Show asshole

I'd probably flick a nickle off my ankle for about 5 mins and then blow my brains out.

Flick a bullet off your ankle through your caveman skull you mean

I'd probably have an anxiety attack. Not because I was sam roberts, but because I was suddenly another human being. It would freak me the fuck out and I wouldn't know what true reality is anymore. My brain would snap and I'd probably spend the rest of my days in a mental institution.

Way to adapt and overcome, stupid.

Oooohh literal Mrstealyourvape

Suicide.

Sam's in some sort of wwe performance place where they train wrestlers and commentators up. I'd sabotage his dreams of a wwe career by pointing out how infantile and gay it all is

Then they’d just hold up a mirror

I'd cut the tongue out of his (now my) sneaker collection- Then go on a Michael Richards inspired rant on the XM show and then do something illegal like strangle Jim Norton to death in studio and live. Hopefully go to jail and then wake up as myself in the morning.

I like this except somehow paralyzing the worm so he could never feel sexual gratification ever again would be my preference over the sweet release of death.

Wouldn't it be funny you wake up as killer Kuhn the next morning

Well- I guess I'd rather still be Sam than. Murdering an untalented hack is more noble in prison than murdering your young son. I'd shave my head and get gay face tatoos.

Sam would be extorted in prison. No amount of tough guy image could save him

He looks so diseased though, plus with his Homo Erectus skull he could maybe just survive as a cell bitch.

He's a nigger. A nigger. Look, theres a nigger.

I would immediately wake up and, having realized my situashe, begin dojng belts of bourbon before work.

Stroll into XM with s few Natty Ice’s stashed in my backpack and a couple of Sausage, Egg and Cheese McMuffins just to fucking trigger Norton. Crack open a beer, begin mocking his blinking and totally genuine attempts to try and get me to go to a meeting. I’d also do some shout outs to this sub, even though we don’t listen, by bashing SAMCRO Joe and calling Jim a Worm. Counting his blinks on air would be fun.

Then I’d smash his egg whites and spill his coffee, go grab some shitty diner food, and give Jess a semi-erect rodgering before passing out.

Has to go easy on it tho bet his shit Gene will make you black out too soon

If he’s never drank think of how low his tolerance is. If you did two shots you’d projectile vomit blood.

I would like to get Jess pregnant. Also, If I could be Sam for like 12 months before switching back to my body, I'd eat a 10,000 calorie per day diet and balloon up to 395lbs. It would also be funny to turn into Fez on the show and literally say no more than 25 words per day, forcing the worm to pick up my slack and slowly drive him crazy.

You'd hang yourself or quickly drink & drug yourself to death.

Transfer all your money to Scorch !

I'd pull a Brody Stevens

I'd fuck Jess a few times then transfer all my wealth and assets to my real name and hope swallowing a shotgun would somehow teleport me back to my original body.

With Jess being an asset, would you transfer her as well?

Also, what if God came down and told you that the only way to be teleported back to your original body was to suck Jimmy's dick and feed Nana?

Couldn't I just get Jimmy to put on one of his whacky chip wigs and feed Nana himself?

Sorry boss. No can do.

The very first thing I’d do is put all his toys in the microwave.

Please shave your head first!

If Sam got Norton to relapse, I’d put in a good word for the sub steering hate away from him.