My wife wants a divorce

4  2019-05-07 by Dr-ButtertitsMcGilly

Do I

A. Inject silicone into my cock head until it's beer can thick and hope that keeps her around

B. Barricade her in the soundproof panic room i built in the basement and play Metallica's "Some Kind of Monster" on full volume until she signs a legal document agreeing she'll halt the divorce proceedings

C. Kill a dog (just because)

D. Go see Rich Vos at the Chuckle Hut in Morris Plains NJ

25 comments

1  PsychopathyRed 2019-05-07

I'd go with the Metallica option, but it's the documentary Some Kind of Monster. Lars' dad was fucking sweet in that movie.

1  Dr-ButtertitsMcGilly 2019-05-07

I stopped listening after Reload

1  PsychopathyRed 2019-05-07

You gotta give St. Anger a shot. It was touted as being a timely sell-out piece of shit in its time, but it's aged in such a way that it sticks out like dog's balls and is kind of an accidental genius.

1  Dr-ButtertitsMcGilly 2019-05-07

Load was touted as a timely sell out too since it came out at the height of grunge musics popularity, but I still enjoyed it. I'll check st anger out I've really only heard one song on it

1  evil-nick 2019-05-07

if you like load/reload at all you prob STILL wont like st anger lol

1  PsychopathyRed 2019-05-07

The beauty of it is that it's a band willing to try something else in an earnest way, even if it's shit. And if it's shit, it'll be memorable. So, take that as you will.

1  Dr-ButtertitsMcGilly 2019-05-07

I admire and respect Metallica, even that Shekel-snatching Jew Lars. I hopped off the Metallica train and started listening to some different music genres because I felt like after And Justice For All came out every single album they put out afterwards seemed to get progressively worse. I remember my friend bought St. Anger and was playing the title track and it was almost unrecognizable to me as a Metallica song

1  PsychopathyRed 2019-05-07

But that's why Metallica is fucking perfect. They transcended the "gotta stick to the craft, bruh!" bullshit, but at the same time didn't pander to the audiences. Accident or not, Lars suing Napster proved they didn't give a shit about their audience, which no artist should do in reality.

With hindsight and the fact that all of their material is freely available on Youtube AND they're rich enough that they legitimately own all their material, they've actually been cool as shit. The opposite is Rammstein where listening to their shit on Youtube is nearly impossible, even though I downloaded all their shit on Kazaa over a decade ago.

1  Dr-ButtertitsMcGilly 2019-05-07

I agree with you in theory. But I really would like one more Metallica album in the thrash/heavy metal vein before all of them are in wheelchairs and wearing colostomy bags on stage. I miss the vicious aural assault of songs like Harvester of Sorrow and Battery.. old school Metallica is just 100% pure distilled masculine rage and adrenaline

1  evil-nick 2019-05-07

load and re load were awesome and under rated.

King nothing is an amazing tune

1  PsychopathyRed 2019-05-07

Metallica has so many critics. Divorce their name from any album they've done, and it's "pretty good" at worst.

1  evil-nick 2019-05-07

this is also true.

1  JohnDough911 2019-05-07

Fuck you

1  evil-nick 2019-05-07

you couldn't afford me

1  Subeckk 2019-05-07

Divorce her and get a dog. A dog will actually love you, unlike your whore wife.

1  4stepsbackward 2019-05-07

E. Force her to listen to Jim and Sam.

1  Subeckk 2019-05-07

A fate worse than death

1  betterchef1127 2019-05-07

beer can dick her ass

1  iWhoreSchortSchorts 2019-05-07

You should buy her a dog then kill yourself.

1  evil-nick 2019-05-07

Buy her a doberman that kills on command, the command being "that asshole limp dick husband of mine"........ No court will convict you, just dont get attached to the dog.

1  Canadia86 2019-05-07

Dobermans suck anyway, go for it

1  evil-nick 2019-05-07

I say start with A, then move on to E "divorce her first out of principal and find yourself a girl a lot younger and hotter than her to jam that thick numbed hog into"

1  daveyistheman 2019-05-07

I would choose option A. Injecting silicone into your cock head actually feels really good afterward. AND if it isn't enough to keep her around, girls from all over will want to ride that monster.

1  JohnDough911 2019-05-07

You gotta Quan that bitch.

1  ElFaporino 2019-05-07

Well certainly not D.