This story totally happened
1 2019-05-25 by PsychopathyRed
I went to the gym today to run a few miles, as I do a few times a week in the winter. Between miles, I sometimes hop on a row machine for a few minutes just to change muscle groups.
While I was rowing, a lady was on a stairmaster next to me. I don't know her, but I've been seeing her come in since the beginning of the year. So a resolutioner who survived the first three weeks. Good on her. Now, there's no way to beat around it, this is a large lady, well into obese territory from a medical standpoint. But she's on this stairmaster just fucking crushing it. Probably 75-80 stairs a minute, for a good 15 minutes by the time I sit down to row, which is more than I can do at the moment.
And wouldn't you know, some fucking brototype just has to walk by and say something shitty about her weight to me. She's got earbuds in, but the look on her face tells me she heard.
Now, I've been going to the gym regularly for four and a half years, and at my gym, you almost never hear shit like this. And there's a good reason for that, it's rude, cruel, and entirely counter-productive.
So I got up from my machine and told him, "Wait right there." Then I went and grabbed two 60lb dumbells off the free weight rack and handed them to him.
"What are these for?" The brotosaurus asked.
"For you, while you do stairs for..." I glanced at her display, "15 minutes."
"What? I can't do stairs with that much extra weight," he said.
"Really? Because she can. So until you're as tough as she is, maybe keep your mouth shut," I said.
Because I'm sorry, but that shit isn't going to fly around me. I have my issues with the body positivity movement and its tactic acceptance of unhealthy lifestyles, but this is someone who has made a commitment to changing her circumstances and is putting in the REALLY hard work necessary.
The dead last thing anyone in her situation needs, or deserves, is some little brohemian asshole who can't relate to what she's going through making snide remarks while she's actively engaging in making a positive change. She has earned encouragement from other people making the same strides. And if that's too hard, then the least she deserves is his silence.
End gym rant.
31 comments
1 PsychopathyRed 2019-05-25
Big Ass Disclaimer:
Like it or not, ready to admit it to yourselves or not, the primaries are over. It's going to be Clinton vs Trump in the general, baring an unprecidented miracle, (or disaster, depending on your point of view).
As such, I am done being any shred of nice.
If you feel the need from this point forward to attack or defame Secretary Clinton, you are working for Donald Trump. You are helping a literal fascist in their ham-handed attempt to grab control of our country, whether you are smart enough to realize it or not, and I will treat you as the appeasing little jackhole you are acting like.
My wall, your wall, I don't give a shit where it happens, you are going to hear from me, and it's not going to be couched in flowery language.
Progressives. Sanders has done a tremendous job pulling the national political conversation back towards the center. He is the first person in over a generation to do so. You can be proud of him, and you should be. Going forward, you can continue to spread his message by supporting down-ticket candidates and local politicians who will grow to decide the future direction of the party. But attacking your own party's nominee, that's verboten. Knock it off. We have the most important election of our generation to win, and I'm not just talking about the White House. The Senate, House, and Supreme Court for the next twenty years are all on the line. This election is about far more than one office. Start acting like it.
Conservatives. Look, I know. This isn't how you wanted it to turn out. You thought you'd get a sane Bush, or maybe you're still pulling for Kasich. But we both know that's not happening. You spent thirty years whipping up uneducated racists into a frenzy hoping to lock down their votes, only to watch a genuine uneducated racist steal them away like some kind of white supremacist Pied Piper. It sucks, but this is the bed you made. Trump is your fault, and it's your responsibility as Americans to help stop him. That means holding your damned tongues and either voting for the most moderate, pro-business democrat you're ever likely to see again in your lifetimes, or staying home. Pick one.
But as of right now, anyone who helps Trump, either directly or indirectly, is fair game. And believe me, it will be a race to see who blocks who faster.
Play time is over, kiddos. America is on the line. This is my home, and I'm going to defend her the best way I know how. With a lot of facts and swearing.
1 PlugsandLifts 2019-05-25
He thinks he’s Patton giving a pre-battle speech. The soy’s rotted his brain. No wonder his wife left him.
1 realestassdude 2019-05-25
It is possible a gypsy told our Patton that his wife would support Trump in the future. He had to do what needed to be done.
1 AirBuddDwyer 2019-05-25
Fatso really doesn't have any real life experience doing anything. He takes all of his cues from faggy superhero movies. He has no clue how transparent and pathetic these melodramatic "rallying cries" are.
1 babysealclubber1 2019-05-25
zip it faggit
1 yevyoyevyo 2019-05-25
Sometimes I ask myself, "does he deserve all of this?" Then I read shit like this and remember that he does.
1 literalotherkin 2019-05-25
Good for her. It's that first few weeks that is murder and really demoralizing but she pushed through.
This is why I set up a home gym. Can't stand the people who go to the gym.
1 PsychopathyRed 2019-05-25
lol yes it is
Personally I've never seen anybody get fucked with at the gym.
1 literalotherkin 2019-05-25
I fucking stink.
1 StentFeznor 2019-05-25
Especially not the obese people. Shitty comments to them is like kicking a puppy. Plus, if you're super helpful to the fatties and old folks then the girls notice that more than how much you lift.
1 juschippinyababe 2019-05-25
Everyone is trying to better themselves at the gym, no one fucks with each other unless they're doing something insanely dangerous which is 8/10 times a dumb fucking broad. Although I did see a man doing stiff legged deadlifts while standing on a bench yesterday, was fucking retardedly dangerous.
1 BeigeFrequency 2019-05-25
At least in Alabama, agoosh
1 naturalinfidel 2019-05-25
Oh literal literalotherkin
1 StentFeznor 2019-05-25
An author who has no awareness of the things he writes.
1 shickadantz 2019-05-25
This dude lives in a fantasy world where he is just a superhero. Just about every one of these stories he puts out is so obviously completely fabricated. It’s hilarious how he thinks people are buying it and think he’s this cool Renaissance man when he is just an uneducated, portly, ugly, toddler-faced schlub wrapped in a layer of brat fat from a state nobody gives a fuck about.
I would love to review his stupid fucking book but I can’t bear giving him even the measly $2 that piece of shit costs.
1 PsychopathyRed 2019-05-25
GoodReads.com
1 shickadantz 2019-05-25
I want to read the piece of garbage and provide a review here for the fellas. Then we can pick it apart and make fun of him with new material.
1 Amish_Supremacist 2019-05-25
what a fucking weirdo
1 gaykentuckypride_yay 2019-05-25
wow an alpha move.....from a shit o&a reddit poster?
hows the ten percent feel
1 PsychopathyRed 2019-05-25
I don't even know what you're getting at, faggot.
1 Amish_Supremacist 2019-05-25
I think you might have spelled Joe wrong
1 iWhoreSchortSchorts 2019-05-25
This exact same thing happened to me but my buddy who was videotaping it fell out of the closet laughing. I wish I still had the tape because everyone started cheering and 3 women simultaneously started sucking me off because I’m such an ally to women.
1 CumpoundMedia 2019-05-25
This is right behind Ron finding that wallet in the back seat of a taxi and returning it to it's rightful owner.
1 yevyoyevyo 2019-05-25
The best thing in this fantastical daydream Fatso had of setting some gym rat straight is the fact that he looked her up and down, probably making her very uncomfortable, and estimated that she was 120 lbs overweight lmao
1 G4YN1GG3R 2019-05-25
I'm not reading all that, but you are a faggot
1 DHFearnot 2019-05-25
The fat woman was actually Pat and the hero was who he imagined like in his super hero movies came to save him.
You need to read between the lines in things like these.
1 TheKingOfNeverLose 2019-05-25
This sort of shit never happens at gyms.
1 SpiralStatic90 2019-05-25
The funniest part is Patrick fantasizing that an alpha would share an in-joke with his fat ass as if he were one of them and not a clone of the whale being mocked.
1 throwbenny 2019-05-25
I can't tell if this is satirical or not
1 polybius565 2019-05-25
I'm not sure exactly where he lost me on the story but it might have been the part where the sci-fi author who works out daily had to use a stock image of weight rack for this post.
​
https://www.patrickstomlinson.com/2016/03/02/burn-calories-and-bullies-at-the-gym/
1 big_box_of_sharpies 2019-05-25
So, did the white knight get any big gurl action? Be careful, you know what happened to that Schumer pig