitted it you weak cunt.

You really can't do anything right can you, you always make the exact wrong fucking move.

You really should end it, not a joke, a genuine suggestion.

"The wrong move." Well as long as you're using your imagination to decide what I'm feeling then I guess there is no right move I can make, including no move at all. So there you go, you just can't lose.

The right move was to keep your fucking mouth shut in the original thread where you play-acted a tough guy and tried to tell someone what not to post.

The right move was not talk about mod status as if that fucking impressed anyone. You looked idiotic.

The right move was then not to get pushed around, to instantly run out of material, get locked in child-like loops you couldn't get out of without looking even weaker. That's what happens to fakes, they run out. They always do.

The right move was not sit there passive and weak as someone pushed you around, abused, smashed and insulted you. If you were too weak to fight back, you needed to run.

Then the final right move is now to perform an honest self-evaluation of your catastrophic performance here. Dial your fucking ego down a dozen notches to something much more realistic, and make the admission that you aren't anywhere close to being good at this.

The right move is for you to settle into your proper role, where you should have been all along: a passive weak spectator, that keeps his fucking trap shut, cos he now knows there's proper guys out there that'll fucking do what I did to you.

Learn your fucking lesson mod-boy. That's the move. Learn it now, or learn it later, but you will fucking learn it.

I'm not play-acting anything. I'm being honest expressing my exasperation at the OP. Look at your comment, it's littered with "looked like." It seems supremely important to you to look a certain way on the net. Fuck you you poser. Regarding the moderator comment, my point was that I'd agreed with the moderators when they deleted his shit posts. Once again, your criticism is that was candid enough to say it in a way that brought up the moderator business. I suppose I should be more like you then, constantly making sure that what I say doesn't leave me vulnerable to criticism. Once again, fuck you.

What have you done all this time, tossed hackneyed insults that would only upset some farmer in a middle east village somewhere, and told me that you want me to commit suicide. No matter how you butter it that's utterly childish, like what you'd find in a anime forum. Verbose schoolyard taunts, hence the tl;dr.

You are now talking as if there's some sort of relationship between us.

I am not interested in your fucking story. Your woeful performance yesterday leaves me zero interest in hearing your excuses. ("shorter", "tl;dr" ... cost you any opportunity to be taken seriously now. You fucked up son, it is too late.)

So we stay on the original topic. You being weak and worthless, and what self-violence exists as a remedy to what ails you. Not a joke, not a game, not a tactic. I mean it, do it. Make me smile.

You are now talking as if there's some sort of relationship between us.

What?!? You're overextending yourself here.

I am not interested in your fucking story.

Of course you aren't. You've made up your own story and you're sticking to it. This is why your opinion has no value to me. You've lost all hope for any credibility. You're nothing more than a nuisance, a mosquito.

tl;dr (shorter)

Well duh, to activate the VosBot you've got to enter the password. "comic630"

Great idea! That would be awesome.

Kareem Abdoo-Jabbar is one of my more recent favorites. They're all gold, really.

[deleted]

"The wrong move." Well as long as you're using your imagination to decide what I'm feeling then I guess there is no right move I can make, including no move at all. So there you go, you just can't lose.