"Why did the girl go to the abortionist clinic? ........Probably cuz her dad was rapin her a bunch or sumpfin......"

That is perfect Chip.

"Fawk yeah its perfect me. Why dont you go brag humbly about or somethin, ya fuckin asshole! What are you, too humble to brag or sumpfin? ..............Piece a garbage."

Gaa-biiige

"Crackheads are crazy. You walk by them and they say "Wanna buy a dryer....DOOR? Tssss...why not a wetter door or somethin...I'm just riffin here folks, loosen up"

"I owe my daughter six dollars for girl scout cookies...and I'm dodgin her!!! Or Fordin her or Pontiacin her or somethin..."

"Here's the thing and by thing I mean my PECKAH"

"I just flew in from Chicago....why not cancer in from Chicago or somethin....tsss....loosen up people!"

Chicago...why not Chicastop?

Chip would walk onstage to music he's humming.

"I'm usin a mic, why not a jim or ted or clarence.. or sumpfin..."

" how come people park in drive ways and drive in parkways, THAT DON'T MAKE NO SENSE!"

"Two Jews walk into a bar, and eat some motza ball soup or somethin I dunno I'm just riffin"

give yaselfs a hand...or a foot khmmhmpppphhhh

"Yeah or a fuckin pecka or sumpfin, ya fuckin cocksukka!!"

"Don't you guys fuckin hate it when your corduroy trousas get stuck in the pricker bushes? What the fuck!?"

I would like to see Jimmy just do this one night as a 5 min set

When people don't get it, he can throw his arm over his head like "whoosh guess you guys don't understand real yuma"

"Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause Lamar was tryin to catch it and deep fry it. (Im fuckin killin...)"

Gimme a round of applause for late term abortion!

My muddah always talked about that, she wanted one or wished she got one or sumptin.

booooo

"Any chicks gettin wet out there? When you guys leave you'll need galoshes or sumpthin."

I hope this thread lasts a while.

tsst what came first the chicken or da egg...? tsst what are they fawkin or sumptin...tsst
cleva word play huma

"You know why black peoples all like collared greens?..... Maybe its because all their COLLARS ARE GREEN!...or sumpfin.... Green wit envy I bet! Home run Chipperson!"

I saw Norton live and during the Q&A at the end I asked if there was any chance of him ever doing a special as Chip. He didnt give a real answer though, the crowd popped, and he just made a funny joke as Chip. This would be fucking amazing though. Imagine you see a commercial for Comedy Central and it's promoting a Chip Chipperson half hour special, but not really privying the audience to the fact that it's a big joke. Imagine how funny that would be?

plsno

"Why not a thnksyes or sumpfin ya fuckin faggot!"

no.