I came in it before you drank it

Ah, the "Single Action Pale Ale."

A little bitter with a frothy head.

Plus that rich yellow/green color

Lil’ taste

Maybe it's the empty seats surrounding him on a Wednesday night, or the dark lighting he probably enjoys, or his fat bulging underneath his shirt, but I feel incredibly bad for him in this moment.

Haha nah, I'm kidding, what a dumb lonely wet plastic shopping bag of dicks and lips. I couldn't be happier.

My theory is that he wants a side piece so fucking bad that he just hangs out there all the time (usually without his wedding band, someone pointed out), waiting for some drunk twat to ask him what he's writing so he can impress her with tales of what a bigshot he is. So he just sits there, every night. Waiting. Praying to some fat space baby that he'll finally find a third woman with low enough self esteem to cram his flaccid middle-aged dick a full inch into her box. But that never happens. He just talks to old men and bartenders, and slinks home to the broad he settled for.

That's my theory, at least.

i knew a guy who hung out at bars watching football and writing and he turned out to be a serial rapist

Bishop says that she never would have had sex with Matt if she didn't think it was for the audition. She wasn't attracted to him. Bishop left Matt's apartment upset but didn't quite understand why. All she knew was that she felt violated. That same day, Bishop slit her wrists in a bathtub.

If he were attractive it wouldn't be rape. Nice chess piece name, stupid.

Almost as bad as Disciple or something

Pissed I never thought of doing this.

Bishop left Matt's apartment upset but didn't quite understand why. All she knew was that she felt violated.

Women are fucking stupid.

lol guys twitter profile says: "Not as bad as some, worse than others."

Hopeful whore. Lol.

dude is a hypocritical piece of shit but I fail to see why you should go to jail for what he did. No one forced you to have sex with him. Slut just wanted to make money fucking another stranger on camera. If someone lied about the job they had, properties they owned, connection etc. Could they also be taken to court for rape? If I hook up with a girl, we have sex and the sweat causes her make up to wash away and her face goes back to factory settings. Can I now sue this ugly bitch?

serious question asking for a friend.

I actually do kind of feel bad for him when I look at this. Maybe it’s because I’m only seeing the back of his head and not his punchable face. He looks like a regular guy, just trying to enjoy his Wednesday night while a strapping, young, non-white, third-string infielder from his beloved Brewers cuckolds him by tearing Niki’s vaginal walls down in a way that no wall has been decimated since Berlin in 1989. I have to remind myself this self-hating stack of tires is probably writing a blog post about how AOC is “yaaassss queen” and will tear down the patriarchy one day to revive my hatred.

That sums it up really well, actually. The things about him that are ordinary and relatable and can be made fun of, but they aren’t really hateable, and they certainly aren’t the reasons why people here are fascinated with him. It’s the other stuff. It’s the finger-pointing and the preaching and the lying and the hypocrisy and the illogical arguments that he thinks are mic-droppers. He still recycles the same talking points that have been proven false, because he still thinks they matter, because the TV tells him so. Which, in itself, is fine, but he just flat out hates anyone that thinks differently. It’s weird and disturbing and delusional.

He is significantly fatter than I thought he was.

Dude's got some womanly hips.

Birthing hips.

Hips that don't lie.

Dat milkshake tho

He’s not fat, philistine

Hip-popotamus

All six of them.

Was she roooooomy in the hips?

He really is there every night, isn't he

He ran the first 5k of the season, child. He is reaping the rewards of hard physical work, child. And that 5k really actually happened and he's not lying, child. Guess what that was all a fucking lie.

Did he drive his faggy bike to the bar?

No, he took his rascal, child.

But enough about his child sex slave

Had all those Harley riders fuming.

Of course, he can't risk another DUI

You just gonna look at him all night or you gonna pretend to be a fan and talk to him?

Just watch out for the look of sheer panic on his face when he checks the sub.

He's going to be on his knees sucking the owner for the surveillance video

I guess this answers my question.

For our entertainment

"Oh my God...are you...Patrick S. Tomlinson?! From TV??? Holy shit can I take your picture?" Then take his picture and run. Run. Then you own the copyrights and we can post it whenever we want.

"Nice try, dear, I don't have fans."

I don't fall for gamboozles, little one

Go back in 3 days and say “May the fourth be with you.” He’ll embrace you with open arms.

"hey bro I'm a big fan of your posts on r / politics. Guess those fascists don't appreciate your big contributions to that place"

You'll be blown before the jacuzzi.

tell him to stop feeding the fucking trolls for one. or just alpha him in general, pull up a chair. call him sport.

"Hey, chief, how's Adrienne?"

He looks fat.

Does anyone talk to him, or does he really just sit there by himself like a loser

I don't think I've ever gone to a bar without friends, and I'm antisocial as fuck. And I'm not a super-famous author and TV star. He really is the most pathetic sack of shit I've ever seen.

I've done it plenty, but it's generally just to try out a new place. Just crush a bunch of beers and dick around on my phone. I can't imagine annoying the bartender with inane bullshit they've heard ten billion times.

I go to bars by myself all the time. In fact, I’m at a bar by myself right now. Sometimes my friends come in to whatever bar I’m at and invite me to join them and I blow them off. Most of the time I’d rather be by myself than pretend I’m interested in whatever my friends are talking about.

That's weird. You're weird.

Lmao.

Random dates, yes, if by that you mean swiping away on Tinder.

Please don’t put down model train enthusiasts!

You have no idea what they’re capable of.

Someday, a great rain is going to wash all the scum off these streets.

Your brave acts shall not be forgotten. You ventured into the lion's den and lived to tell the tale.

Did he drunkenly yell anything along the lines of "to all my friends!" while buying rounds for the other barflies?

I think Fatrick would hate Bukowski. But secretly love him.

Nice innertube, stupid.

I'm not fat little one. I have a friend who's a photographer and he assured me that the camera always adds 100 pounds, child.

In a tire shape around the torso. What a mutant.

"Attention little ones, I'm about to begin my lecture on the Boötes Void. Come over here if you want to be educated, my sweet summer children."

May we have permission to incorporate this image in photoshops, sir?

I would laugh my ass off if the DMCA claim the did this sub in came from him

I would laugh my ass off if the DMCA claim the did this sub in came from him

I hope you're not under the age of 6, because if so, you were most certainly viciously raped

How do we know it's him? This could be any morbidly obese failed-author drinking himself to death because of repressed (or unrepressed) pedophilic urges.

Whoever this is, I believe 100% he would love if you placed him on his back.

Spread his legs and stuffed your fat cockhead inside his asshole.

Then do the right thing and let him Taste His Ass.

You're projecting, child

Thank you for your service. You should awarded a medal for your dedication to the bit. God bless

Not gonna lie, this seems pretty creepy.

Just don't kill him. As much as it would make sense to see this subreddit on the news because of a murder, I don't want to be on an actual FBI list.

if our child murderer didn't get us banned, hard to say what would

It’s so funny that this wouldn’t be the first murder committed by a member of this sub

I assumed it was negligent homicide or something but I just looked it up and it was third degree murder. Well, I guess I'm already on a list - good thing I already killed my son and got away with it.

I assumed it was negligent homicide or something but I just looked it up and it was third degree murder.

#FREEKUHN

You're my fucking hero. Thank you

It's very scary that you stalked him, found him, and were in striking distance of him.

Going to a bar is not stalking just because he's always there

Haha that won't hold up in court. Thankfully you won't be his lawyer under any circumstance. I'd rather have Michael J. Fox be my plastic surgeon.

Oh shit. That’s him? He looks as if he’s scrolling through his phone.

This photo might bite us in the ass, though. It’s funny, but it’s easy to spin as “stalking behavior”.

Take care of business, child.

Is this Hooligan's? And where is Niki?

I doubt there were any black men. She hangs out in one of those colored bars.

It’s a gentleman only bar, if you catch my drift.

Does Niki just forward her paycheck straight to Hooligan's to pay his bratwurst tab?

This picture will be used in court one day.

Damn straight, his legal team will present it as evidence that he's not actually a public figure, then we'll all be screwed.

This whole thing reminds me of the bar scene in Magnolia. If Patrick gets braces it’ll be perfect.

Were you really at Hooligan’s and is this actually him or did you just find a fatbody that looked enough like him that it’s funny? If it’s the former, we need to make sure he sees this.

I’m gonna have to stop in there for a drink one of these days after work

He's going to have so many stories about all of the trump supporting nazi's he's confronting.

It’s hard enough explaining this place to my girlfriend. I’m probably better off not bringing it up in casual conversation. I just want to see if he’s as annoying in person as his online presence would suggest.

I actually picture him being a very sad person, just one more failure away from hooking a hose up to the exhaust and falling asleep.

The bartender is probably sick of hearing about his stupid book that nobody buys but humors him because he tips ok and doesn't cause problems.

A guy like him is a pansy, sad, fat loser in public and reeks of desperation.

Even if we went away and he "wins". That will be the highlight of his sad life that is going nowhere.

You should tell him about Albert fish

I would but I don’t want to arouse him.

This is a great development.

Nice lap band brah

I’m so excited for him to see this and think “oh my God one of them was right behind me!

He’ll probably try to pin down exactly when this was and put himself back in that moment. And from now on he’ll be looking over his shoulder whenever he goes there.

He's begging the bartender for the receipts.

How smelly is he

I hope Niki’s safe to tonight once he stumbles home.

I dare you to sniff that stool after he leaves

Should have pulled up a stool, sat next to him and said "so, that Opie and Anthony reddit, hey" and then asked if he wanted to blow you in the men's room.

Would love to see some pics of his house and car. Just for the loffs

How can he say he’s not fat with those rolls?

He's built like a snowman. Lumps on lumps on lumps.

Granny does your dog bite?