| By: JoeCumiaDotCom Score: 1 Date: 2019-04-12 19:09:09 (UTC) Sub: patrickstomlinson |

By u/Ant_Sucks

Hi , I'm a character in a Patrick S. Tomlinson novel", said the strong powerful woman. "Nice to meet you, I'm also a character in a Patrick S. Tomlinson novel", replied a man in a masculine tone. "You are both very smart and capable officers of a Starship", said the Robot. "And I am the ship's robot, fully trained in expository dialogue and the occasional comic relief". "Isn't it fun for the reader to read all this dialogue and no description of what's happening", said the woman thoughtfully, though not actually thinking, just saying the words out loud. "No, not at all", replied the man. "It's actually awful writing". "How dare you", replied the strong powerful woman as she....

| By: JoeCumiaDotCom Score: 1 Date: 2019-04-12 19:11:27 (UTC) Sub: patrickstomlinson |

By u/hermesgate

Chapter 33: Steamia stepped down from the strider glider and shot the captain a look. “You’re not going to get off that easy,” she said, as she strapped into her tactical bra. “Get serious,” he said. “It’s not all fun and games anymore. We’re in Keptcha’s territory. You know as well as I do how it feels about outsiders. Their people can smell our pheromones.” The captain unsheathed his boomdagun and loaded two shots. “Well, well,” Steamia said as she blinked her second set of eyelids, “I didn’t know you cared.” The captain winced and thought back to that acid world where he first learned the unbridled infatuation every carbon creature, no matter man, woman or sinth mix had for him. “Just stick to the script,” he said. He powered up his jump boots and set the fear from his mind.

| By: JoeCumiaDotCom Score: 1 Date: 2019-04-12 19:14:07 (UTC) Sub: patrickstomlinson |

CHAPTER 19 By his own calculations, Lt. Tomlinson had been on the uncharted planet for approximately 8 months. Though he couldn't know for sure because the onboard A.I. in his Federation ship had malfunctioned about a month after crashing. His shoulder had healed faster than expected but he began to suspect the pain in his leg, along with the limp that accompanied it, would be lifelong. "Well, this is what you wanted." he thought to himself for the millionth time. Patrick had always dreamt of being a Ranger in the Federation Aerospace Group. It was a F.A.G. Ranger's duty to patrol the universe righting wrongs and dispensing justice as they saw fit, within federation law. And Patrick S. Tomlinson was one of the best damn F.A.G. Rangers there ever was. His countless awards and immense popularity back on Zindu attested to that fact. He'd also accumulated his fair share of enemies. Such as Sha Piro, a crafty alien shape shifter who commanded an army of embryos. He and the Lieutenant had battled early in his F.A.G. career. But Tomlinson had never encountered anything like the Ch'ildren, as he had started calling them. They were vicious and numbered anywhere in the hundreds to possibly thousands, he wasn't sure. The nights were the worst. He could feel them encircling his camp, hear their taunting shouts, and smell the excrement they would occasionally hurl. Lt. Tomlinson drifted off in to sleep, recalling Captain Liz Clark, a fellow F.A.G. Ranger, and the night of unleashed passion they had shared together before his departure on what he had promised her would be "a routine mission". He felt so safe in her big strong arms. He could almost feel her in his dreams...almost....

| By: TranthonyRapesKids Score: 2 Date: 2019-04-13 19:20:51 (UTC) Sub: patrickstomlinson |

“After pulling his dick out of the baby’s ass who he raped and murdered, Fatrick quickly realized that law enforcement was on the way. He took a shit on the baby’s dead body, then raped and murdered both their parents. He then got on a spaceship to flee the authorities who were pursuing him for rape and murder”

| By: chik-fil-a Score: 1 Date: 2019-04-13 19:29:43 (UTC) Sub: patrickstomlinson |

Preface: "My name is Patrick Tomlinson. I'm a writer and activist. Nothing brings me more joy than owning trolls on Twitter. I also enjoy fucking prepubescent children.

| By: JoeCumiaDotCom Score: 5 Date: 2019-04-12 19:10:26 (UTC) Sub: patrickstomlinson |

By u/OkaySeriouslyBro

Chapter 11

Captain Harold Davidson shut off his communicator, stared into the eyes of his officer. "Lieutenant Tomlinson, this isn't right. Please close your robe." The sight of her was majestic, her pale freckled breasts juicy and welcoming. The blood began to rush to his nether regions, and Captain Davidson knew if she got a glimpse of how large he was, this situation would worsen. "You saved my life on Xephypso", Daisy said, "I've never had a man do that for me." "What about your husband? This voyage has taken months but he's waiting for you back on Sulrarth." "All he does on Sulrath is scream about the Ghamak! It's so tiring to hear him spout Kugnul propaganda in that condescending tone of his." Daisy began to cry, and closed her robe ashamed. She sat down on the Captain's sofa, and faced him with tears in her eyes. "That moment that Grucan assassin held a Phurqi blade to my throat, I saw my life flash before my eyes. Then to see you tell me you were always coming back for me." The Captain squirmed. It was against code to sleep with an officer while on an active mission. He could lose his career over this. His full thick erection wasn't listening to the logic of his head. In his 25 years traveling the universe, all the alien races he's slept with, he had never been more turned on that that moment. "Captain Davidson... do you think I'm ugly?" "Of course not." "I know I'm younger than you, but dammit Captain Davidson, you need to open up after your wife died in the battle of Astea City. I won't tell anyone, I promise. I've only ever been with my husband, and after what we did, I'm practically a virgin. I'm sorry, I'm sorry I did any of this." Daisy stood up and made a bolt for the door. "Daisy, wait." Captain Davidson stopped her at the door, but Daisy gasped as she looked downward. Was the Captain smuggling a Chix'ul bone in his pants? "Is... is that a cybernetic enhancement?" Daisy asked. "No, that's all me." The captain opened up her robe as it fell to the floor, discarded. Daisy closed her eyes as he caressed her nubile body. He ran her fingers through her blonde hair, suddenly pulling it back. Daisy opened her eyes and stared into his. "You're going to follow orders from your captain?" "Yes, sir" Chapter 12

"Once again, the Ghamak have everything wrong" proclaimed Patrick from the barstool at Hooligans Cantina.

| By: I_BUKAKE_LAYLA_CUMIA Score: 1 Date: 2019-04-13 01:38:38 (UTC) Sub: patrickstomlinson |

Lol thank you for your service

| By: JoeCumiaDotCom Score: 5 Date: 2019-04-12 19:18:05 (UTC) Sub: patrickstomlinson |

By u/LannisterLoyalist

Chapter 12

"Once again, the Ghamak have everything wrong" proclaimed Patrick from the barstool at Hooligans Cantina. Patrick shuffled off his bar stool and sucked in as much air as his breast heft would allow. He surveyed the crowd. This was his moment to stand and reach for the glory he so desperately craved. In his most authoritative voice he proclaimed to the entire bar, “This is why it’s the responsibily of every Kugnul to punch Ghamaks when they see them!” For most of the patrons, the beating a solarian moth’s wings could be heard over their applause. Though he’d failed to raise the crowd he’d imagined he’d lead to the laser gates of the Ghamak embassy, he was able to arouse the interest of two of his fellow drunks. The first looked at him, admiring the daring man who, despite being Namblanian, had the classic rounded features of Seacowus royalty. “I really liked what you had to say”, she managed to say between heaving slobbering breaths. “You have one pretty little psycho in your corner!” Patrick stared at ‘her’, mesmerized by the undulatating of her girth like the ebb and flow of a gentle surf. Finally, Patrick had his first disciple! This was it! The beginning of his triumph over the Spacels that mocked him on the Galnet…. The second patron roused by Patricks whinging announcement slammed his cup on the table so hard that the remaining child dribble spilled from it. Patrick stared at the angered Niggrumian, not realizing the level of anger it would take for one of his kind to waste precious spittle. The Niggrumian rose to his hooves, showing an impressive height of over six solfeet. His mate, a tall slender beauty, initially begged him to not to make a scene, but she was so overcome with his magnificent size that her begging turned to swooning. He patted her head and assured her their stars would align before turning his attention back to Patrick. “Hey Kugtard, I fought in the Ghamak army, 52nd Tubers, why don’t you punch me? Patrick’s beady eyes widened at and met the dull bovine gaze of the Niggrumian. Why would a mucus loving Niggrumian insist he was Ghamak, when he was clearly a different species? “Oh Child, you ‘Ghamaks’ don’t understand that the little ones need an adult to teach them the ways of love. Go back to your mother’s pasture with all the other spacels! Patrick screeched at the top of his reedy voice. The Niggrumian began flailing his arms wildly and stamping his feet. “So so so so so so so", he stammered while gesticulating wildly, “you’re saying that because my brother sends holo-screens to younglings in the hope that they will gratify him, he’s a Kugnul?” Patrick had no response, but it did not matter because the Niggrumian lowered his head baring the small horn nubs protruding from an otherwise smooth cranium and charged. Patrick could see his life flashing before his eyes. Had he really said child that much? Before he could contemplate his wasted life more, a shadow stretched across his view. The Seacowus moved with suprising speed and strength. She slammed into the Niggrumian, halting his charge. The two mammoth creatures pushed and struggled against one another, with the Seacowus clearly gaining the upper hand. The Niggrumian shook his head in rage. How could he lose? He’d been injecting Bovosterone directly into testicles for years and yet he could not hope move her. She truly was a pretty little psycho. He looked to his woman, to soothe the pain of defeat but it she was already gone. Their schedules had clashed again, and much like with the Seacowus, he was on the losing end. Patrick could not believe his luck. He’d talked about being in a barfights constantly on the Galnet, but this time he’d be telling the truth when he said he’d won! The Seacowus waddled over to him, thick with a dew of mucous from her physical exertion. “I sure could use a drink after all that!” She nervously hinted. Patrick ignored her, smiling to himself and deep in thought. He could just imagine how the spacels would quiver in fear when he retold this story later on the Galnet. He couldn’t wait to tell his beloved Daisy next time he spoke to her. Every time he’d tried previously, it had said his number was blocked, but that couldn’t be the case. It must be Sulraths terrible network. “I wonder what she’s doing right now?” He spoke aloud to no one in particular.

| By: Bennieand Score: 1 Date: 2019-04-13 04:11:42 (UTC) Sub: patrickstomlinson |

Lmao

| By: JoeCumiaDotCom Score: 1 Date: 2019-04-12 19:15:01 (UTC) Sub: patrickstomlinson |

By u/zzzacca999

Epilogue: ​ The spaceship pilot was looking out his windshield with an almost dead stare at the universe. I could only imagine what was going on in his mind. I knew damn well it wasn't Apollo Air Conditioning. He had some dream, some other than piloting that spaceship that he would rather have been doing. I fucking empathized with this guy that I didn't even know, but I did at the same time. ​ He and I were in such different worlds at this point. He had no idea that the guy next to him in the brand-new exotic rocket ship used to be him. I was that guy! ​ I'm not saying I'm better than this guy, because I'm not. I'm just saying I can relate, and when I saw his face, it brought me right back to where I used to be. I know that when I was sitting where he was, I wanted to be something different. The odds that someone will get out of that situation are astronomical, but I did. ​ This young air-conditioning guy turned his head and saw me looking at him. I gave him a nod, and he flipped me the finger. I then engaged the warp drive and took off at about 120 miles per second, never looking back - only forward, mother-fucker

| By: JoeCumiaDotCom Score: 1 Date: 2019-04-12 19:13:11 (UTC) Sub: patrickstomlinson |

By u/LannisterLoyalist

Chapter 12

"Once again, the Ghamak have everything wrong" proclaimed Patrick from the barstool at Hooligans Cantina. Patrick shuffled off his bar stool and sucked in as much air as his breast heft would allow. He surveyed the crowd. This was his moment to stand and reach for the glory he so desperately craved. In his most authoritative voice he proclaimed to the entire bar, “This is why it’s the responsibily of every Kugnul to punch Ghamaks when they see them!” For most of the patrons, the beating a solarian moth’s wings could be heard over their applause. Though he’d failed to raise the crowd he’d imagined he’d lead to the laser gates of the Ghamak embassy, he was able to arouse the interest of two of his fellow drunks. The first looked at him, admiring the daring man who, despite being Namblanian, had the classic rounded features of Seacowus royalty. “I really liked what you had to say”, she managed to say between heaving slobbering breaths. “You have one pretty little psycho in your corner!” Patrick stared at ‘her’, mesmerized by the undulatating of her girth like the ebb and flow of a gentle surf. Finally, Patrick had his first disciple! This was it! The beginning of his triumph over the Spacels that mocked him on the Galnet…. The second patron roused by Patricks whinging announcement slammed his cup on the table so hard that the remaining child dribble spilled from it. Patrick stared at the angered Niggrumian, not realizing the level of anger it would take for one of his kind to waste precious spittle. The Niggrumian rose to his hooves, showing an impressive height of over six solfeet. His mate, a tall slender beauty, initially begged him to not to make a scene, but she was so overcome with his magnificent size that her begging turned to swooning. He patted her head and assured her their stars would align before turning his attention back to Patrick. “Hey Kugtard, I fought in the Ghamak army, 52nd Tubers, why don’t you punch me? Patrick’s beady eyes widened at and met the dull bovine gaze of the Niggrumian. Why would a mucus loving Niggrumian insist he was Ghamak, when he was clearly a different species? “Oh Child, you ‘Ghamaks’ don’t understand that the little ones need an adult to teach them the ways of love. Go back to your mother’s pasture with all the other spacels! Patrick screeched at the top of his reedy voice. The Niggrumian began flailing his arms wildly and stamping his feet. “So so so so so so so", he stammered while gesticulating wildly, “you’re saying that because my brother sends holo-screens to younglings in the hope that they will gratify him, he’s a Kugnul?” Patrick had no response, but it did not matter because the Niggrumian lowered his head baring the small horn nubs protruding from an otherwise smooth cranium and charged. Patrick could see his life flashing before his eyes. Had he really said child that much? Before he could contemplate his wasted life more, a shadow stretched across his view. The Seacowus moved with suprising speed and strength. She slammed into the Niggrumian, halting his charge. The two mammoth creatures pushed and struggled against one another, with the Seacowus clearly gaining the upper hand. The Niggrumian shook his head in rage. How could he lose? He’d been injecting Bovosterone directly into testicles for years and yet he could not hope move her. She truly was a pretty little psycho. He looked to his woman, to soothe the pain of defeat but it she was already gone. Their schedules had clashed again, and much like with the Seacowus, he was on the losing end. Patrick could not believe his luck. He’d talked about being in a barfights constantly on the Galnet, but this time he’d be telling the truth when he said he’d won! The Seacowus waddled over to him, thick with a dew of mucous from her physical exertion. “I sure could use a drink after all that!” She nervously hinted. Patrick ignored her, smiling to himself and deep in thought. He could just imagine how the spacels would quiver in fear when he retold this story later on the Galnet. He couldn’t wait to tell his beloved Daisy next time he spoke to her. Every time he’d tried previously, it had said his number was blocked, but that couldn’t be the case. It must be Sulraths terrible network. “I wonder what she’s doing right now?” He spoke aloud to no one in particular.