Sam's mom telling the story of Sam proposing to Jess: "And then Sam went down on one knee..."

Anthony: "Who's One Knee?"

Purple suit and a giant coffin.

This and it never will be topped.

When Patrice just belts out during Michio Kaku's phoner:

"This fucking guy is smart as shit! Go on Jeopardy nigga!"

http://youtu.be/r56UXjGytzE?t=4m55s

...wait for it..

If I was Michio Kaku and Patrice complimented me like that I would feel honored

I think the hardest I've laughed is when Jimmy called the birds in the gulf "oil thieves". His animal rants are the best.

A close 2nd was his rant about bears.

When Anthony was catfished by a 50 year old man

When was this?

Few months ago. Maybe a year ago at this point. It was barely talked about on the show and Ant admitted nothing but Wackbag was convinced that Ant bought a 50-year-old man pretending to be a girl an iPad Mini.

You know what.....weird feeling this might be true....

It's definitely true and Sam can confirm if

It is. Her tag was @SelfCuttingGirl - typical Antbait.

https://twitter.com/search?q=selfcuttinggirl&src=typd

Seems rather age appropriate.

colin: "anthony looks like a back alley tunisian knife fighter" / "he looks like a corsican pimp"

Colin said that Bobby Kelly looks like a last minute gift at the Beijing Airport.

"Read this palm you gypsy bitch." - Patrice

Holy shit does that line get me every time.

"Don't worry Ladies and Gentlemen. Those chains are made of tensile steel!"

Patrice and Louis CK talking about history

There was some discussion about governmental transparency and Jimmy said, "I don't have a problem with transparency. If a male-parency wants to become a female..." and he trailed off into wheezy laughter.

Wheezy laughter is the best ending.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zV3xJXW0gRg

Lot's of awesome awful jokes before Chip even existed.

Colin's line about Anthony and Jill getting together. I don't remember it but it was osmething along the lines of "Two Italians hooked up on Long Island, who gives a fuck" Imagine that but perfectly worded and timed by CQ.

I literally died laughing. I'm a ghost.

EDIT: the biggest non-joke laugh is Patrice's reaction to the up/down game where he falls out of his chair laughing. That video never doesn't make me laugh.

I believe it was, "Two dumb Long Island Italians fornicating like rabbits. Wow. What an event". lol

What I loved about it was the whole show had turned into a bunch of high school kids - no one could believe Anthony was hooking up with this real adult woman from the teevee - and then Colin comes in and destroys the whole thing in one sentence.

I have to hear this.

Does anyone have a link to the colin line?

There you go

check out Patrice on "The No Name Show" and his take on the song Creep

Anthony's line about Lacy Peterson's unborn child handing her a bouquet of seaweed and saying, "Mama, 'dis fer you."

Sweet Jimmy saying the criminal conjoined twin should have to wear a bird cage over her head.

L O L !!!

Clip?

It's pretty recent, but this one cracked me the fuck up... Jimmy was annoyed with his headphones because they were switched from his normal ones.

Jimmy: "Why do these say S-T-U?"

Ant: "Because they forgot the P-I-D."

My favorite joke involved a hot air balloon, bras, and one huge bomb.

Ant: Oh, it's like you're getting a pedicure.

Uncle Paul: Pedo-what?

(Uproarious laughter)

Uncle Paul: There is no cure.

Do you mean like one-liner? Or a bit/segment? And the best Michio Kaku line hands down is Uncle Paul asking if an older universe could go inside of a really young universe.

One liner.

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The hardest I've ever laughed from the show was when Patrice talked about how he eats watermelon like a dirty slave.

LAWD HAVE MERCEY!

Bobo to Patrice "Alright knock it off, spade"

Patrice's reply "you're right Bobo, when you put it like that I'm sorry man" was awesome too.

Anthony describing Sandy Cane as "a Dallas Cowboys cheerleader who opened the Ark of the Covenant"

Back when Jimmy would bait the guys by either pretending to have a great story, or just pretending not to know something obvious. I love the tension between sleepy Jimmy's impending BS, Anthony's curiosity, and Opie's knowing, "don't ask him, Ant, don't do it!"

I heard it in a Sleepy Jimmy compilation early on in my fandom, so I don't know which show it was from. Totally sold me on Jimmy, though. I couldn't stop laughing at his rambling, annoying, silly stories.

Oh shit I love sleepy jimmy, link to compilation?

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=-0-zlAicWWk

I'm new to reddit and a retard with computers, so I don't know how to give you a fancy link. Hope this is ok!

Edit: probably it isn't. The video is on YouTube, uploaded by the user LawsonComedy, or Lawson Leong.

Sorry for my incompetence.

This is great, thanks!

when they were watching Neil Patrick Harris host the Tonys and he was singing a song about weather and Jim goes "but could you imagine controlling the weather with your hands?" and Ant goes "ohhh, it'll be great, control the weather with your fist... make a mudslide." had wheezy jimmy going for a minute and half

Jimmy even laughed trying to repeat it

That was a great day all around.

Lol it's almost too new to put on the list but when jim said he had AHBD....Adorable Hugable Boy Disorder. And without missing a beat ant goes "oh, I see you're cured" LMAO

Back-alley Tunisian Knifefighter

Opie: "I went to college to learn how to drink" Ant: "...I was home schooled" and the roaring laughter from Jimmy that followed.

Jimmy: "Why does my headset say 'STU' on them?" Ant: "they left the 'PID' out".

also the whole "paralyzed Opie" where everyone piled on: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uwzR_GOjCZQ

They were listening to a Carpenters song on the air one day and Jimmy just blurts out, "...That fat bitch could sing."

I can still die laughing just thinking about it. Most perfectly timed joke ever.

during the bra bomb replay, the boys had said they were dressed in fatigues and were in reality at a ihop and vos asked if they gave them some free pancakes for the troops

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Donna the Deer Lady Jocktober follow up.

Jimmy: "The neighbor children put on gloves and pack my vagina full of deer feces…"

…trails off into studio laughter…

"…I'm very sick."

I piss myself every time.

(Someone swears and gets dumped)

Lady Di: That didn't make the air, did it?

Ant: No....and you couldn't make the air with a rocket strapped to your back.

It was the timing of it, mainly.

"Tony likes to have his hog sucked"

Can people submit links if they have them, I am dying laughing just reading the descriptions

Another contender is when Anthony asked Opie if he was going to go spin records again

Not a one liner but a bit.

Rich Vos doing a free comedy show at Starbucks during the walkover. I think it was in '06. Right before the Stern fan attacked Ben.

Louie ck was talking about how he put whip cream on his dick and let his dog lick it off and then he said he also let a retarted girl blow him tooand with out missing a beat ant just said " whip cream would of worked on her" Another one with Louis ck in he was show a video of his dog drinking water from a hose and they were look at where most people viewed it from an it was Poland and once again ant I think said acting like a " that's how they learned to drink water"

Anthony ( talking about Patrice as he rants and raves in the background ) : "dont worry ladies and gentlemen, those chains are made of tensile steel !"

Patrice calling Sandy Kane an unwrapped mummy.

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I exploded in laughter today when opie said "no, that's Howard's Christmas card" when a caller referenced some dark haired trans looking girl in some commercial. Ope isn't as funny as Ant or Jimmy, but he has some good moments.

any one liner from this show works for me I love that Opie was like fuck talking I am not getting bashed

Not really a single joke but the hardest I've laughed at the show are the Bobo pranks: telling Bobo to say racist shit in the DMV, "Stop this bus I'm gunna shit my pants!" and "Look what you did! Look what you did!"

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Gotta show Opie some love, when they were discussing how carrot top would be a problem in a fight, he said something like "He'll beat the shit out you with a rubber chicken."

The "lead hat" line made me laugh for a week every time I thought about it.

The hat removal bit...brilliance.

http://youtu.be/rSrPgIFI_Ps

i also seriously lol'd almost hard enough to crash a car at jimmy's "dr. sleeves - fa la la la" from 12-19-13.

Shut up cunts, it's BoBo time.

norton: birds are faggots.

patrice: norton takes the shape of the container he's poured in.

colin: bob kelly looks like his grandmother got raped on the khyber pass.

opie: get the wig.

ant: racially inappropriate bells, too many to list.