Possibly the only book gayer than anything written by a certain marshmallow-bodied sci-fi fatso

44  2019-05-13 by RoadSodaz4Lyfe

22 comments

Imagine calling yourself a man-child, being proud of it, and putting it on a fucking book cover.

What a waste.

Carl Ruiz is probably jealous as fuck.

why did they erase the dick he was holding in editing

What a jew asshole

He's German and Irish

Jew and Irish?

Infuriating cuckold

The soyface meme is actually 100% real.

It really is.

I know a guy who’s a literal cuck, like curates men to fuck his wife while he plays video games and plays with legos and models and shit.

Soyface in literally every single photo I’ve ever seen of the faggot.

Why did he add "The Machine"? Is that part of the title? Or is it because he can't help bringing it up whenever possible, even on his own book cover. It makes zero sense for it to be there.

People dont get it.

If he calls himself "The Machine" then at least a couple of the dozen people in the crowd will yell "The Machine" when he gets on stage. When they do that, he pretends that they are talking about his stage-bit about the time he robbed a train in Russia....then he gets to spend 20 minutes out of an hour spot telling "The Machine" story to his fans and killing time with old (OLD) material.

The man's a genius....he even has Joe Rogan telling his millions of listeners that Bert is like Dice (and few others) who HAVE TO repeat bits to please their fans.

Why is he drinking "The Machine" out of a glass though? The cover is almost as confusing as Ant's.

But your theory is sound, and you're probably right.

"So, for 6 years I partied through college (FSU on my daddy's dime)...then I met Joe Rogan and I never had to work that hard ever again"

Also giving Anthony a run for Brother Joe's money for worst book cover.

Wondering how many teeth I could knock out in one punch.

Not enough.

How many sharpies should he bring to the book signing, would you say 17?

I almost didn't recognize the fat soymouthed hack with his shirt on.

Who read this?

Nobody...not even Bert. Supposedly, the audiobook is Bert reading the book....so I would say that at least one person (Bert) listened to/laughed at the audiobook.

All true stories

Same demographic who bought that idiotic Tucker Max book.