Artie Lange’s nose has better structure than Fatrick’s writing.

At least one of his friends owns a ferret. Even that guy makes fun of him behind his back.

He seriously looks like he's sucking in his fat, hence the awkward stance.

This picture is a great example of that.

He’s trying not to sweat through his shirt so he’s holding his arms away from his body.

If it weren’t for Morton, I’d say I never saw a more physically uncomfortable person who pretends he’s a standup comedian.

I-have-a-serious-head-injury natural stance

This would actually explain a lot about him.

Fatrick says he sold 200 preorders but he probably bought at least 100 himself

Someone mentioned previously its highly likely he had to pay for the first 1000 copies before he makes any money

He’s selling about six books a month through Amazon. Guess he’s going to have to find a real job.

So thats what "six figures" refers to

Don’t forget the copies that he pressures uncomfortable women to buy at the bar.

No offense to the authors here, but he said 200 as if it was an accomplishment

of course it was a lie, even then how tHE FUCK does he pay taxes on zero income? Blowin cock id assume but still

$20,000 in taxes, if im not mistaken

If you grab his bitchtits when you toss him from the helicopter, he’ll reach terminal velocity five seconds quicker.

A gay black space marine. Good to see he’s incorporating more of his homoerotic fantasies in his work.

i tried to catch what he said after "gay" but couldn't

more pandering to the people he detests i guess

"Its got a gay black space marine" that's faggot, what's the story about though?

He's got the charismatic delivery of a third grader faking his way through a book report.

Nice strategically placed reptile, stupid

What we didn't see was the shit stains all over the back of his shirt

Fatty think he Jabba Hut.

He looks like Seth McFarland having an anaphylactic attack.

He's been working on it for a decade? Even for him that's embarrassing.

Dostoevsky took just over a year and a half to write Crime and Punishment, one of the greatest works of literature ever put to paper. Fatrick took a decade to bash out a paint-by-numbers Hitchhikers Guide rip off. It better be good!

I cannot look at him talk.

If he wasn't such a prick I'd feel genuinely sorry for him. He has such a weak victim/frightened fat boy face and way about him. If you just went by this video, you'd think he was a pandering idiot ("gay black space marine" etc) but otherwise a fairly harmless dork. His online personality is so incongruous with the pitiful, soft-faced man-child pleading for affirmation in this clip.

If he wasn't such a prick I'd feel genuinely sorry for him.

Same. You have to remember his tweets calling anyone who defended norm macdonald a white supremacist, and realize that he's a complete fucking asshole.

His videos are as painfully drawn out/uninteresting as his writing.

Lizard on his shoulder to show personality. A Futurama t-shirt. Fat folds in the corners of his mouth. Eyes like an Asian person. Very dishonorable.

Seppuku is the only option.

am vomit

I have one of those shirts at home. It's now going in the trash

Nice color-organized books, autistic faggot.

He grabbed the knife by the blade like a fuckin' sally.

This reminds me of that time in Marseilles that Hemingway forcibly face-fucked Alice B. Toklas for 6 drunken hours until Gertrude Stein signed off on The Sun Also Rises. Ah, literature.

I liked any Alice B Toklas reference, but so far today this is my favorite.

You couldn't make this cunt up.

He’s got a pretty sexy voice. I always imagined him as having a shrill, gay-faggot voice.

Yuckeroo

chubbs called 200 preorders "really really well"

Don't you ever wonder what the African Americans campaigning for civil rights and integration in the 50's and 60's would've thought if they knew their efforts would culminate in pandering effeminate liberals writing copious amounts of black homosexual fiction and promoting black homosexuality as the height of virtue in their progressive worldview?

god damnit this sub isn't doing enough to fuck with this guy, 4chan needs to get on his case, they have real autism there.

Literally the first sentence he uses to pitch his mediocre nonsense shit contains the words "gay" and "black". Hes a fat pandering dickhead. Subpoena me you fat slob, my lawyer M's dm's are open.

I’ve never actually seen Patrick on video, so I didn’t know how much of what is said here was true. Holy fuck, what a gay homo faggot. “It has a gay black space marine!”

Wow it even has a particle accelerator!? Why is that a selling point? I guarantee nobody gets excited when they hear particle accelerator. it just sounds cool but he has no idea what a particle accelerator even does

His grasp on physics is virtually non-existent. He heard “particle accelerator” on a TV show and weaved it into his shit SJW “book”. He’s an uneducated fool.

A particle accelerator is a machine that uses electromagnetic fields to propel charged particles to very high speeds and energies, and to contain them in well-defined beams.

Wow, who cares?

The CERN Jews have been pushing memes and clickbait about LHC into the pop culture harder than fuck over the last 10 or so years to make sure the budget keeps flowing and these I FUCKING LOVE SCIENCE mongoloids therefore register it as something very cool.

Every fortysomething should have a Nerf fun in the corner. And he has the audacity to call others “child”.

His mom is filming this.

He sounds so gay.

I fucking love science

"Look how quirky I am" staged background.

matches the quirky cast of characters comprising his book. fucking hack

Throwing current pop culture references into a sci fi novel is fucking lazy

Holy shit I think I just caught AIDS watching this

He's good at picking out the right size t shirt.

Why does he have his pocket pussy on his shoulder?

There's a lot to say about what's transpiring here but I just need to point out how faggy he opens the box at the beginning.

This retard has a fat round body and Q tip arms. Would it kill him to do some fucking cardio and lift something heavier than a toddler a few times a week?

Your looking at peak male performance.

I hate his poor man's Seth Macfarlane voice

God I hate people who wear shirts from shows. Dress like a grown man you fat fag.

He uses a knife like a woman.

He looks like his name should be Patrick S. Nagel

Sad clown faced sonofagun.

Nice Nerf gun, stupid

What's that gay tattoo on his right arm? Looks like the one ring. Dork.

Why does he wear snacks on his shoulder

subhuman scum.

Nice muffin top and string bean arms, stupid.

"Gay...black...space...marine"

He just looks plain, old sad.

Jesus Christ what kind of man without children owns a Nerf gun, has a lizard on his shoulder, and toys on the shelf's. this fat Faggot is such a man-child.