Jim wants a dog....

27  2019-05-21 by AiCPearlJam

"That fuckinnn scummmbaaggg chewed up my Ozzy slippers while I was doing the radio show yesterday...."

Without realizing he knows nothing about raising dogs and actually taking them to the park or for a walk to work off energy. He will beat it and take it to a kennel after three weeks when it starts chewing his furniture.

27 comments

1  CrownChicken 2019-05-21

I hope it chews up his Ozzy dolls.

1  JoeCumiasFryingPan 2019-05-21

I hope it chews his neck open

1  SirSodomy 2019-05-21

Hopefully he ends up hurting the dog and Reddit as a whole starts attacking him

1  TheGhostOfAbeVigoda 2019-05-21

Jim seems like the type to haul off and boot a dog in the ribs as hard as he can for something really minor. He'd also probably get a small dog that could die from that.

1  throwawizzlemahnizzl 2019-05-21

Rip Chester

1  JoeCumiasFryingPan 2019-05-21

OH MOY GAWD WHAT APPENNA CHESTA?

1  TreeFortRichardsTCel 2019-05-21

RIP Beavis

1  AiCPearlJam 2019-05-21

Opie had to kick his dog to save a small child from getting bit. Jim's child is an Ozzy slipper.

1  SibHashian13 2019-05-21

Yes but then young twenty something female comics could give him attention and sympathy because his dog got “hurt”

1  OkaySeriouslyBro 2019-05-21

He'd buy one of those glamor $1000 breeds as a puppy, get bored within a week, give it away and refuse to discuss the issue when callers bring it up

1  RealTonySchiavone 2019-05-21

Caller: Jim, what the fuck happened to the dog you neglected?

Morton: Sir? I can't hear you sir, you're panicking. Don't worry about the dog, it's at a good a home now. What does it matter to you, baby boy?

1  aprosbro 2019-05-21

He'll get rid of the dog immediately and keep it a secret for months, like Fez did with skippy.

Dogs also hate when you get laid.

1  Deaumont 2019-05-21

Especially by lantern jawed norsemen and “ladies.”

1  Phkna1 2019-05-21

He should not be allowed to have a dog.

1  RichardInaTreeFort 2019-05-21

He absolutely should not. Most people can’t take care of their dogs properly and most people are better than Jim at everything. That dog would suffer. They need true love and attention. Not a wormy little faggot that just comes home once a day and yells at it because it wants to do something other than sit around in that faggots apartment full of pictures of people who don’t care who he is.

1  Tibor_Zutroy 2019-05-21

Truth. The minute he realizes that it won't help his career or get him laid, it's gone.

1  VowedMalice 2019-05-21

Bestiality might be the final frontier for him.

1  evil-nick 2019-05-21

that poor dogs asshole......

1  PatBattle1 2019-05-21

i'm looking into getting my first dog too. I want an o and a related dog so I'm thinking about a puggle or schnoodle!

1  suirogerg 2019-05-21

This dog will become the sub’s hero if it gets ahold of an Ozzy/sabbath/KISS artifact.

1  2UsRoadie 2019-05-21

To attract women. Creep.

1  AiCPearlJam 2019-05-21

He's taken the "I probably swiped right for your dog" in to heart. A futile fruity move.

1  Kalikhead 2019-05-21

He is incapable of taking care of one. He’s long railed against dogs.

1  WhiskeynPeanutbutter 2019-05-21

Lot of empty peanut butter cans in that poor dogs future.

1  NortheastPhilly 2019-05-21

He should get a worm farm

1  TheElDan 2019-05-21

Good idea, he has a schedule where he’s out of town at least once a week, and when he is in town he’s out at night and gone all morning. What a wonderful life that dog is going to have.

1  LiberalPussy 2019-05-21

I don’t trust anyone who never had a pet in their life.