1. Get in some zingers on Jay Leno. He's a topical name to trash talk to get "heat."
2. I'm a jew. My parents are jews. Jewy jew jewjewjew YOU KNEW THEN. Never go 5 minutes without reminding people that yes indeed, you are a jew.
3. As a corollary to 2, never go more than 5 minutes without a Holocaust reference or a slanderous statement comparing another person to Hitler. You need to do this so that people remember your hook, your draw, your schtick: Sweaty Neurotic Jew Bombing The Crowd Like Its Gaza.
4. Tag your shitty one-liners more often than the DNR tags wildlife. Anything that lands, hell, even sideswipes funny, needs to be tagged at least 7 times. Nervous titters and pity laughs are the green light.
5. Have your entire gimmick be about deconstructing and chastising the industry while your set has more stock lines than a joke book. Defend yourself as an "alternative comic" and "metacomedian" when you say things like "The doctors say I'm not gonna make it...career-wise."

Ha ha! Noises!

One thing you missed, call out a comedians name. STEVEN BRODY STEVENS! RUSSEL PETERS! It's like Bill described when Pete Holmes came onto the show dropped a shit and called Bill's name. 3 2 1 here comes the bomb, you take it.

You forgot lots of shoulder movement. He loves to raise his shoulders above ear level...in a very Urkle "did I do that?" kinda way. Then back to something Jewish. I really don't hate the guy But he is very formulaic.

He's like a male version of Kathy Griffin.

I heard him for the first time on the JFL thing... I kept waiting for the funny. I'm still waiting. He went after Anthony a bit. I didn't necessarily disagree with him, but he was NOT the least bit funny. Guess his humor is way over my head.

http://articles.chicagotribune.com/1993-09-03/entertainment/9309030071_1_arsenio-hall-show-funny-laughs

Time again for another comedy lesson. This class is titled "How Not to Be a Hack." A hack is any comic that uses easy, no-brain standup fodder to get laughs, as opposed to coming up with original thoughts.

The lesson plan is provided by Professor Andy Kindler. Typical hack premises include:

• Celebrity trashing. Professor Kindler's example: "Madonna . . . like a virgin? I don't think so," or "Dan Quayle . . . who's that? Pee-wee Herman meets Archie?"

Trashing celebrities with trite one liners is a hack premise. Kindler's 30 year career is a hack premise, then. Sounds right.

Whut were you out dumpster diving or sumpthin

I think seal clubbing is the only thing I hate more than this "remember I'm Jewish" frog-faced douche

Please stop talking about him and let him fade back into obscurity. No one cares anymore.

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This sub is fucking pathetic lately. Ooh, Andy Kindler said a mean thing, let's cry about it for a week. Why don't you grow a pair and move on with your life.

There's a difference between talking shit with your friends and talking shit about people that aren't your friends and are empirically leagues above you.

You aren't edgy because you talk shit about Ricky. You aren't edgy saying Louie is overrated. You're a douche. You're a jealous small timer that thinks that you're owed something for not giving up at a trade that you're bad at. Kindler is a hack, fuck him. His sets are awful. Why the hell does JFL throw him a bone every year to give an address about the state of comedy? It's like giving Dick Cheney a speech about corruption in politics - YOU'RE THE FUCKING PROBLEM. YOU ARE WHAT YOU HATE

Cough cough..jay Mohr. cough cough

A pair of what?

I cried at his bad comedy.

I cried a bit. But, I did it on the inside like a fucking man!

what oskar schindler saw in him to deem him a 'useful jew' will remain a mystery. maybe he was suckin' his prick while dressed in a dog costume.

I love Andy Kindler.