I have a Bill Burr story...
82 2014-02-11 by [deleted]
I heard on his podcast he would be attending the New Orleans Saints vs the Philadelphia Eagles Monday Night Football contest in New Orleans. I have tickets to the same game and think "Wow. Wouldn't it be great to meet Bill Burr?"
Cut to the game. I'm sitting my chick. There is 6 minutes left in the fourth. Saints are well ahead so the stadium is emptying out. We are sitting in section six hundred on the 3rd tier: the nose bleed.
So, stadium is emptying out and I'm just scanning the crowd. About 11 rows below me and to my left I see this goofy ass Ron Howard looking dude in full NFL Players club regalia. I mean the hat, the members only style jacket, scarf, big stupid foam finger, etc. This guy is glancing over his right shoulder just scanning the crowd, probably thinking what a bunch of pieces of shits the Saints fans are for leaving the Superdome. I barely caught a glimpse of his face and I knew instantly that it was my Billy Boy.
I say to my girlfriend "That's Bill Burr right there". She has no clue who he is so I explain. Automatically she doesn't believe me. Why would one of my favorite comics be sitting in our section. What are the chances?
Anyway, I keep insisting on his identity while I'm waiting for him to turn around again just to be sure. About 2 or 3 minutes of game time go by and finally I decide to nut up. I yell "HEY BILL!".... Sure enough my hero turns around allowing me to point at him and yell at the top of my lungs 'GO FUCK YOURSELF!!!!!'.
Everyone in my section immediately got quiet while my girlfriend performed the face palm, sure that I had just embarrassed us both and would have to punch out this pasty red headed fuck who I'd just yelled at once he drunkenly climbed up to meet us. That is until Bill and 'Dude, I called it' Verzee busted out laughing. I mean, full fledged gut busting laughter. Bill waved and the rest of our section looked confused.
Got a picture with him and Verzee a few minutes later and Bill, still laughing, said "Dude, I can't believe you spotted me! That's awesome!". I was really nervous and wish I would have asked him out for a beer or something.
That's my Bill story. What's yours?
Edit: Here's the pic. Didn't think to do it at first. http://postimg.org/image/jszqxlb67/
37 comments
69 Thecardinal74 2014-02-11
Why, were you trying to fuck him? What are you, a fag?
4 WiretapStudios 2014-02-11
"First this queer tells me to go fuck myself, then he asks me out? Unbelievable..."
20 kentrel 2014-02-11
Okay, my Bill Burr story.
I haven't met him, but I enjoy his comedy and his acting on Breaking Bad is really quite good.
10 Mrcoxie 2014-02-11
This story is quite similar to mine. I also enjoy him when he's on satellite radio.
2 christschinn 2014-02-11
This too is similar to mine, except mine involves a lot of KY jelly as well
15 Jambz 2014-02-11
Not a Bill Burr story, but a Patrice one. It's not what you asked for but it seemed relevant enough for me. I thought it was hilarious, and everyone here would probably appreciate because it really speaks to Patrice's unique/crass personality his buddies always talked about.
I was hanging with a friend of mine this weekend, and also his friend who works at the DC Improv. I was chatting with him about the different comedians he's met working there, and I asked if he met Patrice when he recorded Mr. P (my favorite comedy album) at the Improv shortly before his death. He did, and had a story to go with it.
Turns out, months earlier, this guy had been going through some box of different DVDs and crap of comedians who come through to see if there was anything worthwhile. The only thing that stood out was a Patrice O'Neal audition reel. It consists of a bunch of quick segments from stuff he's acted in over the years.
The most bizarre part being what this guy described as a courtroom scene where he was crying telling some emotional story. It then quickly cuts to a scene of his from Arrested Development. And everything else was comedy except the one emotional scene.
So when Patrice finally comes to town, he approaches him after one of his shows and asks if Patrice could sign it for him. Patrice seemed mildly amused by it, and then asked him what his favorite part of it was. The only part he could think of was the crying scene, which Patrice didn't seem all to thrilled about. So Patrice asks for his name and signs it.
After walking out of the room, he looks down at the case and sees that Patrice had signed it "Eddie, go fuck yourself"
3 10below 2014-02-11
Hahahah goddamn patrice
2 fireants 2014-02-11
Holy shit that is perfect. Patrice would probably have been laughing his ass off the moment he left.
2 Motorboat_Jones 2014-02-11
It would be funnier if his name was Steve.
2 c0rnballa 2014-02-11
Yeeeeeess...
13 ElPatreeecko 2014-02-11
Then what happened?
7 SickAndBeautiful 2014-02-11
Saw him at a small club when he was getting his podcast going. I noticed his podcast was encoded at 128kb and twice the size it needed to be, so after I bought a DVD off him I suggested he make it smaller. Out of his pocket he took out the thing he recorded it on and we looked at the settings and sure enough 128kb was as small as it went. Just a small interaction but I thought that was pretty cool. His podcast is at 64kb now. :)
3 Prowler_Dante 2014-02-11
Me and a friend are seeing Billy in Moncton in a few weeks, so we'll hopefully get pics with him after the show.
8 phlammo 2014-02-11
I literally won't be able to sleep until I find out what happens.
1 [deleted] 2014-02-11
[deleted]
3 pekingoose 2014-02-11
LOL, the op has shoulders like Derosa.
3 [deleted] 2014-02-11
I also met Bill at a football game. I was really excited and I was wearing my new cowboy boots and looking forward to enjoying the game, and he just came up to me all drunk and started yelling in my face, "YOU'RE NOT AS HOT AS YOU THINK YOU ARE! YOU'RE NOT AS HOT AS YOU THINK YOU ARE!" Over and over again. It really ruined my whole night.
2 10below 2014-02-11
hahahahaha I loved this!
2 mhm28 2014-02-11
Never met him, but I was at the now infamous Philly show.
2 SuperSaverLillian 2014-02-11
Tl;Dr - Met Burr at Caroline's in NYC around 2004. He was a class act.
Okay, for those who want to read: Became aware of Bill via his time on Chappelle's Show and instantly enjoyed his stand up. Soonafter, on two separate occasions, he cancelled gigs on my college campus. Needless to say, I was upset.
I wrote him an email to tell him of my disappointment, only to have him reply and basically tell me that he's never had to cancel on the same campus twice and he felt bad. He offered me two free tickets to see him and the rest of the Chappelle's Show comedy tour (Donnell Rawlings and Charlie Murphy) at Caroline's in NYC a month later.
GF and I go to the show and Burr was tremendous (crazy to think he's only gotten BETTER since then, a decade ago). After the show he was by himself out in the lobby selling his CD. I go up to say hi, he remembered me from the email and was happy I could make it. We chatted for at least ten minutes and he gave me a copy of "Emotionally Unavailable" and signed it for me. Needless to say, that's a tremendous keepsake.
1 xjtsx 2014-02-11
he once pissed me off on his podcast by making fun of us seahawks fans. lol he can go fuck himself !
9 misfitlove 2014-02-11
baby boy got mad because he made fun of his sporty team
-1 xjtsx 2014-02-11
yeah here is the podcast that pissed me off link
5 misfitlove 2014-02-11
What is this amateur hour, I know where that link goes
4 CUNTYMOM 2014-02-11
because he wants you guys to be real fans like us in Title Town, MA and stop gloating about a stupid noise thing when you have a championship, we from boston love the seahawks, i havent enjoyed a superbowl that much since 2004, we hate peyton more than anyone.
great story though OP
1 [deleted] 2014-02-11
I'm from ma too, loved every second of that Super Bowl. Wicked sweet choke, kid
0 [deleted] 2014-02-11
[deleted]
0 GleepGlorpFloopdedoo 2014-02-11
Yes, more than Eli.
3 bhath01 2014-02-11
We are the loudest!
3 Houghton91 2014-02-11
"WEEEEEEEE ARE THE LOUDESSST!!!"
1 ShakesTheClown- 2014-02-11
Obvious bullshit story.
9 kol- 2014-02-11
Dude he totally screamed "go fuck yourself" like a complete autistic. No way the real story could be as mundane as "I bumped into Bill Burr while going to take a piss." No. Fucking. Way.
3 Wsallgood 2014-02-11
In OP defense. Telling randoms to go fuck themselves or others is pretty par for the course at the Superdome.
1 dickroach 2014-02-11
I drove two and a half hours to see him in Tallahassee. got there to hear it was sold out. tried to sneak in for 20min. nope. ended up talking to his tour bus driver guy. cool guy.
1 [deleted] 2014-02-11
You didn't think to buy tickets ahead of time?
1 dickroach 2014-02-11
found out about the show that day
0 [deleted] 2014-02-11
Were sitting ON your chick or BY her?
-4 [deleted] 2014-02-11
[deleted]
0 10below 2014-02-11
It is one of my favorite stories to tell. It was awesome.
1 Tony_Sunshine 2014-02-11
Props for getting the courage to yell that. It's really cool to hear that Burr is a good dude.
-14 [deleted] 2014-02-11
[deleted]
8 phlammo 2014-02-11
I literally won't be able to sleep until I find out what happens.
1 [deleted] 2014-02-11
[deleted]
5 misfitlove 2014-02-11
What is this amateur hour, I know where that link goes