Redfag and this gelatinous bag of shit really lowered my opinion of Rogan

And his gay little butt boy tony hinchcliffe

The only true and interesting story I will ever believe is his Whitney Houston story only because he was too specific in his details on his coke deliveries and how he met whitney and Ricky Racardo

I started watching his podcasts until I realized he was full of shit. How does anybody believe this guy?

Teens listen to Rogan

He is a comedian on a podcast, anyone who thinks he is serious might be clinically retarded.

Sheltered people who have never been around criminals are his target audience.

Italians are the boomer version of blacks. Everyone wanted to be one. Dice is some kike from the jew part of jersey

Five Towns?

Must be an entertainment value like with Alex Jones

Hes Italian they all lie

He's Cuban, DICKHEAD!

he pretends he's Italian

People with no older brothers

HAHAHA - He's a comedian. His Job is to tell funny stories. Why would you care or even expect that what he says is true.

Hope I'm not spoiling anything, but I'm pretty sure Eddie Murphy never asked Stevie Wonder to take the wheel either.

Hes not telling those stories to be funny on stage. Hes on a podcast lying to Rogan to try and impress him and sound like a badass

Men who started smoking weed in their 40s.

He’s definitely full of shit. Everytime he comes on he talks about how prolific of a writer he is. His standup routine has barely changed since the 90’s. Oh and he’s also huge on BJJ and trains for hours a day yet he’s morbidly obese. That all adds up.

Joe Rogan, my buddy at the time was this Velociraptor that was piloting coke into Florida for the Ochoa Brothers.

We were bananas, brother. We used to do bumps off hookers nipples midflight, Joe Rogan. We were fuckin savages, dog.

Joe Rogans, swear to GOD, da fat bastard from Seinfelds was der with a soda can filled wit macro chips. Fucken spitting dinos chased him all ova the place. I left hooked da muthafucka and we went and got 5 hookas and a bucket of fried chicken. The T-rex came with us and fucked two of da hookas. Name is Tony now and dat son of a bitch still owes me 5 dollas!

I took the brontosaurus out back and gave it a rimjob. I'm gay, Joe Rogan.

I've never seen anyone lie as much as joey diaz does. Anyone that believes his gay stories was born from pre-cum.

How you know they're fake?

These make me laugh almost as hard as the Henry Rollins bits - that fat fuck is totally full of shit.

Amity Island, Joe Rogan, June 1975, I'll never fuckin' forget it. I was on the lamb from a kidnappin' beef back in Boulder. Cocksuckas were lookin' to put me away for 15 years. So I'm layin' low in Martha's fuckin' Vinyard, dog. Ol' white ladies with fuckin' poodles and shit, it was fuckin' nuts. And I meet this kid Matt Hooper. He was doin' biology for the marines or some shit, I don't fuckin' know. But Matty Hooper got some of the best fuckin' blow you'd ever seen in your life, Joe Rogan. I'm talkin' genuine fuckin' ether blown fish scale dog. So we're doin' fuckin' rails in his house, and da whole time, I'm casin' the fuckin' joint. And dis cocksucker looks at me and says...

(Awful, emphysema voice gets low, letting the listener know he's gonna say something he thinks is really poignant/insightful)

"Da sheriff called me. Says they got a shark in the water. Great white. Me, him, and this crazy Irish cocksuckah are gonna go out and kill it."

So I tell him look dawg, I'm from Jersey, North Bergen, nobody can swim with the sharks like Ol' Joey Blue Cheese. So I went wit 'em and I jumped in the water and I stuffed an 8-ball into the shark's gills. Fuckin' thing was too gacked up to eat for a week, so it died of starvation. We got loaded on the boat and sang "Farewell and adieu ye fine Spanish ladies" dog, and that Robert Shaw cocksucker could drink, lemme tell ya. Called Matty Hooper a dirty kike. It was wild, dawg.

Joe: That’s fuckin wild, bro. When you swim with sharks, how do you not just freak the fuck out about the dinosaurs swimming around you? Nature don’t play, dude.

You should send this to him. He might offer you a ghostwriting gig.

Nigga. Ribs.

If I didn't jerk that T-Rex off, joe rogan, we woulda all been dead brother

I remember Diaz trying to tell Joe that he saw the ghost of Sam Kinison at the Comedy Store one night.

He reminds me of Feech La Manna with those awful fucking stories. No one’s buyin it, you old fart.

I tell ya Joe Rogan, this T-rex's name was Charlene and she had Big ole titties that she let me suck on. As I was sucking on them I looked over cause this fuckin cocksucka in a baby seat was screamin I'm the baby, I'm the baby. I said I'm the only baby that gets to suck on these titties you mutha fucka. That's when I looked around me and realized I was in this bitches house surrounded by her whole family Joe Rogan. They had a house with a sink and kitchen just like Cubans Joe Rogan. This was when I realized this other T-Rex mutha fucka named Robbie was tongue kissing my shit hole. This cock sucka had a tongue like an alley cat and was eating my asshole like Rich Vos eats the coochie Joe Rogan. (slows down his breathing and speech) This is when I looked over to my other side Joe, The father... Earl was filming this shit. I was the first male pornstar Joe Rogan. I have a hog that transcends the Triasic, Jurassic and Cretaceous and all other time periods Joe Rogan. John Holmes can go fuck his mother, I came first. Tremendous.

He's the Italian Tucker Max

takes a hit of joint dinosaurs are like chickens, if a chicken was the size of a t rex it would fuck you uuuuup.