That was an aggravating slog to read

Imagine listening to him mushmouth his way through it to deafening silence.

When does he expect the deafening silence to be ended by laughter? The “punch-line” at the end? No, even this hack knows that’s too long of silence for not much pay off. Or maybe the crowd will crack up laughing while Fat describes how all their lives will end and the famine that kills everyone else they know. Are the crow-bared in pop culture references gonna get them going? “Haha I’ve been to comic con. There are a lot of nerds there! He’s right!” How was this supposed to work on stage?

i hate his "comic stance" with both feet apart, he's almost squatting too.. watch his stand up on youtube, he's standing like that the whole time, i don't know if he read it in a book on stand up or some shit.

I love children. I have a hard drive full of them.

Number of file-trade partners I've met on reddit: 60

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yeah he's also swaying from left to right like some kind of water head

It screams "Now get this..."

Standup comedy for fatties

Holy crow. Presumably, he also told this on a stage? I almost envy the lack of self-awareness. Must be an easier life.

a life were you give yourself a ticker tape parade every time you respond to a troll does sound pretty charmed

Nice where, stupid.

get your karma into the positive before you address me child

me, child*

Nice grammar, stupid.

You understood me tho, right?

Then shut up

No.

​

Shut up.* Nice period, stupid. 😂

periods after comments represent a finality neither of us are ready to accept

“That’s a final episode, I’m just not gonna press play on.”- HR

That’s almost what makes it worse. Hacks like this, in all walks of life, get off easy. They never know how spectacularly unextraordinary they are until late in life. Then they die of heart disease like 5 years later, we deal with them in the mean time

It's like Frank Grimes vs Homer Simpson.

That was supposed to be a joke?

What? TOO REAL?

This is tiring, memes are supposed to be quick and to the point.

Is this the guy that used to have a nice looking wife who left him for Chad Thundercock, but now has a fucking fly covered sow named Liz who defends him online?

Deadass his cock looks like an Arizona Iced Tea can

What if they announced a superhero movie, the nerds were so loud that everyone died and only the nerds remained to talk about nerd stuff.

There you go Patrick. 25 words to tell the same "joke".

Shush child, let the grownups speak...

i thought nerds were supposed to be smart

They just identify as smart.

No humor either.

r/standupshots

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I think this is one of those jokes were you go "I LURVE DC AND MARBLES" and clap like a seal.

That wasn't funny.

Children

Too real?!

I know we all can be victims to our own temporary self-grander. It can be hard to look at our own work objectively. But how, I ask you, does he read this and think “I’m going to be a professional comedian, and I’m a talented writer.” Is the Snyder part the punch-line?

How stupid do you have to be to think volcanoes would cause a nuclear winter?

I'll have you know that Patrick took one semester of physical science at a community college- he failed. But that's beside the point.

I'm starting to hate his wife a bit.

She looks normal, but she enables this shit financially, and emotionally.

just completely humourless.

imagine this being in ur set , and then saying norm isn't funny

Oh there's a lot of fat on one joke in that picture.

wait, is this real? its not even a joke.

Hey guys comics amirite?