Lmao I thought he was meant to be a cool party animal. This cunt is old and ugly.

Burt takes his shirt off so often that the friction slows down time for him. It's a science thing.

The daughters, on the other hand...

She looks like someone who looks really good for a 70 year old.

Buzz, your girlfriend. Woof.

Poor lady.

yeah but I would still cum in her face for national security.

I just found out the other day that she is from Alabama. Doesn’t surprise me. Lots of crazy people live in Alabama.

What part? It makes a huge difference.

Not even sure. I just heard Bert mention she is from Alabama. I live outside Birmingham but I’ve traveled all across the states and Alabama and Florida are some fucked up places to live.

I'll cut yo bitch ass

Ms Seed. Please calm down. 3 deep breaths....good. Now, did you swallow the medication Nurse Ratched gave you earlier?

Alabama doesnt take kindly to coloreds

Haha. Most definitely.

After moving from Alabama to another side of the country, I can confirm there is some truth to this depending on where you go.

Anywhere in the middle of the state is fucked. Especially the Black Belt region.

A large portion of my extended family lives in Citronelle (way south of where you lived, down near Mobile). Some of them look like they just got done filming an episode of COPS. Using drugs (ie. meth) and abusing alcohol for your entire adult life while being white trash makes for some interesting aesthetics.

​

I did manage to see some fucked up stuff in Citronelle. Once when I was young (8-10 or so), we went down a creepy dirt road in the woods so I could empty my bladder onto a tree. When I got out of the car, I noticed a ditch on the side of the road was filled with dead dogs. 15-20 of them, various breeds, looked like they had been dumped within the past few days. Creeped me out for a while.

​

On another occasion, I was in my late teens and hanging out with my uncle and cousin. They have a cabin on a small lake/large pond, and some of the nearby road noise carried across the water. We heard a dog barking for a while, then some loud engine noise, then a gunshot, then a whimper, then a speeding vehicle. We were pretty sure some rednecks shot that dog so it would shut up.

hanging out with my uncle and cousin

Same person?

alabama really lives up to the godless white trash reputation.

Roll Tide y'all

[deleted]

I was going to say I respect that she doesn't use that stupid Vaseline filter that all these old broads use, but she's probably too old to know what a filter is.

Do amish chicks fuck?

They do on Rumspringa.

He's just gotta have a beer or reference beer in every fucking photo, doesn't he?

If I were married to an old broad I would wanna drink beer constantly too

She looks like she's been finishing a keg a day since she was sixteen.

Thats a rough ass 47 in this day and age

Especially when the husband makes as much as I presume this hack does

Can you imagine having to endure his fake laughing act everywhere you go for years on end without a break? We would all age worse probably, Kreischer is fucking AIDS.

He got the girl.

This is the same kind of girl Tucker Max is fucking these days. Unless you're either rich or insanely good looking in your 30's, the sluts get haggard quickly.

That’s not true, I have proof that he is still pulling tens. But, I was in the closet filming it, and then he found shit on his dick, and he started throwing up, and then the girl started throwing up, and then I started throwing up, and I fell out of the closet and I vomited all over the video tape. Damn shame. It’s the same tape where I caught a sci-fi author punching some Nazis at a convention.

Eh, for him? He deserves worse.

This guy should bring up that hilarious Machine story. I haven't heard that enough times.

That’s his mother, right?

hes cheating on her, its not even a question

Age

Yeah: Bert's wife is 1+ years older than him and Tom Segura's wife is 3 years older than Tom.
It's kind of "meh", but, hey, what do I care?!
At least their life partner isn't a male prostitute who wears a female wig and sports a big cock.

I can't believe Segura just turned 40. I thought he was 40 in 2013.

She's the 80yo mother who takes care of his son like his still 8.

They need each other by this point.

I work with a guy who is a lot like Brother Joe, and of course last week he brings up THE MACHINE and says he wants him to come to town because he;s hilarious. Always bragging about BEER!

I'm a total faggot and watched this cooking show this clown does on Burr's network. Episode had his wife and some country music person that she loves as guests. She was totally flirting with the country faggot and Kreischer just sat there like a fucking cuck laughing it up at every single thing that came out of his own mouth. I hate this laugh at everything to sell the fake atmosphere of funny fuck.

Anyone who has seen more than 5 minutes straight of this hack's standup/podcast/anything deserves to hate themselves.

What a fat immature embarrassment he is.

Leann could get it.

Whenever he talks about his wife he subconsciously has to say how hot she is. He goes to strip clubs in every city he visits, btw.