[deleted]

That's an Ant line if I ever heard one.

Alright.

Yeah, remember Colin Quinn asking about it and things got real uncomfortable real fast

EDIT: found the clip http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Co_yWmPqlq8

Fuh...king...hell

I almost forgot about that.. good find.

The one time Colin gets completely schooled by someone. Nice.

DAMN IT!

fuck

GOD FUCKING DAMN IT FUCK YOU.

Every. Fucking. Time.

Ughhhh got me so bad.

Not sure. But it is confirmed that but he's obese, and has an annoying voice and grating personality.

He's the worst person on the show since danny, his only comeback is 'go outside and get hit by a truck' and 'even jesus hates you'

Why they keep defending this obese dullard is beyond me.

He just hasn't found the right girl yet.

Oh Roland why dont you settle down with a nice girl.

You know who else never found the right girl? This guy.

There was the classic story about Roland making cumsies in his pants when he got a lap dance in Cleveland...

There was the classic story of Roland getting a private dance in Cleveland and later saying he made cumsies in his pants.

These mysterious types are very deceptive, they have vast experience in the black arts of not being honest, be careful when they spin you a tale.

Tis a tall tale then...

'Tis a tall tale told by a twinkle-toed 'tard.

I don't think he's gay; I think he's just a gastrosexual. A food fucker. He's the kind of guy where if you told him the old joke

Q: What do you call a butterball turkey covered with pubic hair?

A: Ron Jeremy's stunt double.

he wouldn't laugh or groan, he'd just get an erection.

Who hasn't.

Patrice outright asked him if he was gay one time and Roland responded with "I don't like cock!"...on FM.

"I don't like cock!"

... He LOVES it!

Not liking cock doesn't mean he's not gay it could just mean he's a top

thats never what you wanna say when someones asks you if youre gay.

His voice is annoying as fuck. Roland could be Channing Tatum's twin and I still wouldn't even go on a date with him.

A female listener?

Last I checked. Wait...be right back!

I wish I could hang up on you. j/k lolzerz a/s/l what's your name PM me pls respond how are you?

You had me at a/s/l...wanna cyber??

AIM: [email protected]

damn, she's already taken I see

Let's all have a check.

Is there a chance you might have a long, throbbing delicious treat between those legs? Otherwise, not interested.

Pics or it didn't happen

What made me think of it is those clips of the guys and their mail order brides yesterday. The one guy sounded slightly effeminate and the mysterious handle immediately was mentioned. Meanwhile Roland fits a lot of the criteria of a confirmed bachelor and they never break his balls at all.

I've wondered for a while. Although the bachelor thing could just be because he is fat and disgusting.

Pretty much this.

So not his voice, no? Just being fat and disgusting. Even if someone could see through that and love him, imagine living with him for the rest of your life with that fucking voice urrkkkk

Very.

I thought he had a girlfriend in canada.

Travis?

Yeah,suuure.....Canada.

There's another radio personality who acts like an ass because of his struggles with sexuality. Fez.

Imagine those two lumps of meat in a naked, sweaty and hairy mess.

I just came.

I think it's obvious at this point and out of respect for him they avoid the topic. Just like they did with Fez, for a while.

He's not gay. He just doesn't like girls.

FTFY: He's not gay. Girls just don't like him

There have been stripper & spa stories that he got jerked off. But when the weight-loss challenge started he kinda umcomfortably said ''TIME TO GET SOME PUSSY BOYS'' or something like that ha. Edit: wording

That's another red flag that they ignore that they always mention otherwise, when closeted guys try way too hard to sound like one of the boys. Many a funny bit has been made of this at the expense of other questionable celebrity males.

Didn't Troy try to set him up with some girl who worked at SXM, that is when Troy was allowed to speak? I remember it seeming like they were approaching "why don't you find a nice girl?" but again they shut it down b/c Roland is such a mean, tough guy.

I'm not sure if we are talking about the same event but there was a time when erock went out of his way to encourage Roland to ask out another female employee who Roland had a crush on and it ended in disaster, with the girl turning him down. There is audio of it up on YouTube somewhere.

I honestly don't think Roland is gay but I can see why a lot of people do and I probably would too if I didn't listen as much as I do. I think he is just self conscious and easily pissed off so the boys don't give him as much shit and that he has basically given up on dating anyone and just sort of let his other obsessions take over his life.

He seems to 'like' alot of slutty girls on Instagram...could be a cover?

Normally he would get a pass on the absence of trim since he's an obese, balding, high pitched mess. But working in that industry he would have to have some shot at a decently attractive girl, right?

Oh yeah. Girls love big slobs who book guests for a radio show.

I mean that we shouldn't equate him with average big slobs, since he rubs elbows with celebrities. Maybe he won't score a Penthouse model, but it's not hopeless.

He's sort of a big deal

He's sort of a big whale.

Yeah he "hob nobs" with celebrities.

That's probably what makes him good at his job. Not dipping his quill in the company inkwell.

I was just listening to an older show where he and Troy had gone out to get handjobs from a massage parlor.

Ant's called him a queeb a few times and Roland just seems to ignore it because it's a uncomfortable topic, or he's not gay, and he doesn't like being called gay. Not too sure.

But they're so vicious on the show that it would only be uncomfortable if he's actually gay, or they all suspect he's gay. He wouldn't mind being called gay in that type of atmosphere unless, again, he were actually gay. It's one of those things where their normal behavior and the total absence of jokes despite the daily ammunition is suspicious, or rather, mysterious.

Maybe they like Roland enough to respect his boundaries?

Well if nothing else the boys are known for respecting boundaries.

Here's what you should do: Try and get a internship with O&A and try to figure out if Roland is a homosesual and report back here.

Too many gay jokes for my tastes.

They are only vicious to people who can take it, or people they don't like. There are a TON of things they could bust Jimmy's chops about, and they don't because it would be too real.

I think Roland may be a bit to...sensitive for some jokes. And they all fear the "panda"

Roland is SO the goyem Jason Kaplan

No hes just a fat, shy fuck who doesnt want to admit hes a fat cow.

There's no mystery to Roland. He's an ass.

Roland is a fucking asshole. Fuck him. He's a terrible person that says passive aggressive cunty things and thinks its cute cuz he sounds like a fag. He's the only staff member I dislike

I remember that, they did swerve Jay off that topic quickly. I took that to mean that Roland is gay and they all know it, but don't want it turning into a bashing opportunity.

[deleted]

I would buy that if it weren't for his job. By definition he has to network and make professional connections. Perhaps he just doesn't know how to "be gay" like Fez so he comes off as socially awkward in his personal, romantic life.

he talked about frequent visits to massage parlors about 1-2 years ago.

Yeah Yeah, BBQ and handjobs!

his giggle, while i love it every time i hear it, certainly doesn't do him any favors.

Sometimes when he visits he puts his hands over his face and completely disappears!

I love how Mysterious is the new "Gay"... way better than a qweeb or qway

It's the new "thug".

Laugh your tears away, fucking regard brain

No, he's just an asshole. And the more we talk about it, the happier Opie gets.

[deleted]

Troy vouched for Roland one day on the aftershow and said Roland isn't gay at all

Roland's dating Dawn Cumia.

[deleted]

He's not gay, but he does not get any ass.

What kind of self respecting man goes around wondering if strange men on SXM are gay or not? Unless......nah....low hanging fruit.

Who said I have self-respect?

Honestly I'm more interested in the policy of never mentioning this more than than the actual truth. The dynamic of topics they choose to avoid vs. topics they beat to death is intriguing,

I was being ridiculous. It is kind of strange how they tiptoe around Roland, but maybe they actually like the guy and know his self esteem is so low that he'd jump out of a window if they made him cry on air.

Yeah, that was a bad line on my part. Is there a Chip font?

I'm sure that's why they leave him alone, but you'd think Roland would almost encourage a few quips to throw his poor latin mother off the scent.

It's all good. We're here because we can take ribbing and enjoy listening to the boys berate their friends and coworkers.

I remember they talked a little bit of shit to Roland during the Cronuts debacle, but it was very clear that they weren't going to go as far as what they go with Eric Nagel the Sex Bagel aka that fat fuck.

I've gotta admit, I'd feel bad if they made Roland cry on air. Seems that he's one fat joke away from taking a header off the roof.