I love all of you! There are more PMs from people that tell me I’m good for this sub than there are people that publicly post their disdain for me. You girls are hysterical with your dirty little secrets.
Misogynistic? huddla huddla!! You gossip like little girls do. Raising a daughter, I witness it all the time. The drama is palpable... Nothing wrong when little girls doing that, but fully (over)grown basement dwelling poor excuses for men (such as yourself) doing the same thing, it’s well.. you know, kinda blechhh...
its not like he was the one who actually tracked down the spaceedge info, he was used like a 6"1 and a half puppet that he is. Someone handed him the info over knowing he would be stupid enough to post it and get his account banned, and he did it.
Maybe he finally cracked the nut, though. The truth is that it's not funny if he's not angry. If Joe finally learned a life lesson from this subreddit, then we're doing our work. No... we're going GODS work. In a way, we are prophets (peace be upon us).
Upvoted. I think YOU are the only one in this thread that truly understands my new feelings about this sub.
BRAVO!!!
My true feeling about our tumultuous past relationship: “If you can’t beat em... etc.”
Whether you like it or want to kill yourselves, I’m now one of you. I may be the retarded little cousin that everyone fucks with (figuratively speaking) but I’m now feeling like one of you. Accept it, or be in denial. It’s a fact my brothers!
You’re not going to reverse psychology us into abandoning the sub, or forgetting your brother’s pedophilia, or your faggotry, or your dead whore mother. Now, go get your fucking shine box.
No desire to accomplish any of the above brother!! Mine is direct interaction with people who simply don’t possess the power to piss me off anymore. Words here are as cheap as your Fathers taste in women. What happens on the sub, STAYS ON THE SUB. Your total reach and influence starts and stops right here...and truthfully, I have a bigger audience here than you do. Think about it. Am I making any of this up? Nope.
Oh, and I’ll never understand why anyone would use that stupid Billy Batts line. Things didn’t turn out so well for him. Bad mojo, dummy.
Joe is getting way to comfortable here. I think we need to start reminding him en masse that Anthony is a child grooming ghoul who fucked a boy named Sue. That seems to be the one thing that really rustles his jimmies, because he knows it's true.
You don’t seem to understand, I AM comfortable here. You ever sit in a room and trade barbs with Jeff Ross? Didn’t think so. I tried. I had my ass handed to me live on the air in front of millions of listeners. my face physically flushed red out of embarrassment.
Honestly, What do you think a few amateur pedo, gay fat, and old jokes are going to do? You guys use the same shit over and over for everyone you lambast. It just got old. Ineffective. Even the Mom, daughter and GF stuff, it’s so obvious that you’re trying to get a rise out of me. It’s simply not going to happen.
When was the last time you saw me engage with anyone here in a pissed off fashion? You guys reeeeeeeeeeened it. That facet of fucking with Joe is over. Try to figure out a new game plan. Until then, I’ll play nice with my new friends!!
That must have been sooo embarrassing for millions of listeners to hear your face turn red! I'm not surprised you got owned by that hack Jack Ross, but I hope you commented on the intelligence of his truncal attire. At least the amateur civilians know their place among the professional infantry!
Just because you're not intelligent, wise, sharp, quick-witted, worldly, charming, erudite (I'll save you the google), mentally stimulating, physically tolerable, or innately entertaining in any sense of those words, doesn't mean you should be dissuaded from your dreams of tepid, risible fame!
I respect the SHIT out of your self-awareness and hustle that convinced you, despite all these readily evident shortcomings, to crowdfund a podcast to broadcast these^ talents to interview personal heroes like David Duke and The Fab Faux.
Buck up, Joe (the) Buck - some are creators and some are copiers. It's why you own a Flender guitar from a Facebook ad - you support fellow coattail riders, respect those whose parasitical life and identity are codependent on another, and enjoy the lower expectations set for apers. Actual musicians can leverage knowledge of music theory to improv complex harmonies on the fly. Others rely on the Ultimate Guitars Tab app on iPad with light up Guitar Hero fingering to poorly misplay Midnight Rider on looper, Digitech Looper, while chewing cud.
How many things can you possibly have wrong? Especially after being part of the inside for so long . Are you feigning being so misinformed in the hopes you won’t get Dox’d?
Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.
Let’s go one issue at a time:
JEFF Ross, not Jack... A hack? Watch a friars roast dummy. He’s a master at what he does. Neither here nor there... ok. David Duke... ahhh! That old gag!! Context means nothing with you ladies, does it?
I was going to skip addressing your second paragraph altogether. Your lack of information and overt anger only makes you sound desperate to lambaste me. Do you actually think my priorities in life include becoming “famous”? Holy shit are you clueless. I’m a guitarist that plays a guitar for money. FINALLY. After many years of chasing the pipe dream (prior to having a family to support) I “CREATED MY OWN MUSIC MMMMAAAAAAAAAANNNNN!”
Creativity is awesome, but if you allow it to become your selfish obsession at the cost of your families security and happiness, YOU’RE ONLY BEING A DICK. A creative DICK, but a dick nonetheless. Therein lies your assholic hypocrisy. I’m not writing music and trying to sell my own, so I’m a “coattail rider”, but if I was only playing original music I wouldn’t be doing the right thing with my family, so I’d be the horrible Dad and Father that you dummies claim I am.
So- which is it?
I play cover music to pay the bills, in order to keep my family happy, healthy and well provided for, or I play original music in the elusive search for fame and fortune and REALLY be a shitty human being (not by the subs standards (which will paint me that way forever... that’s “the bit”.) but by MY OWN STANDARDS, The particulars of which you have no clue about.
You sound to me like a “never-was-wanna-be”. You might play a little , but never quite figured out how to make any real $$ doing it. Unfortunate. I see it all too often. That’s called ego getting in the way. Once you actually learn anything about the entertainment industry, no matter how big or small your business may be, you begin to understand that making money is the #1 priority. Write, record, produce and shop your creations all you want. The bigger question is: Do you want to do that in your spare time while you’re not making sandwiches at Panera bread? or would you rather be playing cover tunes to support the people you’re responsible for? (or, in your case, probably just yourself. You sound like someone who has nobody in his life. Very bitter. I can just tell) My choice was remaining a HVAC mechanic, or becoming a full time guitarist. I chose the latter. You’re trying to fault me for that? No one’s buying into your reasoning, or logic..more accurately, your lack of logic.
Your last paragraph... Wow. All I have for you is this:
Your transparent attempt at getting me to engage in a hostile way was a total failure. There is NOTHING this sub can do to ruffle my feathers anymore. If you’re who I’m pretty sure you are, I understand your embarrassment and shame. So shameful were your actions at Anthony’s that you’ve decided to divorce yourself from everyone there. I don’t blame you. What you did was reprehensible and selfish. Then you lied about it and it took your “friend” who came over with you to get you to confess. You’re a thief, liar, sore loser at poker and you always wanted to bang my GF. She was physically appalled by you and she politely told you to fuck off on more than one occasion. You’re a sloppy drunk that sucks at darts and needs to feel famous around Dec. 25. How’s the beard going?
I’ll stop in for a beer later today. Just to see if anyone from this shit-hole actually has the balls to show up. 5 years and no takers. Text my ph # (you already know it) when you’re on your way. I’ll be there in 5 after I get your text. Right up the road.
I say, you should say something else. That topic is old and boring.
Here’s an interesting possibility.
Would you be more inclined to buy a laptop for a 14yr old girl, or a 40 year old man?
Could it be that the 40yr old self-admitted manically depressed junkie only wanted a laptop and knew he’d stand a better chance of getting one if he pretended to be someone else?
Innocent until proven guilty. Or are you a Godless communist?
Ok. New topic. Anthony was liking the Vine videos of some 14 year old girl until the fucking dumbass realized that everyone else could see his likes. Whatta ya say?
Well I read the whole thing if only to see what "Father of the Year" was hunt-and-peck screeching instead of spending time with his family.
Rampant spelling errors, innumerable grammatical errors, and Escherian logic loops aside, your last paragraph legitimately made me laugh. If you did this without a fifth of Jameson in your abomasum, you might have made a compelling argument. Alas, the terrors that haram substances hath wrought on House Al-Qawmiyya.
Aside from being completely and utterly dead wrong about nearly every aspect of who I am (I do kinda suck at darts, and I definitely robbed Anthony's house), there is not a person alive who has ever wanted to bang your girlfriend, Colleen Flaherty. This isn't me mocking your middle name, rather the uncanny resemblance your wrinkled bag of melanoma bears to Dr. Colin Flaherty, Ph.uckingD.ummy in black crime stats from University of Stormfront.
"Jack Ross"
1) Linger longer. Why do we call Lil'Jimmy "Tim Horton, Jon Norgon, etc."? The name isn't important when you're a one-trick pony whose schtick is low hanging fruit (not offense to your friends at Big Apple Ranch).
"Overt anger"
2) Of all things your hot dog fingers punched into your laptop, this one made me go, 'are you an idiot or just fucking retarded?" Any remedial Year 3 Literature student would interpret the tone as "jovially sarcastic" and its intended audience, "motherfucked"
"Do you actually think my priorities in life include becoming “famous”?
3) Unequivocal "yes," from me and everyone who knows/of you - and to assert otherwise is folly. This is why you insist that it was you who introduced A to O, you who wrote that shoehorned parody replete with blackface, you who cashes those "finder's fees" cheques every month, whose entire entire identity is defined as the Brother of someone who used be relatively famous, whose livelihood is playing popular, famous music. You claim you don't want fame but admit you play only famous music because it pays the best, meaning it's what crowds want, meaning you will attain greater notoriety in front of these 'larger' crowds, which is literally the definition of fame. If you didn't care about fame, you'd be writing and performing your own music. But no one wants to hear your life experiences in "50 Ways to Peel Your Tuber" with your go-to stolen minor pentatonic riffs for greenhorns (this is a "potato peeler" and "you suck at guitar" joke, Captain Osmium).
I’m a guitarist that plays a guitar for money.
4) Guitarist who plays.. I know it's expecting a lot from "Education: US Army" to understand nouns and relative pronouns, but people are a "who" and things/places are a "what." Trust Fund buskers in Union Square play guitar for money, that doesn't make them professional musicians. It means their primary income comes from a monthly allotted allowance from their executor - just like you! Panhandling is a hobby to pass the time and since they aren't fat-tittied tanktop wearing Boomers, it's an effective way to attract females.
FINALLY. After many years of chasing the pipe dream (prior to having a family to support) I “CREATED MY OWN MUSIC MMMMAAAAAAAAAANNNNN!”
5) I'm assuming by this you meant after years chasing the pipe dream of creating your own music, you started playing covers? Unless you're declaring that your "pipe dream" was as a copper wiring/construction equipment thief and/or cocaine dealer and when you gave up on that you created your own music. Either way, we've heard Rotgut and the reviews speak for themselves: "a blatant Red Hot Chili Peppers meets White Lion ripoff".
Therein lies your assholic hypocrisy. I’m not writing music and trying to sell my own, so I’m a “coattail rider”, but if I was only playing original music I wouldn’t be doing the right thing with my family, so I’d be the horrible Dad and Father that you dummies claim I am.
So- which is it?
I play cover music to pay the bills, in order to keep my family happy, healthy and well provided for, or I play original music in the elusive search for fame and fortune and REALLY be a shitty human being (not by the subs standards (which will paint me that way forever... that’s “the bit”.) but by MY OWN STANDARDS, The particulars of which you have no clue about.
5) Fuck me, Joe the Buck. I could write an entire post about these sentences. First, I don't know why I expected you to know the subjunctive. Second, that's not what "hypocrisy" means. Third, I know plenty of original musicians who have a day job AND make good money off it. Fourth, looking at your redacted gig calendar, you average 18 hours of "work" a month (mostly because Jan 2019 is an outlier). You plan on working a whopping TWELVE hours in May. That's literally one day at a real, challenging job vs. playing a shittierdick version of shitdick Phil Collins songs.
If you could book venues larger than "background music at dive bar" or "tailgate at amateur sports event", you might subsist on your own. Hell, my friend made over $3k playing originals at Bowery Electric, which is a very small venue. Do the math, $50,000 allowance/52 = $960/week (because we know you're not reporting it to the IRS). $3,000/4 = $750/week. True, it's not as lucrative as familial welfare but imagine if you were able to book TWO of these shows a month? That would be a whopping 1,5000 a week! Think of all the barbed wire nylon button ups and orthopedic white sneakers you could buy!
You aim to paint yourself as some folk hero but anyone who has ever encountered you knows exactly who you are as your are the embodiment of Long Island Guinea trash.
"I grew up on the mean streets of some faggot working white town on Long Island, the son of a cocktail waitress who ran side tricks and a gay cowboy who was the inspiration for Brokeback. So few were the opportunities for a WAR VETERAN living during LIBTARD DUMBSHIT PEANUT CUCK JIMMY CARTER'S SHITTY ECONOMY especially one marooned 5,820 seconds from the heart of American capitalism and one of the largest employment cities in the world. Alas, I could not make it there and by extension, could not make it anywhere. There were no opportunities for gainful employment, let alone education although the GI Bill makes higher education literally free for people who have actually served. Despite working in manual labor, I DISDAIN unions who provide better conditions and pay for those downtrodden and refused to join a shop like a responsible adult on PRINCIPLE because they wouldn't let me steal their copper wiring and equipment to pawn!! I couldn't cut it on the trading floor although they're full of marginally retarded community college grads with that blue collar grit. No sireee, not for me. I had one choice and one choice only (and although I'm providing two choices here, please ignore that I'm referring to them as a single entity:
My choice was remaining a HVAC mechanic, or becoming a full time guitarist (and cash cheques from my little brother because even at my 'dream job' I can't book enough hours to provide for a family). "
Good eye!!! On my way home from a gig in VA. Dropping off a band mate. 10.5 hour drive home and I took the time out to self deprecate with a Big Apple reference. Nice right?
Seriously? I never asked him. That’s why I did my own.
I’m a guitarist/musician and I’m good at it. . Asking him for a show would be akin to Ant asking to play bass in one of my bands. He can pluck a few notes, but overall he stinks on stringed instruments.
I’m a decent writer for a show, much like Ant is a decent singer for a band, but we both know our limitations re: our respective talents and respect those boundaries. That’s the truth.
You asked, I answered. I don’t care either way if you believe/agree with me, or not. Facts remain, I get paid well to play guitar/sing...and you read every post and comment I write here along with hundreds of other subscribers. If not for the entertainment value, then why?
Those are facts. What is your reasoning behind my supposed delusions? Honest question.An intelligent retort please... “Fuck you faggot” will do nothing to bolster your opinions.
Sure I answered. You asked what he said when I asked him about having a show on his network, and I told you that I never asked him for a show. Did you honestly not understand that? Sad.
You want to frustrate me, but you won’t. As of late, I’m the kinder, gentler Joe. Peace (and better reading comprehension) be with you sir!
Why do you believe that? I’d really like to see if it’s just a sub word-of-mouth thing. I don’t think my posts sound as though I’m illiterate or possess a weak vocabulary. Anyone I know in the real world considers me fairly intelligent. Maybe all of the people here are just so highly evolved intellectually that I seem ignorant and clueless by comparison. Is that a Possibility?
Voice to text. Am I supposed to correct every typo? What am I writing a thesis? Half of the people here are legitimately illiterate. You’re one of the smarter ones who actually knows the word That in the middle of a sentence is not supposed to be capitalized.
The contrast between how you speak online and how you speak in real life speaks for itself. You obviously use thesaurus.com to appear coherent, because any and all coherence goes out the window when you speak in real life. We've all seen you on People's Court, we all saw you outside the bookstore. Your atrophied brain can barely string sentences together, you doddering old fuck.
Or maybe everyone you know in the real world are as bovine brained as yourself. You just haven't been informed about your profound lack of intellect enough or you blissfully ignore all the signs.
What makes me smile is that he is actually from New York, and the first thing he thinks of when he sees the phrase Big Apple is the fact that there is an enormous internet community that constantly calls him a gay man for patronizing a homosexual bar called Big Apple Ranch.
What makes me smile, Mr. ThatNiggaDre, is making you nice folks smile! I am growing to love this place. What’s a li’l friendly ribbin’?? It’s becoming an unconditional love-fest! Bless you all!
Cmon, I’ll never be forgotten. You know that. I don’t need any special attention here, just a platform to speak with my new pals! Patrick is the subs cheap side-whore. A cumare, I’m a wife. This sub is married to me. I am marrying material.
Is this like Rick Grimes asking someone how many people they killed? Some kind of qualifier question?
I’d probably just do the same thing I’m doing now. Try to let the u/ here see who I am. Who I ., not some perceived notion of me that’s been created here for the sake of the bit. I guess I’d look people in the eye too. Something about lack of human interaction that makes it easy for this place to dehumanize anyone. It’s not so easy to do face to face.
140 comments
1 ants_ccw_permit 2019-04-28
Pandering old faggot piece of shit
1 OpieCakeStomp 2019-04-28
But but but.. I’m just like you!!
1 ants_ccw_permit 2019-04-28
Say nigger again.
1 OpieCakeStomp 2019-04-28
“Go ahead and Say NIGGAR one mo’ time!! I dare ya!! I double dare ya!!!!”
N-I-G-G-A-R, The NIGGAR Family! LOL’s!!!!
There.... like that? So so so so so so...Did I do it right?
1 ants_ccw_permit 2019-04-28
Yeah you fat fuck now stop being an anonymous coward and say it to a black man's face. Go ahead
1 PatIsAFatHack 2019-04-28
shut up and go feed your kids dummy
1 ants_ccw_permit 2019-04-28
I made them mothafuckin red snapper and it's good as fuck. Want some?
1 PatIsAFatHack 2019-04-28
red snapper is a trash fish maan
1 MrBigDickAssLicker 2019-04-28
You can buy that with food stamps? Sheeeeeeeit nigger u movin on up
1 FartsMcFlugalugus 2019-04-28
You really are a dumb cunt.
1 ants_ccw_permit 2019-04-28
50 degrees in port Jefferson today. Sleeveless shirt weather.
1 xterraroc 2019-04-28
1 ElFaporino 2019-04-28
on Long Island it's an Alpha move to be the first guinea to go sleeveless in the spring
1 scott__the__dick 2019-04-28
Time for all the 6'1" guys to show who's boss
1 ElFaporino 2019-04-28
being 60+ pounds overweight, he doesn't feel the cold like other people
1 BobbyDrakeOmegaLVL 2019-04-28
It's been raining all day tho 🤷♂️
1 ants_ccw_permit 2019-04-28
Imagine the visible deod balls 🤢
1 GrandTefftAuto 2019-04-28
We wouldn’t even see them if he was white.
1 [deleted] 2019-04-28
[removed]
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1 insertclevereference 2019-04-28
(516) that’s Nassau County sir.
He was probably stopping by his brother’s house to pick up his monthly check.
1 OpieCakeStomp 2019-04-28
You’re correct sir. As he said, “Always thinking about his constituents”.
1 OutlawMemer 2019-04-28
That's how I know you're lying.
1 OpieCakeStomp 2019-04-28
Nice!! 12 points for cleverness.
1 --DC-- 2019-04-28
I heard you allegedly partook in some sort spit fetish. Can you tell what race the spit came from?
1 Mr-Wrinkle-Paws 2019-04-28
It's local gay bar, garage door is new name for faggot's assholes
1 ants_ccw_permit 2019-04-28
See, that's what I thought but then I was like mebbe I'm just rly hungover lol. Thanks for confirming
1 ElFaporino 2019-04-28
like joe's 'doors', you could drive a tractor into it
1 RotheHo 2019-04-28
What a fucking needy faggot
1 OutlawMemer 2019-04-28
Lazy and dumb, too.
1 Layla_Benet_Ramsey 2019-04-28
He’s definitely upset fatrick is our muse now.
1 DigitalTorque 2019-04-28
more like the Big Apple Back Door.
because he gets his ass pounded, you see.
1 Single_Action_Army 2019-04-28
The "garage doors" are his asscheeks, and everyone's got a garage door opener... except Kelsey Cook because she left hers at the stoplight.
1 2004RumbleWinner 2019-04-28
If you were really thinking of us you would've taken a picture in front of "SAMCRO Joe's Child Spit Emporium".
1 OpieCakeStomp 2019-04-28
You must be pulling my leg sir, I don’t think one of those places actually exists...! Amirite?!?
1 thrillated 2019-04-28
Ugh, just shut up
1 Fatty_Pneumonia 2019-04-28
If he was thinking of us, he’d be hanging from his neck in a closet.
1 OpieCakeStomp 2019-04-28
I love all of you! There are more PMs from people that tell me I’m good for this sub than there are people that publicly post their disdain for me. You girls are hysterical with your dirty little secrets.
1 ants_ccw_permit 2019-04-28
You're raising a daughter and you use misogynistic insults. She's reminded that she's inferior everytime someone pisses you off. 👏 bravo
1 Officer_McGrady 2019-04-28
Well I mean women are inferior that’s just biology. Especially black broads like you.
1 ants_ccw_permit 2019-04-28
No we are not. Now open this jar of pickles for me please.
1 OpieCakeStomp 2019-04-28
Misogynistic? huddla huddla!! You gossip like little girls do. Raising a daughter, I witness it all the time. The drama is palpable... Nothing wrong when little girls doing that, but fully (over)grown basement dwelling poor excuses for men (such as yourself) doing the same thing, it’s well.. you know, kinda blechhh...
1 ants_ccw_permit 2019-04-28
You got me nailed. Ouch.
1 xterraroc 2019-04-28
Day drinking Joe?
1 varamyr6skin 2019-04-28
You can zoom in way to much on this picture.
The amount of blackheads Joe has on his nose is absolutely disgusting.
1 AntsCamera 2019-04-28
The fucker is taunting us now.
When we are done with Patty Cakes we will be back for you.
This fucker thinks our positive reaction of the doxxing (redacted) in the other sub, that he can be our friend.
Enemy of our enemy, and we only tolerate him because he says dumb shit we can make fun of for a week.
He is a lolcow, we are just milking him, we aint pals Samcro
1 brothamenarmy 2019-04-28
Believe it or not this dummy thought we were upset with the doxxing.
1 AntsCamera 2019-04-28
The doxxing came when we were already in full rebellion, we were all getting fucking banned anyways.
The doxxing was a beautiful thing but he should know what we are.
Joe trying to be cool with us is the Frog who gave the Scorpion a ride across the river.
1 Frequent2001 2019-04-28
its not like he was the one who actually tracked down the spaceedge info, he was used like a 6"1 and a half puppet that he is. Someone handed him the info over knowing he would be stupid enough to post it and get his account banned, and he did it.
1 AntsCamera 2019-04-28
6 foot 1? swoon
I bet he gets movie stars.
1 ElFaporino 2019-04-28
God Bless Ya Joe, You fucking idiot
1 Air_Rangoon 2019-04-28
Imagine living near this ghetto shit.
1 JohnTravoltasHair 2019-04-28
Maybe he finally cracked the nut, though. The truth is that it's not funny if he's not angry. If Joe finally learned a life lesson from this subreddit, then we're doing our work. No... we're going GODS work. In a way, we are prophets (peace be upon us).
1 OpieCakeStomp 2019-04-28
Upvoted. I think YOU are the only one in this thread that truly understands my new feelings about this sub. BRAVO!!!
My true feeling about our tumultuous past relationship: “If you can’t beat em... etc.”
Whether you like it or want to kill yourselves, I’m now one of you. I may be the retarded little cousin that everyone fucks with (figuratively speaking) but I’m now feeling like one of you. Accept it, or be in denial. It’s a fact my brothers!
1 Fatty_Pneumonia 2019-04-28
You’re not going to reverse psychology us into abandoning the sub, or forgetting your brother’s pedophilia, or your faggotry, or your dead whore mother. Now, go get your fucking shine box.
1 OpieCakeStomp 2019-04-28
No desire to accomplish any of the above brother!! Mine is direct interaction with people who simply don’t possess the power to piss me off anymore. Words here are as cheap as your Fathers taste in women. What happens on the sub, STAYS ON THE SUB. Your total reach and influence starts and stops right here...and truthfully, I have a bigger audience here than you do. Think about it. Am I making any of this up? Nope.
Oh, and I’ll never understand why anyone would use that stupid Billy Batts line. Things didn’t turn out so well for him. Bad mojo, dummy.
1 Fatty_Pneumonia 2019-04-28
No effect on your life...
1 ILoveYouJohnnyCakes 2019-04-28
It should be illegal for that doughy slob to wear sleeveless shirts.
1 Officer_McGrady 2019-04-28
Hey Joe, how long until you’re done with the sub forever again?
1 JoeCumiaDotCom 2019-04-28
Joe is getting way to comfortable here. I think we need to start reminding him en masse that Anthony is a child grooming ghoul who fucked a boy named Sue. That seems to be the one thing that really rustles his jimmies, because he knows it's true.
1 OpieCakeStomp 2019-04-28
You don’t seem to understand, I AM comfortable here. You ever sit in a room and trade barbs with Jeff Ross? Didn’t think so. I tried. I had my ass handed to me live on the air in front of millions of listeners. my face physically flushed red out of embarrassment.
Honestly, What do you think a few amateur pedo, gay fat, and old jokes are going to do? You guys use the same shit over and over for everyone you lambast. It just got old. Ineffective. Even the Mom, daughter and GF stuff, it’s so obvious that you’re trying to get a rise out of me. It’s simply not going to happen.
When was the last time you saw me engage with anyone here in a pissed off fashion? You guys reeeeeeeeeeened it. That facet of fucking with Joe is over. Try to figure out a new game plan. Until then, I’ll play nice with my new friends!!
1 JoeCumiaDotCom 2019-04-28
Yeah but the Ant child grooming stuff really gets a rise out of your flabby tits.
1 RamonFrunkis 2019-04-28
That must have been sooo embarrassing for millions of listeners to hear your face turn red! I'm not surprised you got owned by that hack Jack Ross, but I hope you commented on the intelligence of his truncal attire. At least the amateur civilians know their place among the professional infantry!
Just because you're not intelligent, wise, sharp, quick-witted, worldly, charming, erudite (I'll save you the google), mentally stimulating, physically tolerable, or innately entertaining in any sense of those words, doesn't mean you should be dissuaded from your dreams of tepid, risible fame!
I respect the SHIT out of your self-awareness and hustle that convinced you, despite all these readily evident shortcomings, to crowdfund a podcast to broadcast these^ talents to interview personal heroes like David Duke and The Fab Faux.
Buck up, Joe (the) Buck - some are creators and some are copiers. It's why you own a Flender guitar from a Facebook ad - you support fellow coattail riders, respect those whose parasitical life and identity are codependent on another, and enjoy the lower expectations set for apers. Actual musicians can leverage knowledge of music theory to improv complex harmonies on the fly. Others rely on the Ultimate Guitars Tab app on iPad with light up Guitar Hero fingering to poorly misplay Midnight Rider on looper, Digitech Looper, while chewing cud.
1 OpieCakeStomp 2019-04-28
Cmon V.
Where do I start?
How many things can you possibly have wrong? Especially after being part of the inside for so long . Are you feigning being so misinformed in the hopes you won’t get Dox’d?
Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.
Let’s go one issue at a time:
JEFF Ross, not Jack... A hack? Watch a friars roast dummy. He’s a master at what he does. Neither here nor there... ok. David Duke... ahhh! That old gag!! Context means nothing with you ladies, does it?
I was going to skip addressing your second paragraph altogether. Your lack of information and overt anger only makes you sound desperate to lambaste me. Do you actually think my priorities in life include becoming “famous”? Holy shit are you clueless. I’m a guitarist that plays a guitar for money. FINALLY. After many years of chasing the pipe dream (prior to having a family to support) I “CREATED MY OWN MUSIC MMMMAAAAAAAAAANNNNN!”
Creativity is awesome, but if you allow it to become your selfish obsession at the cost of your families security and happiness, YOU’RE ONLY BEING A DICK. A creative DICK, but a dick nonetheless. Therein lies your assholic hypocrisy. I’m not writing music and trying to sell my own, so I’m a “coattail rider”, but if I was only playing original music I wouldn’t be doing the right thing with my family, so I’d be the horrible Dad and Father that you dummies claim I am.
So- which is it?
I play cover music to pay the bills, in order to keep my family happy, healthy and well provided for, or I play original music in the elusive search for fame and fortune and REALLY be a shitty human being (not by the subs standards (which will paint me that way forever... that’s “the bit”.) but by MY OWN STANDARDS, The particulars of which you have no clue about.
You sound to me like a “never-was-wanna-be”. You might play a little , but never quite figured out how to make any real $$ doing it. Unfortunate. I see it all too often. That’s called ego getting in the way. Once you actually learn anything about the entertainment industry, no matter how big or small your business may be, you begin to understand that making money is the #1 priority. Write, record, produce and shop your creations all you want. The bigger question is: Do you want to do that in your spare time while you’re not making sandwiches at Panera bread? or would you rather be playing cover tunes to support the people you’re responsible for? (or, in your case, probably just yourself. You sound like someone who has nobody in his life. Very bitter. I can just tell) My choice was remaining a HVAC mechanic, or becoming a full time guitarist. I chose the latter. You’re trying to fault me for that? No one’s buying into your reasoning, or logic..more accurately, your lack of logic.
Your last paragraph... Wow. All I have for you is this:
Your transparent attempt at getting me to engage in a hostile way was a total failure. There is NOTHING this sub can do to ruffle my feathers anymore. If you’re who I’m pretty sure you are, I understand your embarrassment and shame. So shameful were your actions at Anthony’s that you’ve decided to divorce yourself from everyone there. I don’t blame you. What you did was reprehensible and selfish. Then you lied about it and it took your “friend” who came over with you to get you to confess. You’re a thief, liar, sore loser at poker and you always wanted to bang my GF. She was physically appalled by you and she politely told you to fuck off on more than one occasion. You’re a sloppy drunk that sucks at darts and needs to feel famous around Dec. 25. How’s the beard going?
Yeah. I know who you are.
1 JoeCumiaDotCom 2019-04-28
Your band fucking sucks
1 OpieCakeStomp 2019-04-28
That’s a very unfair statement
1 _TheOpster 2019-04-28
Well, if it isn’t Guitarzan!!! Back in town yet?? Say boy, why don’t we meet up. I’m right around the corner
1 OpieCakeStomp 2019-04-28
Yes Lets do that son. I'll buy you a beer sport...whatta ya say champ?
1 _TheOpster 2019-04-28
Portside Bar and Grill? You name the time and date, (other than tonight)
1 OpieCakeStomp 2019-04-28
I’ll stop in for a beer later today. Just to see if anyone from this shit-hole actually has the balls to show up. 5 years and no takers. Text my ph # (you already know it) when you’re on your way. I’ll be there in 5 after I get your text. Right up the road.
1 lolercakesmcgee 2019-04-28
Speaking of shithole, nobody lives anywhere near you and they don’t want to meet you.
1 Its__Me__Your__Mom 2019-04-28
Now why would he give you, a known doxer, his phone number?
1 JoeCumiaDotCom 2019-04-28
Anthony bought a 40 year old man a laptop because he thought it was 14 year old girl....whatta ya say?
1 OpieCakeStomp 2019-04-28
I say, you should say something else. That topic is old and boring.
Here’s an interesting possibility.
Would you be more inclined to buy a laptop for a 14yr old girl, or a 40 year old man?
Could it be that the 40yr old self-admitted manically depressed junkie only wanted a laptop and knew he’d stand a better chance of getting one if he pretended to be someone else?
Innocent until proven guilty. Or are you a Godless communist?
1 JoeCumiaDotCom 2019-04-28
Ok. New topic. Anthony was liking the Vine videos of some 14 year old girl until the fucking dumbass realized that everyone else could see his likes. Whatta ya say?
1 of_lower_stock 2019-04-28
Do you have any idea what you just said?
1 TaxDawg 2019-04-28
Why would anyone be inclined to do either?
1 AdminsFuckedMeOver 2019-04-28
I wouldn't buy a fucking laptop for anyone, especially the underaged girl that I was grooming
1 AmberBeard 2019-04-28
The underaged girls that you're grooming deserve better, man.
1 AmberBeard 2019-04-28
No one is reading that, genius.
1 OpieCakeStomp 2019-04-28
You read the whole thing. I know you did. You know you did.
1 AmberBeard 2019-04-28
I didn't.
You wish I did.
I know you're a moron.
1 RamonFrunkis 2019-04-28
Well I read the whole thing if only to see what "Father of the Year" was hunt-and-peck screeching instead of spending time with his family.
Rampant spelling errors, innumerable grammatical errors, and Escherian logic loops aside, your last paragraph legitimately made me laugh. If you did this without a fifth of Jameson in your abomasum, you might have made a compelling argument. Alas, the terrors that haram substances hath wrought on House Al-Qawmiyya.
Aside from being completely and utterly dead wrong about nearly every aspect of who I am (I do kinda suck at darts, and I definitely robbed Anthony's house), there is not a person alive who has ever wanted to bang your girlfriend, Colleen Flaherty. This isn't me mocking your middle name, rather the uncanny resemblance your wrinkled bag of melanoma bears to Dr. Colin Flaherty, Ph.uckingD.ummy in black crime stats from University of Stormfront.
1) Linger longer. Why do we call Lil'Jimmy "Tim Horton, Jon Norgon, etc."? The name isn't important when you're a one-trick pony whose schtick is low hanging fruit (not offense to your friends at Big Apple Ranch).
2) Of all things your hot dog fingers punched into your laptop, this one made me go, 'are you an idiot or just fucking retarded?" Any remedial Year 3 Literature student would interpret the tone as "jovially sarcastic" and its intended audience, "motherfucked"
3) Unequivocal "yes," from me and everyone who knows/of you - and to assert otherwise is folly. This is why you insist that it was you who introduced A to O, you who wrote that shoehorned parody replete with blackface, you who cashes those "finder's fees" cheques every month, whose entire entire identity is defined as the Brother of someone who used be relatively famous, whose livelihood is playing popular, famous music. You claim you don't want fame but admit you play only famous music because it pays the best, meaning it's what crowds want, meaning you will attain greater notoriety in front of these 'larger' crowds, which is literally the definition of fame. If you didn't care about fame, you'd be writing and performing your own music. But no one wants to hear your life experiences in "50 Ways to Peel Your Tuber" with your go-to stolen minor pentatonic riffs for greenhorns (this is a "potato peeler" and "you suck at guitar" joke, Captain Osmium).
4) Guitarist who plays.. I know it's expecting a lot from "Education: US Army" to understand nouns and relative pronouns, but people are a "who" and things/places are a "what." Trust Fund buskers in Union Square play guitar for money, that doesn't make them professional musicians. It means their primary income comes from a monthly allotted allowance from their executor - just like you! Panhandling is a hobby to pass the time and since they aren't fat-tittied tanktop wearing Boomers, it's an effective way to attract females.
5) I'm assuming by this you meant after years chasing the pipe dream of creating your own music, you started playing covers? Unless you're declaring that your "pipe dream" was as a copper wiring/construction equipment thief and/or cocaine dealer and when you gave up on that you created your own music. Either way, we've heard Rotgut and the reviews speak for themselves: "a blatant Red Hot Chili Peppers meets White Lion ripoff".
5) Fuck me, Joe the Buck. I could write an entire post about these sentences. First, I don't know why I expected you to know the subjunctive. Second, that's not what "hypocrisy" means. Third, I know plenty of original musicians who have a day job AND make good money off it. Fourth, looking at your redacted gig calendar, you average 18 hours of "work" a month (mostly because Jan 2019 is an outlier). You plan on working a whopping TWELVE hours in May. That's literally one day at a real, challenging job vs. playing a shittierdick version of shitdick Phil Collins songs.
If you could book venues larger than "background music at dive bar" or "tailgate at amateur sports event", you might subsist on your own. Hell, my friend made over $3k playing originals at Bowery Electric, which is a very small venue. Do the math, $50,000 allowance/52 = $960/week (because we know you're not reporting it to the IRS). $3,000/4 = $750/week. True, it's not as lucrative as familial welfare but imagine if you were able to book TWO of these shows a month? That would be a whopping 1,5000 a week! Think of all the barbed wire nylon button ups and orthopedic white sneakers you could buy!
You aim to paint yourself as some folk hero but anyone who has ever encountered you knows exactly who you are as your are the embodiment of Long Island Guinea trash.
"I grew up on the mean streets of some faggot working white town on Long Island, the son of a cocktail waitress who ran side tricks and a gay cowboy who was the inspiration for Brokeback. So few were the opportunities for a WAR VETERAN living during LIBTARD DUMBSHIT PEANUT CUCK JIMMY CARTER'S SHITTY ECONOMY especially one marooned 5,820 seconds from the heart of American capitalism and one of the largest employment cities in the world. Alas, I could not make it there and by extension, could not make it anywhere. There were no opportunities for gainful employment, let alone education although the GI Bill makes higher education literally free for people who have actually served. Despite working in manual labor, I DISDAIN unions who provide better conditions and pay for those downtrodden and refused to join a shop like a responsible adult on PRINCIPLE because they wouldn't let me steal their copper wiring and equipment to pawn!! I couldn't cut it on the trading floor although they're full of marginally retarded community college grads with that blue collar grit. No sireee, not for me. I had one choice and one choice only (and although I'm providing two choices here, please ignore that I'm referring to them as a single entity:
Tepid, risible fame.
1 Wolosocu 2019-04-28
He's embracing the lovable idiot label. It suits him well.
1 varamyr6skin 2019-04-28
Sitcom dad wannabe faggot.
1 beigedocumentaryfan 2019-04-28
Is this a kelsey cook reference too
1 intrepidenterprise 2019-04-28
What is this moron doing in Franklin Square?
1 OpieCakeStomp 2019-04-28
Good eye!!! On my way home from a gig in VA. Dropping off a band mate. 10.5 hour drive home and I took the time out to self deprecate with a Big Apple reference. Nice right?
1 intrepidenterprise 2019-04-28
Dropped him off in your Fiat or the N6 bus? You're fucking standing on Hempstead Turnpike like the worlds ugliest whore.
1 alkiefuck 2019-04-28
pulling*
1 4stepsbackward 2019-04-28
How many dicks were sucked?
1 Sicogon 2019-04-28
At least the man is starting to learn how to laugh at himself
1 Doc_McCoyXYZ 2019-04-28
I guess I forgot to laugh
1 DownHerGullet 2019-04-28
Fucking retard.
1 flankspankrank 2019-04-28
Joe hates Patrick for stealing his limelight.
1 OpieCakeStomp 2019-04-28
Nah, I hate Patrick because he’s a dick.
1 PAT_B0T 2019-04-28
Shush child, let the grownups speak...
1 Every1ShouldBKilled 2019-04-28
I want to keep bashing him, only because I think he might’ve figured out that if he embraces the hate, it’ll stop.
1 Frequent2001 2019-04-28
haha what a big fucking dummy
1 varamyr6skin 2019-04-28
Hey Joe, what does Anthony tell you every time you've asked him for a show?
1 OpieCakeStomp 2019-04-28
Seriously? I never asked him. That’s why I did my own.
I’m a guitarist/musician and I’m good at it. . Asking him for a show would be akin to Ant asking to play bass in one of my bands. He can pluck a few notes, but overall he stinks on stringed instruments.
I’m a decent writer for a show, much like Ant is a decent singer for a band, but we both know our limitations re: our respective talents and respect those boundaries. That’s the truth.
1 varamyr6skin 2019-04-28
The limits of your delusion have no end.
You aren't even a good writer for this sub.
1 OpieCakeStomp 2019-04-28
You asked, I answered. I don’t care either way if you believe/agree with me, or not. Facts remain, I get paid well to play guitar/sing...and you read every post and comment I write here along with hundreds of other subscribers. If not for the entertainment value, then why?
Those are facts. What is your reasoning behind my supposed delusions? Honest question.An intelligent retort please... “Fuck you faggot” will do nothing to bolster your opinions.
1 varamyr6skin 2019-04-28
You never answered my question you dolt. You wrote half a dissertation about nothing.
1 OpieCakeStomp 2019-04-28
Sure I answered. You asked what he said when I asked him about having a show on his network, and I told you that I never asked him for a show. Did you honestly not understand that? Sad.
You want to frustrate me, but you won’t. As of late, I’m the kinder, gentler Joe. Peace (and better reading comprehension) be with you sir!
1 varamyr6skin 2019-04-28
You're such a boob.
1 OpieCakeStomp 2019-04-28
Why do you believe that? I’d really like to see if it’s just a sub word-of-mouth thing. I don’t think my posts sound as though I’m illiterate or possess a weak vocabulary. Anyone I know in the real world considers me fairly intelligent. Maybe all of the people here are just so highly evolved intellectually that I seem ignorant and clueless by comparison. Is that a Possibility?
1 padre- 2019-04-28
Nigga, does ant still have his guns and carry permit?
1 varamyr6skin 2019-04-28
Example: That should not be capitalized.
1 OpieCakeStomp 2019-04-28
Voice to text. Am I supposed to correct every typo? What am I writing a thesis? Half of the people here are legitimately illiterate. You’re one of the smarter ones who actually knows the word That in the middle of a sentence is not supposed to be capitalized.
1 varamyr6skin 2019-04-28
It was the auto-correct duuuude.
1 --DC-- 2019-04-28
You would know about capitalizing on something, wouldn't you?
You're a shittier sidekick than Andy Richter, and that isn't easy.
1 YangtzeRiverChina 2019-04-28
The contrast between how you speak online and how you speak in real life speaks for itself. You obviously use thesaurus.com to appear coherent, because any and all coherence goes out the window when you speak in real life. We've all seen you on People's Court, we all saw you outside the bookstore. Your atrophied brain can barely string sentences together, you doddering old fuck.
1 lawntoilet 2019-04-28
They do, it is patently obvious that you just use big words that you tenuously understand in an effort to make yourself seem very photosynthesis.
This isn't true and it's embarrassing that you would think so.
1 AmberBeard 2019-04-28
Or maybe everyone you know in the real world are as bovine brained as yourself. You just haven't been informed about your profound lack of intellect enough or you blissfully ignore all the signs.
1 padre- 2019-04-28
Does Anthony still have his guns? They had to have taken the carry permit but I’m wonder if he’s now a prohibited person since the DV charge
1 Christopher_Barton 2019-04-28
Bring back Guilty By Association but refrain from allowing that sickly slob Fred on it ever again.
1 YangtzeRiverChina 2019-04-28
Hey u/OpieCakeStomp, either fight u/56ColinQuinn who wants to fight you and is in New York or shove it up your ass
1 of_lower_stock 2019-04-28
Do it, you fat old pussy.
1 OpieCakeStomp 2019-04-28
Can we make it a PPV? I’ll take a punch for some $$.
1 Lasagna_Hat 2019-04-28
I doubt there is anything you won't do for money
You have been extorting your little brother over a 50 year old pinky-promise and abandoned your mother while her brain decayed.
As much as I would love to watch you get slapped around, it's all too reminiscent of BumFights. It's somehow more pathetic to think about
No thanks
1 GrandTefftAuto 2019-04-28
You mean you’ll let Anthony take a punch as long as he gives you your cut?
1 YangtzeRiverChina 2019-04-28
You're not worth money. Why don't you understand that we just want to see you get your stupid head caved in?
1 CoreyFeldog 2019-04-28
impostor
1 Ivan000 2019-04-28
Joe this sub has new people to make fun of.
You're not needed anymore
1 ThatNiggaDre 2019-04-28
What makes me smile is that he is actually from New York, and the first thing he thinks of when he sees the phrase Big Apple is the fact that there is an enormous internet community that constantly calls him a gay man for patronizing a homosexual bar called Big Apple Ranch.
1 OpieCakeStomp 2019-04-28
What makes me smile, Mr. ThatNiggaDre, is making you nice folks smile! I am growing to love this place. What’s a li’l friendly ribbin’?? It’s becoming an unconditional love-fest! Bless you all!
1 ThatNiggaDre 2019-04-28
Oh my god, are you the real Joe Cumia!? Cuh cuh cuh cuh cuh can I have your autograph??
1 OpieCakeStomp 2019-04-28
Sure...Who wud you like that made out to?
1 ichise8 2019-04-28
war hero joe with the zinger
keep rockin joe
1 OpieCakeStomp 2019-04-28
Not a war hero. Peeled spuds proudly and plentifully. I was a peacetime 31v1p. The p stood for potatoes.
1 ichise8 2019-04-28
modest joe being modest as usual
youre an inspiration to us all, war hero joe
1 babyboycomedysoldier 2019-04-28
"r-remember me guys? Big Apple Ranch, am I right? Please stop talking about Patrick and give me attention again"
1 OpieCakeStomp 2019-04-28
Cmon, I’ll never be forgotten. You know that. I don’t need any special attention here, just a platform to speak with my new pals! Patrick is the subs cheap side-whore. A cumare, I’m a wife. This sub is married to me. I am marrying material.
1 Anarox 2019-04-28
If this sub was a physical place you could go visit what would you do with it
1 OpieCakeStomp 2019-04-28
Is this like Rick Grimes asking someone how many people they killed? Some kind of qualifier question?
I’d probably just do the same thing I’m doing now. Try to let the u/ here see who I am. Who I ., not some perceived notion of me that’s been created here for the sake of the bit. I guess I’d look people in the eye too. Something about lack of human interaction that makes it easy for this place to dehumanize anyone. It’s not so easy to do face to face.
1 Phantas_Magorical 2019-04-28
You never answered my questions about Tony taking creepshots of underaged children
1 GrandTefftAuto 2019-04-28
You don’t work so you are kind of like a mob wife.
Also, nice cultural role models, stupid.
1 PAT_B0T 2019-04-28
Shush child, let the grownups speak...
1 PrinceAlena 2019-04-28
Yawn. Try harder grandpa