The Jim Norton Flowchart

183  2014-03-21 by booderdooders

106 comments

Well done, though I still appreciate Jimmy. I don't see these guys as my spiritual shaman or life guides... it's comedy. Appreciate them as humans... with flaws just like everyone else, except, unlike most, they have the exceptional ability to make fun of these in themselves an others. Like with this Lady Di thing... it's really fucking sad, but they make light of it.

GETT OVVVER IT..

All three of them cannot take criticism and bitterly defend each other. If they would rip on each other like they do to Vos, the show would be much more enjoyable.

Agreed. If they ripped each other it would grind boring filler to a halt! No more viral video talk and no more 12-step jimmy. I love it when Vos rips into Opie or Colin into Jim

Theyre helping her alot and have done it for years, pre-2006 even?

Theyre just making good radio of it but in the meantime theyre helping her.

In the end, nobody is perfect and these guys don't pretend to be. It's comedy and these three gentlemen are fantastic characters who bring perspective to A LOT of things that most wouldn't even dare touch. The show isn't for everyone, O&A are still fantastic without Jimmy, but Jimmy does make the show better.

Where's "Those SCUMBAGS", "Awful" and "Ewww!!!"?

"They're so hateable"

"______ SSSSSTINKS, They all SSSSTINK" "______ should all be executed"

"The NSA is spying on citizens? You know what? GOOD! Where were these civil liberties people when (celebrity name)'s (photos/phone calls/video) was leaked?"

Right after --->(Is there a porn star in studio)--->

blink wildly

I love how this place rotates its theme every few months.

Flowchart for /r/opieandanthony:

Opie is awful → Anthony is a drunken racist → Jim sucks

Jim Norton is now ruined for me.

Stop pitching a fit.

sounds like you want Jim Not on or somethin

That's not what his name is

Guess you'll have to suck someoneelse's cock now

PHENOMENAL

GET OVEEEER IT

I love little Jimmy, but damn that was perfect. Makes me want to open up Visio and do one for Opie... full of "PAUSE!".

Instead of "yes" and "no" the options will be "all in" and "tapped out".

And "PAUSE!!"

Is someone complaining about something bad in their life? -----> Relate it to your mother.

Fez?

The extra emphasis on the "f" in fuck. FFFFFFFFFFUCK.

Period!

Are flow charts funny? ----> no

This is fantastic. I wish there was someplace to put an option for him to throw a blanket excoriation on a product or service due to his ignorance. Can't get his wifi to work? "Apple suuuuuuucks!" Doesn't know the particulars of why a company makes certain financial decisions? "Those greedy fuuuuuuucks!" A legal decision is made that he doesn't understand? "ALLLLLL lawyers are corrupt!"

He's stupid. His knowledge of politics, history etc are atrocious.

Are they???

Intellect and knowledge are not synonymous. Jim is very quick on his feet, he just doesn't know a lot of stuff. So technically he's ignorant/uneducated/uninformed, but he's not stupid.

Don't forget, he still calls Russia the "Soviets".

Also the solution to any corporate/political/legal issues is dragging people out to the street to be shot.

What if the topic doesn't make him angry?

then he checks twitter on his iPhone. there's a lot of that missing on the chart.

I'm starting to believe this isn't a real flow chart

I had trouble finding where to begin

yeah according to the chart there would be nothing but Chip over and over and over from about 10 minutes into the show till the end

There have been days like that.

...you spent time on this?

----->yes------>call OP a fag

Yea its not anywhere near as well done as Louie's.

Link to Louie's?

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Jimmy is one of the funniest riffers alive. Eat shit.

True. He is, but when he uses a lot of the same shit in the same day it gets...meh. J: "There is so much wax in your ears" D:'I know i should use qtips' J: no i was thinking more of a shotgun

20minutes later J: your breath is awful did you brush your teeth? D:Yes everyday J: i wish you would have used a.... D: let me guess....shotgun?

he's still a comedic genius

I love his riffing ability. But comedic genius is a stretch

But it's THE SAME molestation, "imagine if they took his hat and took a shit in it and put it back on his head" jokes over and over and over. His riffing stinks. I do love Chip and the other characters. I am still impressed with how he developed and maintained those characters.

Everyone has Wells they go to often. Jimmy has created an entire vernacular that opie and Anthony fans constantly ape. I can usually identify a fan just because they copy so many of Jimmy s turns of phrase.

That's my point. The wells stink

Nice Jimmy-ism

Jimmy invented "stinks" and Opie invented "White Knight".

Sounds like a very influential show.

It's not as simple as that. He uses certain turns of phrase that no one else was commonly using but now every o and a fan does. Most people generally don't talk about how things sink, or if someone is a good egg or a silly goose etc. Literally no one else was speaking like this and now you all do.

Oh, you mean like when he started saying "hey stupid" after Colin said it?

Yes. Exactly like that. Except multiplied by a few thousand.

I agree with everything except for the titles of your categories. Jimmy's nearly always in the funny zone. And he's such a sweet boy.

You forgot, "I hope he/she/it gets ::insert violent movie or pop culture reference::"

Well done OP.

this isnt making fun of jim, its just the truth.

I wish Jimmy would just do characters the whole time and never be himself.

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"Where's my blueberries!"

Pretty damn accurate, but I still love Jimmy. Don't forget these guys are talking to entertain you for 20 hours a week, and as regular people like you and I, their going to have characteristics that repeat. But that's why we like them. Also obligatory GET OVER IT

True. It's accurate but I heard a comedian say he hated Jimmy on a podcast because he just says the dirtiest thing. I'd like to see him try to be consistently funny on a daily radio show and then see who's the hack.

The meaty vagina part cracked me up. These flow charts are funny, but it scares me to think what I'd feel like to see my "comedic work" boiled down to the core.

Which comedian?

why do you guys listen to the show if you don't like jim?

Talking for 20 hours a week is fucking hard man.

Where's the spend up cadence where he's confident of the answer, which is generally something he has no knowledge of?

Norton has been terrible for months. Is he on reddit

I love Jimmy and miss his presence on the show when he's off doing gigs. However, this graphic is hilarious and somewhat accurate. Well done.

Norton: I'm just doing my thing... Opie: Fair enough.

WOW! Someone please get this to CQ!

Oh man the endless "deliver chip line, repeat if Ant courtesy laughed" loop part killed me.

You're missing "Fuckin boo"

yo this is hilarious and actually moderately accurate

Jimmy has outlived his 3rd micness with his negativity and pedo vibe. They should replace him with Dan Soder.

O&A and R&F should swap Norton and Fez for a week. It would be pretty interesting and possibly entertaining.

I was actually thinking of something similar, send Jim and Fez off together on a 6-month journey of enlightenment.

Jim would save so much money on trannies by having Fez wear a wig.

Ron and Fez would benefit a lot by having a more active second mike who actually brings discussion to the show.

O&A would go through the same cycle as lady did, trying to make a bit with fez's weirdness, trying to help him, and then being just fed up with him. Fez would also be a creeper and probably hang out outside the rawdog studio for Ronnie.

Very well done. I would insert "Speculate on what it would be like to do random body function on person being discussed"

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he doesn't remain silent when it comes to comedians, sometimes he says poignant things like "i don't know, he's a comic and (insert total over the top nonsensical defense)"

Self deprecating joke. "I'm just babbling"

"I'm sleepy"

"That explains the hard on/tent in my pants"

Keep these coming haha

Also - am I the only one who misses Jimmy's Forrest Gump and Lieutenant Dan impressions?

Once I got over not knowing where to start, I found this hilarious and accurate.

What a phenomenal waste of time it was to make this

Nothing about UFC?

Looks like someone spent a lot of time whining and crying and pitching a fit.

Genius.

Lot of pussy hurt in hurr

That's harsh. You guys are a bunch of jizzbags!

Jim Norton's flow chart has more right angles in it than a NASCAR race track.

You have to get "you were molested" on there somewhere.

He stinks, and I don't like him!

this chart is not kind and inaccurate.

Can you riff on this topic? -----> "No" ------> [TEXTING INTENSIFIES]

New thread for people who think both this and Jimmy are funny

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No fat jokes at ERock's expense?

DAFUCK?

Bunch of disloyal shitdicks.

I'm hearing strong rumors that Jimmy will not be coming back after his contract expires in October

sources or it didn't happen.

Holy shit. Perfection!

I'm starting to believe this isn't a real flow chart

Right after --->(Is there a porn star in studio)--->

"______ SSSSSTINKS, They all SSSSTINK" "______ should all be executed"

"They're so hateable"

"The NSA is spying on citizens? You know what? GOOD! Where were these civil liberties people when (celebrity name)'s (photos/phone calls/video) was leaked?"