Patrick is training hard for his 5ks

11  2019-05-07 by liberterrorism

7 comments

Fatrick tells us he runs 5Ks but never mentions his time.

Someone posted his half marathon time yesterday. It was a pathetic 2:39 which is basically a brisk walk.

Fun fact: Oprah Winfrey ran a FULL marathon at age 40 in 4:29.

Had Patrick been running a full marathon he was on track to get beaten by Oprah by 2 hours.

Patrick is even sadder than this guy because he has to lie about doing 5ks. I'm sure he walked one corporate 5k while he was doing insurance or whatever and now he acts like he's Mr Fitness while somehow maintaining the body of someone who sits at the bar eating brats and drinking beer all day

That glow.

The chafing thigh sound could be heard for miles.

Maybe he should start with a sensible diet before destroying his knees.

His scent was intoxicating